Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

I'm nervous......I don't know if I should or not. If I do, I know that is a sin in the Catholic church, but if I don't, I will be lying. Any experience or advice?

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

good questions, I live with FH, with his parents. When we first reserved date, I was in a different town/different church, so needed to get those release letters from church. Now I live in the same town as church, how do I explain why I don't need letter????

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

I'd be careful - I think they frown on living together before the wedding. I'm not using a church or a priest for the wedding so Im not positive....but I did go to Catholic school and my grandmother and mother are pretty religios.

Im pretty sure it's not something they look very highly on. And I've heard a lot of horror stories about people not being allowed to get married by the Catholic church becuse of different reaaons. Good Luck!

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

There usually aren't any priests at Pre-Cana. It is run by couples who are members of the parish and have been married for a long time. They talk about how to deal with money issues, substance abuse and how to incorporate the church into your marriage...etc.
At my pre-cana they didn't ask any questions, it was more of a personal discussion between me and FH. We had some open discussion but it was more like 'how did you meet' and 'what did you first notice about her/him'.
If, however, there is a priest present I would not mention it....

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

We told our priest and the couple that led the pre-cana - nobody gave us a hard time at all. Nowadays there are so many people that live together before they get married! Maybe it depends on the priest....

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

we are currently going through pre-cana (we graduate on wednesday). the host couple in no way, shape, or form made a big deal about us living together. in our pre-cana group, all 5 couples are living together. when the couple called to confirm our pre-cana, the message they left on the answering machine started with 'hi karen & bob'!!!!! they understand that it is a fact of life and for many reasons couples choose to live together. in one of our discussions we talked about the high cost of living on LI as a factor, too!!!!

from our experience, pre-cana is a lot less 'religious' than people think. we do an opening prayer and that's pretty much the last mention of religion all night. both FI & I are 100% impressed with our pre-cana. all couples should go through it, catholic or not.

good luck!!!

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

I had the same concern

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

We went with the Dont ask, Dont tell policy. They never asked and we never told them.

It didn't seem to matter all that much in my parish...

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

Okay, I admit I lied (I'll probably burn in hell). FH and I live together and when priest asked for our addresses I gave ours and he gave his mom's address (who lives in the same neighborhood). PreCana is usually done by another couple and I don't think the issue should come up.

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

Pre-cana is usually run by married couples. I had 4 couples in my group that are living together and they didn't care about them living together. I would not worry about it.

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

I was very stressed about this...but they never asked us...so we didn't tell them.

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

My DH did & we got frowned upon, yea like no one else does! please!

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

If they don't ask then don't worry about it. If they do ask I would tell the truth.. why should you have to lie to the priest? That sort of is weird, no? I think the Catholic Church is in so much trouble they wouldn't turn away any 'business'- they need the $.

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

I don't know if it's a priest or not that runs pre-cana. I believe that it varies from parish to parish.
I am living with my fiance and if the subject comes up we'll tell the truth but I'm not going to volunteer it.

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

I NEVER lie about stuff like this. When I met with our Priest prior to our marriage I was very, very honest with him about the fact that we lived together and were happy about our decision. Neither of us was ashamed that we lived together so why would we lie? Also, I didn't think that lieing to the man who was going to marry us was anyway to begin our marriage.
If you feel you have to lie, then you should re-think why you are attending pre-cana in the first place.

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

I didn't actually come out and tell the priest but when he took our information down, we had the same address and phone number. He didn't day a word so neither did I.

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

Tell him that you also have an 'open marriage policy' I am sure he will love that!

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

Michele - I don't feel I have to lie...I just wanted to hear what others have done. I won't volunteer the info, but if it comes up I will not lie.

Re: Pre-cana next weekend...do I tell the priest we live together?

We gave the deacon different addresses but when he called the house it said ' leave a message for Nancy and Anthony' so i guess he knows now!! Anthony felt funny about it and thought the deacon was acting weird with him after he left the message but I am sure it was just his guilt! He's weird like that...I could care less if they know or not.

Our pre-cana couple knew and they said they lived together too! I think it just depends on the type of people you get. I think most church people use the 'Don't ask, Don't tell' method.