Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by ChristineAE

I just had to add this: (JUST MY HONEST OPINION)

WHAT IS GOING ON????????????????????

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it is a neverending conflict...

how people WOULD feel vs. how they SHOULD feel

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you hit the nail on the head...

thanks girls. I will talk it over with fh and figure out the best thing to do...

and you're all invited to my 'wedding'

that is, if you willing to trek to brooklyn to see it.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by ChristineAE

I just had to add this: (JUST MY HONEST OPINION)

WHAT IS GOING ON????????????????????

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it is a neverending conflict...

how people WOULD feel vs. how they SHOULD feel

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I agree 100%, but when did everyone lose sight of what is most important?

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by ChristineAE

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by ChristineAE

I just had to add this: (JUST MY HONEST OPINION)

WHAT IS GOING ON????????????????????

---

it is a neverending conflict...

how people WOULD feel vs. how they SHOULD feel

---

I agree 100%, but when did everyone lose sight of what is most important?

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Not trying to start drama but Jess asked for opinions and that is what we gave. Whatever she does, like someone said, one person is sure to take offense to it. You cannot please everyone, but Jess, it is your day, do what makes YOU happy

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by ChristineAE

I agree 100%, but when did everyone lose sight of what is most important?

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well that's a whole can a worms you want to open there! (most espeically on a mainly LI wedding message board)

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by ChristineAE

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by ChristineAE

I just had to add this: (JUST MY HONEST OPINION)

WHAT IS GOING ON????????????????????

---

it is a neverending conflict...

how people WOULD feel vs. how they SHOULD feel

---

I agree 100%, but when did everyone lose sight of what is most important?

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Not trying to start drama but Jess asked for opinions and that is what we gave. Whatever she does, like someone said, one person is sure to take offense to it. You cannot please everyone, but Jess, it is your day, do what makes YOU happy

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Let me just state this first: This is not an attack on you and by no means a reaction to your post.

I didn't mean to hijack Jess' post, but I guess it was a 'convo' going on between Laurie and I.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by ChristineAE

I agree 100%, but when did everyone lose sight of what is most important?

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well that's a whole can a worms you want to open there! (most espeically on a mainly LI wedding message board)

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Glad someone's with me on that.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

I can't find anything in writing to back me up (but that doesn't mean I'll stop looking for it) but I believe that etiquette ABSOLUTELY ALLOWS for people to be invited to witness the ceremony and not the reception. As Christine said, the ceremony is the most important part!

Since I was a child I remember going to church with my mom to see her friends' weddings but not the reception. In fact there were a number of people who would have attended my ceremony had it been held in a church, but since it was at the reception location that wasn't possible.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by ChristineAE

I just had to add this: (JUST MY HONEST OPINION)

WHAT IS GOING ON????????????????????

---

it is a neverending conflict...

how people WOULD feel vs. how they SHOULD feel

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TRUE!!!!!

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

Jess- Since they are your FH's family friends from church, how about spreading the word through your FH's family as opposed to sending out actual invitations... I think that would be nice, and Im sure that they would appreciate the refreshments after the ceremony...

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I'd go with this too. I personally would not be offended to be invited to the church only, and I often just show up to see the bride and groom when I have not been invited (neighbors and friends of friends....) But, I think you are going to give yourself a lot of headache by sending invitations out only for the church. I just picture you having to field a lot of phone calls from people who don't understand what is going on, unless this is common at FH's church.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by Johnny&Maur

I have to say...my honest opinion...that I would never invite a guest to the ceremony only, even if there were some sort of a tea to follow....

It is better to not invite someone at all rather than a half way invitation...your intentions are good-but think about the people who would receive a ceremony only invite. They would wonder 'hmmm why is it ok to be at the church but not the reception'. I would think this if it happened to me....all or nothing! Thats my opinion.

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i agree. the intentions are good, but it may cause more problems than it solves.

i am inviting my students, as well as my students from last year who were around when i got engaged. i will go to staples and buy paper. i'll print out an invite to the ceremony with directions and times. their parents are already asking me what time the church is at and where, so i figured i'd just put it on paper. that's what all my colleagues have done.

but i think it's different than adults. these kids are 8. i wouldn't do it if they were adults

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

I know my mom has gotten a few invitations handed to her from people that come into her office and it's just to the church. I don't think there is anything wrong w/ it, if they aren't people that are extremely close to you I dont see why they would be offended

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by SummerBride06

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Posted by Johnny&Maur

I have to say...my honest opinion...that I would never invite a guest to the ceremony only, even if there were some sort of a tea to follow....

It is better to not invite someone at all rather than a half way invitation...your intentions are good-but think about the people who would receive a ceremony only invite. They would wonder 'hmmm why is it ok to be at the church but not the reception'. I would think this if it happened to me....all or nothing! Thats my opinion.

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i agree. the intentions are good, but it may cause more problems than it solves.

but i think it's different than adults. these kids are 8. i wouldn't do it if they were adults

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LOL- my logical thought is that it should be the EXACT opposite...the KIDS should be disappointed, and the ADULTS should know better. funny how things are.

thanks for all of you insights ladies. it has been interesting to see the different takes on this.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by heatherfaith

im sorry I don't want to be negative. But I think I would be offended being only invited to the church. Im sure anyone who knows your getting married can choose to go to the church from hearing from others when the wedding is. For instance a lot of my friends parents who I would have loved to invite but coulnd't afford it are just coming to the church.

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I agree, if people know you are getting married, but aren't invited, they will go to the church if they want to. I wouldn't feel comfortable just inviting people to the church. And the idea of having refreshments is nice, but what about those that are going to the reception. They're going to fill up on snacks and not eat any of the food at the reception.

I think it's a nice thought, but I wouldn't do it.