Mother-in-law problems!

Here's a problem I am currently experiencing.

My fiance's mother-in-law is overwhelming me. She keeps calling trying to schedule time together. I gave in and met her Monday for coffee. She then said "Let me know if you want to go dress shopping. I am free." I said "Greats, thanks. I wil call you."

Last night, I find she leaves me this message about invitations and that she's free on weekends.

This is what you call a problem???

You should have my problems with my FMIL!! As long as you don't have a bad relationship with her, I'd say try to include her in whatever you can. Why not have both moms go along? I think it's great that she wants to be involved. At least she's showing an effort to be interested and to build a healthy relationship with her FDIL. My FMIL is on the other side of the spectrum. She only wants to "get involved" when it is about her. Her dress, her shoes, her musical selections for the dance with her son, etc. Sure, she's had a ton of opinions and suggestions about the wedding, but none of them included any financial backing. I'm never going to have that "warm and fuzzy" feeling about my FMIL. It may seem intrusionary of her to ask herself along to all these things, but it can have some lasting positive effects. I don't know if your fiance has a sister or not, so that may also be her reason for wanting to be so involved. Good luck and much happiness to you and your fiance.

My fiance's mother-in-law is overwhelming me. She keeps calling trying to schedule time together. I gave in and met her Monday for coffee. She then said "Let me know if you want to go dress shopping. I am free." I said "Greats, thanks. I wil call you."

Last night, I find she leaves me this message about invitations and that she's free on weekends.

This is what you call a problem???

I agree with Sharon, Enjoy it!! Some people are not as fortunate as you are to have such a good relationship with your FMIL. I know that some of these wedding moments you would like to be just between you and your mother, but try to include her wherever you can. Try doing a few chores with the both of them, Go with her to do her dress and shoes, this is the beginning or a new relationship for the two of you, it sounds like she is just trying to be included and is very excited about you and her son's commitment to one another..Think of it as a good thing not a problem good luck!!

Jamelle

This is what you call a problem???

I can only say that I WISH! My mother-in-law would get involved. She is 75, while my mom is 59, big difference. My fiance's parents live out east in the country. THey never had big weddings, or anything outside of a restaurant/hall, so it's very hard for me. My FIL to be is 77 and my fiance said he doesn't have to wear a tuxedo! I don't feel he has too, but I think he would be more comfortable since my father will be in one. I think he should ask him. I can't get my in-laws involved at all, so enjoy that. My sister let my mom and her MIL do everything. There was no fighting and my sister had no stress because they did it all! ENJOY IT! TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT! If it's invitations or centerpieces, take her with you, if it's your dress, or more personal things, take your mom.

I agree with Sharon, Enjoy it!! Some people are not as fortunate as you are to have such a good relationship with your FMIL. I know that some of these wedding moments you would like to be just between you and your mother, but try to include her wherever you can. Try doing a few chores with the both of them, Go with her to do her dress and shoes, this is the beginning or a new relationship for the two of you, it sounds like she is just trying to be included and is very excited about you and her son's commitment to one another..Think of it as a good thing not a problem good luck!!

Jamelle

This is what you call a problem???

Okay, I'll take your side Lisa. I agree it's nice that your MIL wants to be involved. My did also at the beginning. I tried to include her whenever possible but it just didn't work out. We definitely have different tastes and no matter what I picked she liked the opposite. My mother & I agree on many things. So it was becoming us against her in many decisions. My solution was to ask her to join us once in a while but know that no decisions were going to be made at that time. After the initial trip with my mother & MIL, I would either go back by myself, with my MOH or my mother and make decisions. Of course, I did not tell my MIL this what I was doing.

My only piece of advice is try not to let it bother you too much. You're going to have to deal with her for the rest of your life. At least that's the advice I'm trying to follow. Good luck!

Jamelle

Mother-in-law problems!

That's a tough one. Maybe your fiance can explain your feelings to her. And maybe you can include her when you feel comfortable doing it. Perhaps she can do something with you and your mother. And then you can all have lunch together.

My only piece of advice is try not to let it bother you too much. You're going to have to deal with her for the rest of your life. At least that's the advice I'm trying to follow. Good luck!

Jamelle

Mother-in-law problems!

Thanks everyone for your feedback.

I guess I was looking at it in only a negative light. I will try to include her in some things but I feel like it might get out of hand. Give an inch...

We'll see.

Mother-in-law problems!

Its is an awkward spot - especially when you're used to doing certain things in a certain way (with your mom). One of the things I've discovered is that many things have changed and will continue to as I adjust to my new role in his family. Its part of the package.

My mom died when I was young and I've been doing this solo. I'm not used to consulting with anyone. My MIL has not offered to do most things (b/c she's sick and can't get around too easily) but I've been very appreciative the feedback I have gotten from her.

Her excitement has been contagous - and she's been very gratelful. All too often the attention is on the brides family and the grooms parents are the the sidelines. It hasn't been all smooth - there have been a few consessions just to make her happy, but nothing that really matters long term.

Mother-in-law problems!

Your last part of the message made me smile. Thanks and I will try to include her in some things.

Thanks!

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