SIL VENT - Part 2

So, my SIL (BIL's wife) Meredith is the BOMB. She's super friendly and kind and sweet and funny! We get along so well...I honestly consider her a very close friend of mine.

Problem is, she has a 'bad reputation' with MIL and my 3 other SILs. They all judge her on her 'parenting skills'...they think she drinks too much....you name it, they've got something negative to say about her.

DH doesn't like that I am close with meredith because of the aforementioned family dynamics. I'm not trying to say Meredith is an angel. She definitely isn't perfect and she isn't shy...she stands up for herself and doesn't always handle family situations with her best foot forward. Regardless, I love her and we are not only SILs but great friends.

She has ALWAYS...from the very beginning...been sweet and kind to me. I believe in treating someone how they treat me.

DH is NOT a controlling person in general but he is being borderline controlling about my relationship with meredith. He always weighs in on it and says his sisters don't like meredith for reasons that go back years and years.

UGH...thoughts?

Re: SIL VENT - Part 2

this is a tricky situation. i will think about it. but for now...

Re: SIL VENT - Part 2

Sorry but from the last two posts it sounds like SILs are very cliquey which I HATE. It sounds to me like Meredith isn't afraid to be different and they don't like that. Did he say what the reasons are going back years? Did Meredith actually DO something to his family? If not, then tell him to keep his opinions to himself!

Re: SIL VENT - Part 2

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Posted by jilliibabii

Sorry but from the last two posts it sounds like SILs are very cliquey which I HATE. It sounds to me like Meredith isn't afraid to be different and they don't like that. Did he say what the reasons are going back years? Did Meredith actually DO something to his family? If not, then tell him to keep his opinions to himself!

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agreed! also, her name is really cool so therefore she must be awesome

Re: SIL VENT - Part 2

Tell him that she drinks so much because she has to deal with his family. Then start humming happy birthday and pop open a bottle of wine!

Re: SIL VENT - Part 2

my response... would simply be 'i'd be like that with your sisters if they were as nice to me as meredith is.'

end of story.

i'm closer and friendlier with one of my SILs simply because she is so with me? kwim?

we are just closer personality-types ...

also i'd make a point to say '... i have no problem with her - i'm not going to not be friendly with her just because your sisters don't like her. how would you feel if people treated me that way?'

would he want people to gang up on you? because it seems like that is what is being expected here? for you to join forces against her.

Re: SIL VENT - Part 2

adding on here... had to check exactly what the relation was with you guys. wasn't sure if she was your brother's wife or your husband's brother's wife.

but anyways -- you and her are in the exact situation.

the outside women.

again -- i don't put up with shtt but if DH had a brother who had a wife/girlfriend -- I WOULD IMMEDIATELY CLING TO HER. Especially if we got along well.

... and moreover -- if this kind of conversation happens when you're around about HER -- my thought would be 'well what are these bitcches saying about me when they're around HER.'



not saying you should be thinking that -- because you're awesome. but these are things i'd express to my husband if this situation was my own.

Re: SIL VENT - Part 2

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Posted by flibbertigibbet

my response... would simply be 'i'd be like that with your sisters if they were as nice to me as meredith is.'

end of story.

i'm closer and friendlier with one of my SILs simply because she is so with me? kwim?

we are just closer personality-types ...

also i'd make a point to say '... i have no problem with her - i'm not going to not be friendly with her just because your sisters don't like her. how would you feel if people treated me that way?'

would he want people to gang up on you? because it seems like that is what is being expected here? for you to join forces against her.

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I agree with both of Becki's posts 100%.

I get along world better with my other SIL (DH's other sister) because she's nice to me and friendly and treats me with respects, inquires about my life. Whereas the other, horrible SIL can't be bothered whatsoever and is not nice.

It's hard for you to be nice to people who are not nice to you in the first place. Now he's going to try to pull you away from the one person who makes you feel more included with the family? That's just silly. **If my DH had a brother, i too would cling to his girlfriend/wife - aka the only other person outside of the family who understands when you're looking in at everyone else thinking 'W T F?'

I would tell DH that you respect his thoughts on the situation, that you will not go out of your way to be rude to his sisters, but that you have no intention of distancing yourself from SIL #4 because of anyone else. Your relationship with her is between you and her, and no one else.

Re: SIL VENT - Part 2

i would continue my relationship with her. unless the situation is more serious than you are aware of.