Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

Everytime I want to do something wedding related, he tells me 'we'll see' Like tomorrow I wanted to look at videos and he tell me, 'I don't know' he never gives me a direct answer and I always feel as if I was hounding him. I usually end up doing things by myself, but I want him more involved.

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

I have the opposite, my FH is TOO INVOLVED we are fighting over our centerpeices (what man cares about flowers)

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

sometimes the men feel that their point of view won't even count because we are all 'bridezillas'. Talk to him and make sure he knows his point of view counts. Just one thought!

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

Nikki - I'm sure my Groomzilla will care about the flowers too. He's cooled off - probably b/c we haven't made any new plans lately...but I'm bracing myself!

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

Join teh club..our wedding will be like a surprise to my fiance..its not that I didnt try to include him..he just works 6 LONG days a week and just doesnt feel like going all out and investigating evrey little thing like I do..he has an idea of what our wedding will be like..just isnt sure. It bothered me in the beginning..It was HIS idea to get married and he wouldnt even help me..but now Im actually glad..sometimes I question his taste..so its probably better this way.

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

i'd suggest trying to talk to him about this. I'd be concerned too if my FH didn't want to be involved in the planning. For some odd reason - we're planning everything together and it's gone really smoothly so far (knock on wood).

But if you want him involved - let him know that you miss him not being there. Both of you are getting married! Just because brides traditionally do all the planning doesn't mean it always has to be that way!

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

I wouldn't be concerned at all. I planned our wedding all by myself, if it were left up to Brian, we would be married by now in Vegas or on the beach in the Bahams. Now that it's getting closer he is taking some interst, everyday I see an improvement. We barely ever argue over wedding stuff and he always tells me to do what I want, I am better at this stuff. We set a trict budget that we stuck to, and I think the fact that we weren't agruing over wedding money has helped.

ETS: Brian just called me and said, 'Guess what?'
I said 'WHat?' He goes 227.... ANd I responded Days!!! I have been with him everyday for two weeks and when I get home, I go on LIW and he watches TV and I tell him how many days we have left. Tonight I am going home to my mothers, so he did the countddown for me... Most of teh time, even if they don't take interest in teh planning part, tehy are marrying you not for the fun of it, tehy are marrying you because they love you!!!

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

I'm actually glad he's not getting involved with the planning! It's enough I have my mom involved in every decision!! I figure the less he know the better. He knows how noratic and anal my mom and I are about every tiny weeny little detail!! He only gets involved once in a while to ask the famous question 'how much is this wedding costing'
Ha ha......I personally I can't wait to see his reaction to the wedding day!! I want him to be surprised too about all the personal details I am putting in to it. Then I think he will really appreciate all the time and effort that I invested.
So don't feel bad he's not involed, instead think of it as freedom to plan 'Your Day' (even tho' it both) the way you always wanted!!!

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

I did some of the things on my own, like photography, video, flowers. Ask your FH want he would be interested in doing. My DH wanted to do music and honeymoon. Otherwise, you will wait forever for your FH to find the time to do these things. I know because that's what I dealt with during the planning process.

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

my fiance did this to me... i finally talked to him and he said 'just tell me when you want to go, dont ask'.. so i told him 'ok tuesday we're going to check out this ' or 'friday we have an appointent with this'

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

This is so funny, b/c I had the same argument with FI. Everytime he asks, 'what are you thinking about? You have been so quiet'. I'm like 'our wedding. I was thinking about the x (insert anything- the flowers, band, seating, cake- you name it) and he groans, like he is sick of hearing it. On Sunday, I got the riot act read to me because it was about 8:30 in the morning and I was printing out possible groomsmen tuxedos and possibly his tuxedo. He was so ticked. I'm like- 'Hello!!! We have two months until the wedding! No tuxedo for you. Work with me here, buddy!!!' I once even issued the challenge, crying, 'I'll stop planning for two weeks and let's see what happens'. But he knew I was bluffing and that didn't last long!!! They seem to see right through that.

In general, he just has no interest in this stuff and asks like a root canal is more exciting. My advice- don't take it personally... They just aren't into this kind of stuff. But on the day, I have heard that they all tear up, thinking you are soooo beautiful as you are walking down the aisle.... Maybe the guilt will help on the day!!!

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

Personally - I don't agree with some of what is being said here. I think that there are men that want to be involved but may not feel that they are allowed to, because women are traditionally the wedding planners. I would feel terribly planning anything without him - but anytime we go anywhere together, he is treated like he is being dragged there. But he is just as involved as I am! (Ok, so he's not a member of LIW, but that's the exception).

I see the whole wedding planning process as our first project to do together as we prepare for the rest of our lives! I see it as an adventure we're going on together and so we should prepare for it together. I know that I'm in the minority here and people are shocked when I tell them how much we do together, but I just had to write what I felt. Everyone plans differently and that's what makes us all who we are!

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

I let him off for most of the planning...but in the end it worked out, b/c when I really needed his help...he was there..

DH didn't care about much, but when he did pick things out...he announced to the world that it was his decision

It makes it a little easier when you only have to make the decision yourself...

Re: Can't get Fi to do wedding related stuff with me.

I told my Fi to get his butt moving as I was fuming with his lack of involvement. 'I'm NOT marrying myself, I'm married you. So, will you please get involved with the wedding plans? I would like to see more input from you not just 'yes dear' or 'whatever you say.' Finally after much serious conversations he was able to get involved.

You need to talk with him and tell him how you feel. It you AND your Fi's big day. You're marrying him not marrying yourself.