How do I handle a self invited guest?

Today I received an email from an old friend who has invited herself AND A GUEST to our wedding! She's already making travel arrangements!

We were really close in college but had a falling out years later in 97. Aside from a few causal emails (3 in the past year!) we have had no contact. We haven't even talked on the phone in almost 3 years!

Obviously, I need to find a way to uninvite her but I can't quite find the words. Any suggestions?

How do I handle a self invited guest?

I don't know if you are going to like my answer. But, it is based on the limited information you posted. It seems to me that if she is willing to travel at her expense and provide a wedding gift (assumption but a good one) even after a falling out a few years ago - it appears to me that she is still a close friend from college. It might be that you just need to remind yourself of that. Close friends are hard to come by and the best ones are those that forgive and forget. We are all imperfect and we all make many mistakes. How can we ask others to forgive us when we make mistake if we can't be forgive ourselves? Again, I don't know what happened and each case is different, but wouldn't it be better to acknowledge that you truly have a very good friend and greet her with open arms?

How do I handle a self invited guest?

Hi Karen: If you really do not wish to have her there for personal reasons, I would just tell her that your have an extremely limited list and only immediate family has been invited due to cost. Tell her that in the future you might be having a barbecue or party for others who you couldn't invite. That will ease the blow a little. I have cut a lot of my list and some close friends from out of town, but I told them that I cut my entire list and left it with family because it was what I could afford. Try that. If she is a good friend, or understands, she will see your point and not see it as that you don't want her there

AMEN!!! Don’t take this the wrong way, and I am not trying to offend anyone, but ladies these are our Husbands-to-be, grown men, the one day farther of our children. You should be able to trust them to pick out a tuxedo. Did he help you pick out your dress? I am very excited about the fact that I have no idea what my fiancé is wearing to the wedding, only what he has described to me. He took one of the Bridesmaids dresses, grabbed his best friend and off they went! We will both be surprised when we look down the aisle that day and see each other. Besides by letting them handle it, it is just one more thing that you can cross off you to do list!

Jamelle

How do I handle a self invited guest?

I'd love to be able to say that - honestly, I would. I would have & have done pretty much anything for this woman. However - the only times I've ever heard from her in the past 3 years has been whenever she's wanted me to do something for her. Its been a one way relationship.

Besides, she didn't ask for forgivness. She only invited herself to the wedding. There's a big difference.

I'd love nothing more than to assume she's genuine...but I've been burned so many times by her before....I'd hate to be disappointed yet again on one of the most important days of my life.

How do I handle a self invited guest?

I actually did just that. I told her the truth - we are having a relatively small wedding & we've already exceeded our budget and reached room max. occupancy. ( i had to tell my dad no on some family members he wanted to invite - he'd be very upset if she was there and he couldn't invite some of his cousins)

I told her we'd love to see both of them but at a time when we have TIME to spend - I asked her to call me so we could set up a weekend that's good for all of us.

How do I handle a self invited guest?

If that's the case Karen, I would just tell her flat out that you don't feel that you would like her to attend. If there is nothing to lose, then do what you have too. You'll regret it if you don't. Just tell her that you had to cut close friends and some family and that it wouldn't be fair if she came and they were denied. Plain and simple. It's pretty rude in the first place that she is even inviting herself without an invitation

Does anyone know where the bridal building in Manhattan is and where I can get a directory of all the manufacturers?? Help!!

How do I handle a self invited guest?

BE HONEST SHE IS OBVIOUSLY NOT A GOOD ENOUGH FRIEND IF THE RELATIONSHIP WAS ONE WAY /IT IS YOUR DAY AND YOU DON'T NEED ANY EXTRA DRAMA FROM HER AND HER EX / YOU LIKE THE EX SO KEEP HIM. IF ANY OTHER PROBLEMS JUST E-MAIL ME AND I WILL INFORM HER FOR YOU. HAVE A GOOD WEDDING!!!!-CHRIS.

One important note - WHEN THE TIDE IS OUT THAT WHOLE AREA SMELLS LIKE ROTTEN EGGS! : -(

Very nasty - and something important to consider. I always close my window when driving to the airport......