Having children at wedding??

Is anyone having children at their wedding?? If you are, approximately how many? And if your having kids, is it because they're in the bridal party, or because your guests couldn't get a babysitter?

I am only engaged all of 7 weeks and FMIL is already telling me that I HAVE to have all of FH's nieces/nephews at the wedding....there are 6 kids- the oldest will be 8 & 9 at the time of our wedding- all the rest are going to be between the ages of 1-3. I had told her I really only wanted the flower girls (who will both be 3 at our wedding- one is his niece, one is mine) and the ring bearer (who will be 5) to attend....because I don't want the dance floor to be taken over by kids (its happened at other parties!) and also I want his brothers/ sister in laws to be able to just enjoy themselves at our wedding. I told FMIL that I'm sending invites out to the Mr. & Mrs. and if there's babysitter issues they can talk to me about it, b/c the bottom line is I'd rather have my guests there with their kids then to not have them there at all.

sorry had to vent!!!!

Just wanted to add- FH & I are paying for the wedding entirely out of our own pockets!! Neither of our families are contributing...that's why I kind of feel like its a little rude to tell us who we should or shouldn't have at our wedding.

Re: Having children at wedding??

I think kids at weddings are a personal choice. For me, I said absolutely no! Period, no room for discussion. My wedding was at 9PM on a Friday night, clearly an adult evening wedding. I think children are wonderful, but not when they start crying during your vows or running in circles on the dance floor.

On the other hand, if your FMIL is contributing, unfortunately, she may have a bit of a say. It is still early in the game for you, but hold strong on your opinions.

Re: Having children at wedding??

I would invite the 8 and 9 year old and then just the flower girls and ring bearer. The 1 - 3 year olds should not be there...not a place for children if you ask me.

I'm having a few kids...just family. My 4 yr old nephew who is ring bearer. Another 7 yr old ring bearer. 2 6 yr old flower girls and then just an 8 yr old and a 3 yr old and they are only invited b/c they are coming in from San Diego and won't stay with strangers...besides they are family and we want them there. No other children are invited.

It's a touchy subject....I have 3 other nephews and 1 niece but they are all babies under the age of 1 and I don't want them there. Neither do my siblings...they want to have fun.

Re: Having children at wedding??

I am only having FH's nieces and nephews...some of them will be in the bridaly party so I figure I can't leave others out, there are only 5 total. And that is it for kids. Plus I don't think my friends will want to bring their kids, they will not want to babysit them all night, it is their night out away from them.. weddings are adult events I think.

If you he has so many nieces and nephs..just to a cut off age..but wait, I was just re-reading your post...

6 kids total..three will be in the party - 2 are ages 8 and 9, so not that bad..and there is only one more left...so really it will be three more than you wanted, that's not too bad..

Re: Having children at wedding??

i'm only having my niece, nephew FH niece & nephews so about 6 kids

Re: Having children at wedding??

we are having children that are in the bridal party.... and my oot bm she has two sons they will be invited (can't expect her to pay for a babysitter 2) althought the parents of the FG and the parents of the RB are contiplating having them @ the reception!!

plus my reception gives me 5 free children!

Re: Having children at wedding??

i'm in the same boat. IMO a wedding is no place for children. However, I lost that battle... FMIL won, but I'm using it as amo... when I want something that they don't really love, I remind them about the whole 'children/no children' thing. Good luck!

Re: Having children at wedding??

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Posted by soon2bcopswife

I think kids at weddings are a personal choice. For me, I said absolutely no! Period, no room for discussion. My wedding was at 9PM on a Friday night, clearly an adult evening wedding. I think children are wonderful, but not when they start crying during your vows or running in circles on the dance floor.

On the other hand, if your FMIL is contributing, unfortunately, she may have a bit of a say. It is still early in the game for you, but hold strong on your opinions.

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Sorry forgot to point out- FMIL is not contributing....I told her that FH & I really need to decide for ourselves.....our reception is on a Saturday night- so I feel like it's an 'adult's party' too.

Re: Having children at wedding??

I have children and I want them to be there. I scheduled my wedding for an afternoon to accomodate their schedule!

It is a personal choice - and I might feel differently if I were NOT a mother - but I am and I think that kids bring a little bit of the unexpected and a lot of joy to everything. I look forward to having a lot of children there.

Most of my friends have young children and they are all invited. Some will NOT bring their kids because they want to enjoy a kid free outing.

I will have activities and babysitters there to entertain the wee ones so that the adults are better able to enjoy the party without a constant 'MOM! DAD!!!!'

I anticipate between 10-28 kids.


ETA... WHOA>.. I meant between 10 and 18 kids... 28 might be a bit much even for me!

Re: Having children at wedding??

I am only having my FH's neices and newphews. There are 8 of them and they range in age from 3 years old - 11 years old.

Re: Having children at wedding??

i completely empathize, some ppl just gotta be more responsible with their own kids!

how the hell are they supposed to enjoy themselves if they have to babysit their own kids while they're boozing and dancing away?

i get incensed at inconsiderate parents like that... my family didnt even want to hear 'no children' when i bought it up *sigh*

and they balked when i even mentioned hiring babysitters to take care of the kids saying they won't trust them, how f*king rude is that?

my FH's family understands and are gonna leave the kids at home, thank god!

Re: Having children at wedding??

Its a personal choice...

I had kids....9 were in my bridal party...I didn't have bridesmaids instead had 6 flower girls (ages 4 and 5), 2 junior bridemaid (ages 8 and 9) and 1 ring bearer (age 4)

I also invited ring bearer's brother - age 8
One of the flower girl's brother - age 9

Junior bridesmaids' brothers - age 9 and 13

And cousins ages 13, 14

And one guest did not have a sitter so she came with a 3 year old (she asked me of course)

Total kids ranging from from 3 - 14 years old = 17

BTW - they behaved better than my adult guests(after a couple of drinks)



edited to add......I love these kids and I was very happy they were there....they danced (which made people get up and dance and they looked beautiful in pictures...watching us during first dance, especially!!!!

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Re: Having children at wedding??

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Posted by Tsalice

I am only having FH's nieces and nephews...some of them will be in the bridaly party so I figure I can't leave others out, there are only 5 total. And that is it for kids. Plus I don't think my friends will want to bring their kids, they will not want to babysit them all night, it is their night out away from them.. weddings are adult events I think.

If you he has so many nieces and nephs..just to a cut off age..but wait, I was just re-reading your post...

6 kids total..three will be in the party - 2 are ages 8 and 9, so not that bad..and there is only one more left...so really it will be three more than you wanted, that's not too bad..

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Actually- only his niece is in the bridal party- she's 3, my niece who's 3, and my cousin's son who's 5...that's all I wanted to have.

Maybe the best compromise is having the 3 in the bridal party and then the 8 & 9 year old nephews- then I'd be having 3 out of his 6 nieces/nephews, leaving out the other 3 (one will be 2, another will almost be 2 and another will be 18 months). My FMIL said she thinks peoples feelings will be hurt if I leave anyone out, but I kinda think they might want a night out without the kids anyway!

Re: Having children at wedding??

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Posted by LovelyChas

Its a personal choice...

I had kids....9 were in my bridal party...I didn't have bridesmaids instead had 6 flower girls (ages 4 and 5), 2 junior bridemaid (ages 8 and 9) and 1 ring bearer (age 4)

I also invited ring bearer's brother - age 8
One of the flower girl's brother - age 9

Junior bridesmaids' brothers - age 9 and 13

And cousins ages 13, 14

And one guest did not have a sitter so she came with a 3 year old (she asked me of course)

Total kids ranging from from 3 - 14 years old = 17

BTW - they behaved better than my adult guests(after a couple of drinks)

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Re: Having children at wedding??

I am not having them at mine but the only thing I can tell you is that kids were at FH's cousin's wedding at by dinner they were running around and SCREAMING!!!
It was kind of annoying and if I were the Bride I dont' thihk I would have been happy

Remember it's your wedding, don't let anyone TELL you that you HAVE to have anything if you really don't want it

Re: Having children at wedding??

i am having kids there because i couldnt imagine ever getting married without my nieces and nephews there!! it would be awful!

and since they will be there i cant exclude FHs cousins etc.

but his family uses weddings as a night out and leaves the kids at home so hopefully they will continue with that for my wedding!

Re: Having children at wedding??

I'm only inviting certain children ... my 2 nieces (will be 3 and 6) and FH's 6 cousins from OOT (will be between 2 and 12). It's only 8 kids, and from the weddings I've been to the kids have never gotten in the way. To be honest, if they act up, the parents or grandparents have to deal with that. I'll be surprised if I spend all that much time with them at the reception, so they're not my problem I probably won't even notice if something is going on!

Re: Having children at wedding??

yea it def is a personal choice.

we had kids. DH has a lot of little cousins. I dont have many littl cousins but through the years of dating DH I felt like the kids were my family. I just felt I wanted there for our day.

But again it is personal choice. It is a tough one for some cause it is like where do u draw the line on th invite list

good luck in the decision

Re: Having children at wedding??

Thanks ladies!! You guys are definitely helping me realize that having some kids there is not the end of the world...I guess I just really resented being told I HAD to have them...when me & FH haven't even discussed this in detail yet!!

Re: Having children at wedding??

It's tough to be told that you have to do something when you weren't planning on it.

One thing though, even though your FMIL says that you HAVE to have them there, their parents might not want them there! We don't have nieces and nephews but, most of the people we know that have young kids are very excited to get a babysitter and have a night out.