Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)??

the first place we booked was for the date June 15th - I just didn't feel it. 6-15 was a time you woke up not a day you got married.

We kept looking until we found the right place for us. But I guess we were lucky because I definitely felt it was the right place and the right dress and I have no regrets.

I can only say, make sure you're sure. It all comes together wonderfully in the end.

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)??

If you are unsure..then keep looking. Dont just settle for anything less than you deserve.
Hubby and I looked EVERYWHERE for a hall, and liked some, and didnt care for others. We said we will find the place...we just have to keep looking.
Im glad we found the place we did, because it was PERFECT.
Same with my dress, I just knew that it was the one. Yes, I lokked at others after I ordered it, and second guessed myself a few times. But when I went to my first fitting, I knew I made the RIGHT choice.
Like LisaT said...it will allc come together

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

I have the hardest time making important decisions - I think and rethink and basically drive myself crazy, which is exactly what your doing! The way I see it, there really is no 'perfect' place when you need to work with a budget. I love where I'm getting married, but there are things about it that I didn't want (they have oval tables, I really wanted round - no big deal to some, but it bothers me). I certainly didn't cry 'oh yes, this is IT!' when I first saw it, but I don't think that has to happen for it to be the right place. You have to start looking at what you DO love about the place. I went to 10 places AFTER I first saw my hall, and there were others that I liked a little more, but this fit the budget better, and I don't want to be in debt from my wedding! Don't stress it - not everyone cries when they find whats right for them, that doesn't mean its a mistake!

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

I can relate to you completely. I totally fell in love with Fox Hollow, which was the first hall we looked at, but it wasn't going to work out for us logistically. We ended up booking Chateau Briand which I like, but I can't say I fell in love with it. I know it will be nice but in a small way I feel a bit jipped in not booking a hall I fell in love with.

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

I had some issues with the dress but Carlyle on the Green was the place I did fall in love with. I loved the simplicity and absolute elegance of the place. Beautiful dark wood floors- vast ball room with beautiful windows and curtains.. no ugly colors- no ugly carpets... and WONDERFUL service with WONDERFUL food. If you wanted a simple day- the Carlyle is simple- but elegant- it is not dripping with opulence. The cocktail hour is done well but not over-the-top. The servers make sure all of your guests have drinks and are happy with their food.

If you have any questions about the Carlyle or want to know more about menu choices, service, let me know..

But as I said- I felt the same way about my dress- totally upset about it- thought that I just picked it so I didn't have to look any more- but in the end- when it was all fitted for me and I was ready to walk down the aisle- I couldn't have made a better choice.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

I am stressing over the same thing right now. We looked for 4 months. My top picks were Carlyle, carltun, Oheka, Russo's on teh Bay and Garden city Hotel. FI and I went over everything from $$$ to ambiance to food a 1000 times. He has had it. I need to decide today between Russo's and Oheka. No more time to get deposit back. I love the elegance of Oheka, but am uncertain about the new room, especially since they are putting carpet in there and we steered away from every hall that had carpeting. Also we think it will be too big for our 130 guests. Russo's has a lot better food I have heard on this chat line and I the room is better suited to our # of guests and has no rugs. I only wish I could decide. FI is ready to kill me but I am really worried about Oheka's food being typical and skimpy!

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

I know how you feel - my parents are paying for most of the wedding and are orchestrating their dream, not mine. We're still pretty early in, but other than the church (which I have gone to since I was a little girl) there is very little in this that has brought me to tears. I keep reminding myself that it is all about me and FH, but it's tough not being the teary bride. I think we might elope a few weeks before the wedding - Vegas, baby! - so that we have something that is ours which will bring me to tears!

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

Laura:
I think you need to start looking at the plusses and not the minuses of each place.

For our hall, it just felt right, and the same goes for our photographer/video. But the dress/florist - well, I like them, but I am not in love with them...

So what? As long as they can get the job done, that's all that is necessary...

Make sure that you're happy with your choices and everything will be ok.

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

i totally understand how you feel. the hall that i liked the best just wasn't going to work for us for logistical and money reasons. i'm disappointed, but also happy with the place i chose. i know no matter where i have it the important thing is that my family is there and that we have fun!

also don't forget that people react to things differently. just because some people cry when they find the right dress doesn't mean everyone has too. i didn't, but i love my dress. if deep down you feel really unhappy and can't picture yourself at the wedding in the dress or at that hall then maybe it's a good idea to keep looking. but if you feel satisfied and are just upset that you're not having the same jump for joy reaction as other people don't worry. some of us are just less emotional than others.

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

Sweetnessconfused,
Well, with everyone helping me, I am glad to be able to help you with something. I happened to visit Oheka on a day they were having a luncheon and we ate there. I have to say that the food was impeccable! Absolutely top-notch. And I did not feel slighted in the least with the portions. It was a pre-appetizer, appetizer, meal, and an assortent of deserts (which included the best fruit tart I have ever tasted). I have eaten at Russo's but it was so long ago I can't remember enough to voice an opinon. I feel for you. If I had to do it again I would just back away and not think about it for a few weeks and then come back at the decision after I've calmed down. I make stupid decisions when I am stressed. Actually, I can't say that they are stupid - I just don't feel as comfortable with them afterwards. Anyway, I hope I helped some. Good luck.

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

This is a topic i can totally relate to!

When we went looking, we knew we had a budget in mind. We paid for everything ourselves & did not want to break the bank paying for our wedding. I did NOT want any wedding debt when all was said & done.

The first place I fell in love with was Flowerfield. But b/c we were having a small wedding, their price was too much. so on we went. We didn't have much luck after that.

We finally settled on the Hamlet G & CC. I wasn't completely sold on it when we booked, but they have a tremdous reputation & they were willing to work with us. We liked the manager & we booked. I was skeptical right up to the day we got married.

Well .... I could not have asked for better!! All of my worrying was for nothing. When it all came together, it was so beautiful & classy & the food was SPECTACULAR! People have told us that it was one of the best weddings!

So my story has a happy ending. But this is my opinion on this is (of course considering that hindsight is 20-20!) ...

Falling in love is really hyped. I think it'd be great if we did for EVERYTHING ... but, what's most important is that you're beginning the rest of your life with someone you LOVE & that you have the most important people around you. When the day is done, you'll look back on it & how great it was & you'll be happy!!

It'll all work out! Good luck!

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

Sassy - I also believe that everything happens for a reason. This is such a silly thing to say but I look for signs. Especially when I can't make a decision. Like, I sit there hoping that fate will just jump out at me and make my decision for me. So, having said that, here is my story....
I made up my mind that if ONE thing went wrong at the Carlyle the day I went to sign that I would smile, walk right out and drive over to Bellport b/c it would be a sign that it was the wrong place. I specifically said if they say its going to cost even one penny over what they already told me, I was out. Well, low and behold, something did go wrong that day! They quoted me $10 more a head than what I thought we had agreed upon over the phone!!! Now, I had anticipated that if they said that to me that I would be relieved b/c then my decision would be made. So that is why I was so shocked by my reaction..... I CRIED! I broke down like a freakin baby and just let it all out (right there in front of everyone). I had to run to the bathroom out of embarrasment and to just get it all out. So I ask myself the question - did I cry b/c I was upset that I couldn't get that particular hall or b/c I just wanted so bad for the decision to be over and now it wasn't?
Well, before I could rid myself of the emotional mess i was, my sister came running into the bathroom to tell me that while i was in there crying, my FH had worked out a deal that would allow us to get it for the price originally quoted. So I came back out, tail between my legs, and watched him sign on the dotted line.

Now what do you think? Was that fate telling me that I should have just walked out or was it fate that we ended up getting the original price? I dunno.

Oh geez, that was a long one - sorry again!

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)??

I didn't cry over my hall. I just had requirements and the one that best fit them, I booked. I do love my dress, but again didn't cry over it. In all honesty I only cried at watching videos (when selecting a videographer) and hearing the organist at the church when I selected the music.

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

Christine - you have fm

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

LauraPete-
I think in one way or another, we all can say we have felt what you're feeling. I don't know you, but it really just sounds like nerves. I've heard all the rumors about wedding planning stress etc.. and had always thought, eh, I'm a really easy going person, I won't be stressed or have nerves. well, turns out I'm human too! I've got stress I don't know what to do with on some days, and others are fine.
Regarding the paticulars like the hall, you have to decide what's the most important thing to you. You have a beautiful hall, and I'm thinking you cried b/c you had a price in mind and when you heard the higher price, it didn't seem like it was going to work. But it did, and that's the fate. I went to a receeption there, and it was simply spectacular!
I am having my dress made. I did go and try on a few to make sure the style and fabric I picked out acutally looked good on me. I wasn't overwhelmed with- wow, this is it! Type of feeling. Today, I'm overjoyed b/c I finally found the favors I've been looking for! haha- it's so funny the highs and lows.
If 'people' relatives anyone was/is making you make decisions i.e. time May- Oct... try not to tell them anything until you and FH have made your decision. Everyone has an opinion, and if there's anything I've learned, they love to share it, especially when it differs from yours.
Stay postivie! This is a very exciting time!!!!
We're all here to listen and vent..... lord knows I've turned her many a day!

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)??

I have not fallen in love with:

china

a gown

a reception hall or other venue

Unfortunately, as I am trying to save for the wedding, I have fallen in love with:

Frette sheets

too many shoes

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)??

LauraPete-

All I can tell you is that my wedding at the Carlyle three months ago was perfect... I really do not have one bad thing to say- everything I saw was perfect, everything tasted wonderful and the service was top notch.. ritz carlton quality. In my mind the Carlyle is the closest you can get to a NYC venue without paying the NYC prices. I don't think you should worry and read into it being a sign- I agree that you probably cried because the increased the price & you didn't expect it! I cried when I left there because I thought we couldn't afford it (we couldn't afford a Saturday- which is why we had it for a Friday in January... if I told you the price you wouldn't believe it was the Carlyle)...

I think, (of course I do) that you made an amazing decision.

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)??

don't worry..it will come to you. Although, I knew from the age of 15 where I would get married, my dress was another story.

I really liked it and my mom (who always tells me truth) loved it on me...I didn't have the feeling 'oh, this is the one.' Even when I showed people the picture, I was like 'oh, and this is my dress.' However, during my last fitting...I did tear up and then I knew.

Everyone is different and your emotions may come out when you are not feeling too stressed. Best of luck to you.

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

Laura-
We sound so much alike! We both considered the same places and are both stressing over the same things. Unfortunately have the added stress that I may lose my job soon do to them selling our unit! My FI keeps telling me to cut down somewhere, but how do you turn around after 4 months of searching. He doesn't even want to go hear the bands because the prices seem to be going higher!!! I am either crying or fighting. I just want to settle up on a place so we can start to book the other things. Everytime I turn around it seems like another date is gone, aband is already booked or the photographer. I just hope i don't lose my job anytime soon! My boss asked ne today if I have out a hold on wedding plans due to everythong going on. Its amazing how inconsiderate people are! I have been dating FI for 11 years. It took such a long time to get engaged and now I wonder if I will ever get married!!!!

Re: Anyone else not 'fall in love' with ANYTHING (hall, dress, china etc.)'

sweetnessconfused - wow, i can't believe your boss said that to you! I wouldn't know what to say in return to that (without getting fired). I know what you mean about prices being through the roof and feeling added pressure to make a decision b/c dates just keep disappearing. The only way i felt we could save money was by going DJ instead of a band. Other than that, I am going to TRY to keep the flowers minimal. All I can say is that I wish I had taken my sister's advice to just stop worrying about availabilites and just give myself a week or so to NOT think about it or make a decision. My head would have been much clearer. But don't worry about the getting married part - although work ****s and you are a stress ball right now everything will be worth it in the end (that's what I keep telling myself... ).