Re: My mom has done it this time -- need lots of hugs.

Elope!! Wow that is so crummy I really feel for you. Keep in mind this is your day and not hers. I give you credit though my mom and I would have had a nasty nasty fight if she acted like this. Worst comes to worst do it yourself. Atleast you can cut all of her and your dads friends off. I hope it works out for you.

Re: My mom has done it this time -- need lots of hugs.

Thank you all for your support.
I have never been such a wreck before.
I have already had to leave my office twice today and run in the bathroom to cry.
My father has tried to call me, but I am tired of this nonsense drama. Six of his FAMILY members (a total of $600) should not cause my mom to be sooo cruel, especially when she is driving around in a fancy car and she has NEVER worked. Why cause me such pain. I will not let her do this.
My FI and I have had a recent convo about maybe getting married on our HM (in Hawaii) and then maybe just having a party when we get back. I already ordered my dress and there are deposits on everything. we have also already sent out STDs but let my mom explain to her buddies why we are not having a wedding. I am so depressed. She has always used her money to control me and since our engagement it has been worse.


I am really thankful for you guys. I don't know what I would do today if I did not read all those kind messages. I feel like I have really lost my mom but I am lucky that there are people that care.

Re: My mom has done it this time -- need lots of hugs.

I think you can do it also....

sorry your going through this..

Re: My mom has done it this time -- need lots of hugs.

You can definately do it. Cut down the list and pay for it yourselves. I wouldn't want your mom paying for it because she is just going to hold it over your head. Tell her that your paying for it and none of her friends are invited I bet she'll change her mind!

Re: My mom has done it this time -- need lots of hugs.

I think you can absolutely do this on your own. I know your mom cares about you otherwise she wouldn't be trying to plan the 'Wedding of her dreams' Its her lifelong dream to see her daughter get married. I am not saying you should forgive what she said but just think about it that way.

I think you and FH can definitely handle paying for this on your own. I am so glad FH and I are paying for this b/c noone has a say of what I can or can't do, and I mean noone. If you are not payin for it then shut your mouth. Your mom should realize that it is your day and not hers and even though she is paying for it you are grown enough to add your input and to be happy about your day.

You and Fh are going to be on your own so why not start now. Tell her that you dont' need the money and that you and FH are going to pay for the wedding. Plus u are getting help. So no biggie dont stress, i know its hard not to do so. But u have already made a good decision. Go for it girl!

Re: My mom has done it this time -- need lots of hugs.

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Posted by LisaJill

Thank you all for your support.
I have never been such a wreck before.
I have already had to leave my office twice today and run in the bathroom to cry.
My father has tried to call me, but I am tired of this nonsense drama. Six of his FAMILY members (a total of $600) should not cause my mom to be sooo cruel, especially when she is driving around in a fancy car and she has NEVER worked. Why cause me such pain. I will not let her do this.
My FI and I have had a recent convo about maybe getting married on our HM (in Hawaii) and then maybe just having a party when we get back. I already ordered my dress and there are deposits on everything. we have also already sent out STDs but let my mom explain to her buddies why we are not having a wedding. I am so depressed. She has always used her money to control me and since our engagement it has been worse.


I am really thankful for you guys. I don't know what I would do today if I did not read all those kind messages. I feel like I have really lost my mom but I am lucky that there are people that care.

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Let things calm down for a bit before you make any decisions, like the other girls said, you can totally pull it off on your own...and I do like your idea of a Hawaii wedding....

Good luck with everything, and stay strong. The best thing you can do is keep DISTANCE from your mother. Make sure she is well aware that you are so hurt.,,,maybe she will wake up and realize how wrong she is.

Re: My mom has done it this time -- need lots of hugs.

wow does your mom know how upset you are??
tell her she is causing trouble with her list...
im really sorry you are going through this...
im dreading my own guest list situation too

Re: My mom has done it this time -- need lots of hugs.

Absolutely!!! You have some help, you'll be fine. DH and I paid for our wedding ourselves. We budgeted and saved and no one told us what we could and couldn't do. You'll be much better off stress free.

Good Luck,
Kelly

Re: My mom has done it this time -- need lots of hugs.

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Posted by TheBigDay

I say add'em anyway, Does she have to know till day of? is she that in control of list you cant plug in those guests when the list is due to the reception hall??? If need be talk to the RH ahead of time and tell them you are paying for those guests seperatly so your mom doenst know ... she'll probably never notice with all that goes on the wedding day

Good luck!

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I totally agree with this... agghh moms these days

your mother will be so concerned with how other things that day (i.e. how many votives are on the table, or are the table linens exactly 3 inches off the ground) that she wont have time to think about who everyone is and how she knows them.

save your money, if she is willing to give it out then take it! but definatly loose the 6000 band, that sounds like a lot of money too me... good luck with everything

Re: My mom has done it this time -- need lots of hugs.

sorry you have to deal with this

you can def. do within your budget.