Good Morning!

First of all, thank you to everyone who offered support. That is much appreciated, and I noticed enough positive response to remind me to ignore the negative.

I think the main issue here is aggressive hostility instead of simply an opinion. There is a big difference. Perhaps it simply comes from immaturity, and of course we should understand that (although that kind of hostility should not be tolerated.) I noticed that Wendy had some nice words of advice that was completely turned around in an immature aggressive way. I suppose we need to be somewhat tolerant of immature behavior, but again it is the sniping attack that is objectionable. There is quite a difference between offering an opinion and attacking with hostility. This is an opinion and advice that can be taken in the vein that is meant; with equinimity, or with defensive attacking hostility (an oxymoron!)

Addressing the minor issue of tipping: Guidelines are only meant as suggested guidelines to help out in a confusing situation. The purpose is an attempt to address an awkward situation and make everyone happy. They come from averages in the past that have seemed normal. Is $1 acceptable for a bellhop, or was that from 20 years ago? Do they expect $5? Do they laugh/sneer @ $1? I appreciate knowing because I don't like offending people.

Once Again, and I end this now

There was no harm intended at you. Your input was appreciated by people on this board. I'm not knocking your advice or experience, nor did I say you weren't hard working. What upset me was your comment about how "If you want a better job, then you should take care of him/her" Mark, I'm sorry, I only gave my opinion which is that I feel that this sort of attitude is wrong. What if two wonderful people wish to be married and they can barely afford their wedding. Now that bride/groom feels horrible because she CAN'T take care of you! Maybe it read wrong, but seeing the messages of other upset brides to be, it bothered me. I'm dropping this topic now! I will take the bashing, but will not change my opinion on that comment because everyone tells me I have too. The best to you. All of my entries, were MY OPINION! which now gets twisted around. Sorry.

My savior Matron of Honor had this to say:

Once Again, and I end this now

I ALSO SUPPORT YOU KATE. I BELIEVE YOU ARE 100% CORRECT AND NOTHING YOU SAID OR DID SHOULD BE TWISTED AROUND AT ALL. YOU HAVE ONLY RESPONDED TO THE OUT OF LINE COMMENTS FROM MARK! HE did NOT just give his opinion. should we reread the messages and immature comments by him. after all his was "just sit me in the back of the room, in the dark with no chair covers". also, "how do you expect me to work 15 hours without a bite!" looking back it was he not us that was an instigator. we discussed eating from home and at the brides own home....what could be better than that! and of course eating at cocktail hour. i agree lets drop it, but i think if anything was learned here it is that it is our site note the VENDORS! while we do appreciate their imput (with all the business for them to gain), we still must realize that it is a bride and groom's site, if he wants to participate in our forum fine, but not to upset the balance of our forum! i think his "last word" is also rediculous. nothing he said was only opinionated, it was responded by how he would personally treat one of us. for those remarks i stand by us together to withstand any uncalled for behavior by any vendor. he can demand his payment and price, but not food and tip! as we have all said what does he really work for! kate, as you said, lets now drop it and stand by each other. good luck girfriend!

It has been very interesting reading all the comments about Fox Hollow over the past few days. I thought I should answer everyone’s questions so that it would be clear as to what is actually happening.

There are Senior Citizens homes being built on the property west of Fox Hollow. The property is owned by the same company that owns the Fairhaven Apartments. They have owned the property for over 10 years. Their decision to build, although not my favorite, is their decision. As everyone knows, within 10-15 years almost 50% of the population will be over 50 years old, thus, there is a huge demand for such complexes. That is why the property owner is building the site. As a result of this construction, we have met with our neighbors and prepared a plan to plant more than 2 dozen 16 foot trees to buffer our garden from the adjacent property as well as putting curtains up in our ballroom that will block the view of the new site while giving our guests full view of our gardens.

Once Again, and I end this now

Thank you. It's not the first, and I'm sure, not the last confict Mark has been in on this site. When I first joined, there was a conflict going on with him. I've never seen it with any other vendor on here. We'll take it for face value

To the few that seem to be ruining for the rest of us:

I am sad to say that this board has hit quite a low point. Why can't people express their opinion without getting blasted? Then there are those of you totally bashing places without the proper information to do so. Now we have hall owners joining the list to defend their reputations!

Once Again, and I end this now

Truly unbelievable. I think the only explanation is that when I think I'm writing in English, I must be mistaken and it comes out another language. You seem to be constantly reacting to the wrong conclusions and not paying attention to the content that I'm attempting to communicate.

No matter. I simply wish you good luck + let's let THIS be the last word.

Peace.

Mark end this now

obviously your opinion as a vendor is upsetting brides who just want a chance to talk to "other brides". please stop atagonizing people and writing paragraphs to explain yourself. i feel like i can't even ask 'bridal questions' on here anymore without vendors 'telling me how it is".

No matter. I simply wish you good luck + let's let THIS be the last word.

Peace.

Good night.

No problem. Good night.

No matter. I simply wish you good luck + let's let THIS be the last word.

Peace.

Good night.

kate and sarah you are both right on. brides can't talk to other brides without vendors interfering. it isn't right. this is our chat room forum suggestions are one thing, comments are fine, but this nonsense of taking a stand is foolish. vendors should just stay out if they can't respect our questions and yes our answers and comments. i guess if they did a good job of it they would be teachers wouldn't they! well now that we're back together lets keep it that way. maybe l.i. weddings should explore the possibility of a different chat room for vendors to brides....instead of medling in on this one. about mark lets just let him go....maybe he should be a journalist or columnist with a newspaper...he just likes to be heard! lets go back to girl talk o.k. girls. see ya!

I have been coming here since I was told the Web site began to exist. Enough said...and I have been through the most miserable time with the planning of my own wedding. I went through the months of researching catering halls. Picked one that would handle a small affair. Thought I was happy with them, booked a photographer, who I still adore, although I wont get to use him. Got a DJ and a florist. The whole nine yards.

I had to cancel my plans and was very upset. I came here to tell everyone and you all were great. Until I had real problems and actually came to the boards to tell others the names of the establishments that were un professional. Now I am far from a dumby, and have been through a wedding and a marrage in my past, so I have done all this already. When my caterer tryed to keep 3x the legal amount that they were entitled to keep I was basically told that I was the one who was wrong! I know the laws, I read the contracts, yet I was Bashed! Same thing with the florist, who I never got more then an estimate from, nobody signed anything, yet now she wants money from me when nothing was ever in writing other then exactly just that....an estimate!

vendors on the chat board

Ladies and Gents,

vendors on the chat board

Thank you, Glory.

And gee golly. To everyone upset about my participation, please remember that I'm simply answering questions + giving advice because it was asked for; while also responding to the attacks from those of you who seem to forget that.

Let's all just relax, put everything in perspective, and enjoy our interactions; which is what it's all about, after all.

vendors on the chat board

Glory - I agree that vendor participation can be great for all of us. But if a vendor see's a bride getting upset, or several for that matter, why continue? I'm glad more of these brides have spoken up as to how they feel. I'm sure there are many who are viewing and not saying how they feel because they don't want to get involved, (which at this point I don't blame them). Maybe Mark was asked for his advice, but I think he said too much and went over the line. This is not a vendor forum, it's a bride/groom forum or MOB, MOG, etc. Vendors are more than welcome to participate, but look at what this has done!

I don't want the vendors to leave this site. They are helpful. Never seen any other vendors have a problem!

vendors on the chat board

Perhaps no other vendor has had such problems because nothing as touchy (controversal) had been addressed by a vendor.

To Kate

Kate-

I think that you got a bad rap from this whole thing and I hope that you are not discouraged. I followed these nonsensical posts for a while...and, although I am sure that I will "catch hell" for saying this...I agree with most of what you have said.

Vendors are more than welcome to give their advice. As a matter of fact, I appreciate it. But there is a difference between posting an opinion, and posting NUMEROUS defensive responses on that opinion.

To Kate

Thank you AMY! The best to you as well.

Tanya

To Kate

I'm so glad that so many people agree that this photographer person has been way out of line. I cannot imagine that even 1 person who uses this sight or has read comments from this photographer would actually use him. Could you imagine having to spend your wedding day with someone so condescending and so unwilling to hear your opinions. Good luck with all your plans.

Using Mark's suggestion for a last word, here it is again:

Peace.

To Kate

Sarah - Couldn't have said it any better myself. It's ridiculous that we gave opinions and those who didn't like them, blasted them. I don't care though. That's my opinion and my choice just as they had theirs. No-one is going to make me feel bad because I don't believe in what they do. If they want to hire such a person, go right ahead,

Cathyanne, Hi there. Different strokes for different folks. Everyone is here to just give opinions and help out. What is gawdy to one person might not be to another. Some people find CB gawdy and love Jericho Terrace. What it boils down to is that everyones taste/preferences are different. Taking that into consideration we shouldnt judge someone elses opinion. Just my two cents. Take care!

As far as how many to get you can put several at each table if you are presenting them in frames or in menu holders. Another way to do it that is nice as well is to have them inserted into the flap of a folded napkin and lay them on top of the plate at each place setting. In this case you would need one per person.

To Kate

Geez Kate--- you really need to get over yourself. If you are that confident of your opinions why do you feel the need to constantly get the last word? This board has become very boring to me and to a lot of others thanks to you.

I would read messages below on tipping etc.

Hi Vince!

My Goodness!

Sarah + others,

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. I truly don't understand all this hostility and resentment. You obviously don't know me, yet feel ok in forming these judgements. All I've done is answer people's questions, try to give advice, and defend myself against people who seem to be quite angry about something. I don't quite get it.

My Goodness!

Mark- I don't think you have to worry about ruining your reputation. Kate obviously is the one without a huge fan club on this site. From what I have seen you have a lot of fans. Your opinions and experience are truly valued, even by those who have decided to go with other photographers. Thanks for your input. It really is appreciated.

If the tip is included, the tip is included. No need to tip anymore, especially since you had to pay the tip already up front.

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. I truly don't understand all this hostility and resentment. You obviously don't know me, yet feel ok in forming these judgements. All I've done is answer people's questions, try to give advice, and defend myself against people who seem to be quite angry about something. I don't quite get it.