NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a 'no kid policy' at your wedding?

I need all the advice I can get. My FH and I discussed months ago that we rather not have kids at the wedding besides the 6 children who are in the wedding. I'm a mother of one and do understand the hardships with finding a babysitter or having one cancel last minute.

However, I have attended quite a few 'adult only' weddings and hear that couples have a hard time implementing that rule without negative feedback. I already have one pushy friend that wants to bring her newborn and toddler to the wedding because she's coming from out of state. (although she has family in my state)She has 7 months to figure this out.

I want to stay firm with our decision because I'm afraid if I make accommodations for one, I'll have to accommodate everyone else and their children.

Any advice on how to uphold our 'policy' without hurting anyone's feelings, sounding rude or pissing off family and friends????

Please help!

NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a

I've seen some brides write on their reception card 'While children are a blessing and a joy, we kindly ask that the reception be adult-only' or something along those lines. Friendly, but gets your point across. You may, of course, come across a few people who don't care what you write and will write their whole family of 12 in on the RSVP lol. I put on my reception card '___ seats have been reserved in your honour' which I will fill out before sending them. Then they will fill in '___ number attending'

NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a

Thanks RCotter. I've seen that too and will use your method. However, I received this question after only sending the save the dates. Lol I appreciate my friend trying to plan and organize her travel way ahead of time. However, she was a little pushy and manipulating at the same time.

I have to deal with the 'How come you can't accommodate my kids?' Question before sending out the invitations.

I feel stressed already. :(

Re: NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a 'no kid policy' at your wedding?

jayandkayrob2016 I'm facing this issue too. Well, not so much how to tell them. I plan on putting it on the RSVP card that both the ceremony and reception will be adults only (idc if it's rude lol), but now I had an aunt call my mother and ask what my plans were for child care since I have a lot of family coming from out of state that have little kids. I didn't realize it was my responsibility to find a babysitter... :-P

NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a

Missamerika0803, it's been really tough these last few days. I think some guests assume you're supposed to totally accommodate them and their children. but they fail to understand that it's your day! You want them to spend that day with you and you're feeding them and entertaining as well. Weddings at venues are not cheap! If I were to provide a small babysitting service at the nearest hotel that's extra costs. Honestly, if I had that option, my friend who is complaining will still have a problem with it.

I can't satisfy everyone. I must remind myself of this through out this whole wedding planning. I'm actually feeling stressed for the first time and it's so unfair!

What did you tell your Aunt?

NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a

We had a no kids under 13 rule. My son was the only exception. No one had any issues and I'm so glad I did it.

NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a

I am actually only inviting family with kids. I am making it clear via the invitation that they are or aren't invited with kids. If they ask you about it I'd just be honest. People have to understand that if it's what you want, they have to understand. And typically, people assume their kids are not invited.

Re: NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a 'no kid policy' at your wedding?

jayandkayrob2016 I haven't directly responded to her yet. My mother has taken it upon herself to look into baby sitting services for me but I'm not really concerning myself with it at the moment. I have enough things to worry about without throwing that into the mix too. At the end of the day, the people who truly want to be there will find a way to be there.

Re: NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a 'no kid policy' at your wedding?

You are absolutely right Missamerika0803. I stopped responding to my friend's text messages. I refuse to let her give me stress or try to make me feel guilty like it's her day. So I've just ignored her for now.

NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a

I wish I would have put 'seats reserved in you honor' before I order my invites. I have out of town guest. So how to I tell them. I did just put Mrs.and Mr. I did not put and family. How do I now convey no kids.

Re: NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a 'no kid policy' at your wedding?

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Posted by frang

I wish I would have put 'seats reserved in you honor' before I order my invites. I have out of town guest. So how to I tell them. I did just put Mrs.and Mr. I did not put and family. How do I now convey no kids.

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Unfortunately, you'll need to wait and see how they respond. If they indicate they are bringing more than just the Mr and Mrs that the invitation is addressed to, you have two options - either 1. let them bring the additional people to avoid confrontation, or bring it up to them and let them know that only the 2 adults were invited and that unfortunately it is an adult only reception and there will be no children in attendance.

NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a

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Posted by rcotter90
I put on my reception card '___ seats have been reserved in your honour' which I will fill out before sending them. Then they will fill in '___ number attending'

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Posted by jayandkayrob2016
Thanks RCotter. I've seen that too and will use your method.

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I am also using the reserved seats and filling them in myself approach.
My sister told me to be careful with filling in the number of seats you have reserved for them because a friend of ours had a wedding guest show up with her young child instead of her husband! Therefore she was still complying with the 2 seats rule.
I am using a wedding website and have made it clear on there that it is an adult’s only reception. Hopefully with the Mr. & Mrs. Addressing on the envelope, # of seats reserved being filled in, and a website will give them the hint!

Re: NEED ADVICE: How to tell guests you have a 'no kid policy' at your wedding?

Exactly ncepeda990! Thanks for the info. My wedding website is all done and have that 'adult only reception' language clearly stated on the first page. My invites will be addressed to the names of those invited and to be honest, guest will have to RSVP online which will only have the names of invited guests so there will be no misunderstandings, I hope!

Seems like my friend was just very emotional that I didn't automatically make accommodations for her and her family. I think she's very selfish because she's not the only guest I have coming from out of town with small children. She's offended and I think she's taking her feelings too far. I didn't plan my wedding with the thoughts to just accommodate her and her family. lol