Protocol for receiving envelopes

I've been to a few weddings where there was a mailbox or a birdcage at the entrance - for guests to put their envelopes so they wouldn't have to worry about them for the rest of the night.

I thought that was creative & wanted to duplicate it...but our parents have said its rude...that the guests should give you their gift and we should thank them personally & hand them the favor (in addition to the written thank you cards).

Does anyone have any thoughts on this matter? I understand our parents position but I'm also concerned about the guests...and, honestly, us losing the envelopes after they give them to us!

Protocol for receiving envelopes

Karen, I have to agree with your parents. I think the bride and groom should personally thank each guest. When I got married, my husband and I made our "rounds" as soon as the wedding started. It went fast and that way we were able to enjoy most of the evening! I hope this helps! Patti

Another cool thing about Fortunoff is that they wrap everything for FREE!!!!

And....how close to your wedding day should the last fitting be?

Protocol for receiving envelopes

Hi Karen! I agree sort of! I will go around and thank my guests, but I think I'm going to put a birdcage or something on a table next to my posters where I'm posting memory cards from our guests (returned with the RSVP's). When people read that, they can drop their envelopes if they wish. You can still put a mailbox up or gift table, etc., and then also make rounds and thank people. I am having a hard time with this, because I'm going to have a hard time taking envelopes from people when I really want to say hello or thank you. I don't want it to seem I'm coming over for money! I hate the thought

Hi...looking to find a beach location. Something smaller and more inimate than Sunken meadow. We'd prefer Suth shore. Having trouble geting permisson. Don't want to be forced to leave mid-ceremony. Already have reception plans elsewhere. Any suggestions? Thanks....Lauren

And....how close to your wedding day should the last fitting be?

Protocol for receiving envelopes

Great idea Kate!!

Hi...looking to find a beach location. Something smaller and more inimate than Sunken meadow. We'd prefer Suth shore. Having trouble geting permisson. Don't want to be forced to leave mid-ceremony. Already have reception plans elsewhere. Any suggestions? Thanks....Lauren

And....how close to your wedding day should the last fitting be?

Protocol for receiving envelopes

Karen - We used a gift bag that my grandmother kept with her all night. She doesn't dance anymore so it was safe ther with her. As guests gave us envelopes, we passed them to her. Actually my SIL and BIL were wonderful. They sort of seemed to always be around and took the envelopes and gave them to my gandmother so we didn't have to!

Hi...looking to find a beach location. Something smaller and more inimate than Sunken meadow. We'd prefer Suth shore. Having trouble geting permisson. Don't want to be forced to leave mid-ceremony. Already have reception plans elsewhere. Any suggestions? Thanks....Lauren

And....how close to your wedding day should the last fitting be?

Protocol for receiving envelopes

I agree with Dorothy....find someone like a grandparent who can hold the bag for you and pass them the envelopes as you receive them. Typically at most weddings people will give the gifts as they leave which works out best so you have already greeted them and said hello and it gives the bride and groom a chance to thank everyone for coming as well as for the gift.

Good luck!

Protocol for receiving envelopes

We have full intention of making the "rounds" and greeting the guests, but we will have a decorated mail box by our table for people to drop the envelopes in. It gives them a choice to either drop it in the box or hand it to us personally. I am sure your guests expect you to visit them throughout the night so if the dont want to drop it in the box they wont. BEST OF LUCK!!

Brendan

Did you bring your dresses to the stores in order to match the color/edging/pattern??? How did you handle it?

Protocol for receiving envelopes

I have something against that birdcage as soon as I walk in a room--dont know why but I do. We made our rounds and Jay put the envelopes inside his jacket, when it filled up we dropped them off at an elderly aunt who guarded the bag with her life LOL. To me there is nothing worse than attending a wedding and never talking to either the bride or groom--better yet, never receiving a thank you. I'm still waiting for one 3 yrs ago-how can you not send thank you's Grrrr!!

Thanks for all the feedback, everyone!

Protocol for receiving envelopes

We could probably all plan this out and guess what, it will never go that way. Just have fun. I want to see each and everyone of my guests, but I feel funny taking envelopes from them. That's what you feel like when you like to give and not recieve. I cry at Christmas because I hate opening presents,but love to give them. I guess that's a personal thing! I want to see my guests individually, but I feel funny taking envelopes. My wedding means soooo much to me to be special. I could care less about gifts. Maybe I'm weird, but my parents divorced when I was 11 years old and this ceremony and marriage and reception mean more to me than any card or money handed to me. It's very important to me to have a wonderful time with my husband to be, my new extended family and having my brothers and sisters with me (5) and, of course, my parents, who are friends NOW! It's a whole different story for me and I could care less if I receive one gift. I am paying for my own wedding with my fiance. I am not having a wedding I cannot afford so it doesn't matter to me.

Good luck!

Thanks for all the feedback, everyone!

Protocol for receiving envelopes

I'd like to think that none of us are throwing a wedding just for the money. Realistically speaking, most gifts will just cover the cost per plate and maybe a little more. Getting those envelopes may not be a big deal for us...but it is for our guests. For all the reasons why you like giving gifts :)

That being said, its important to know how to handle them with care and respect. At my cousin's wedding, I tried to give her the envelope and she was too busy dancing and REFUSED TO TAKE IT!!! She actually told me that she didn't want it! (which i thought was a little rude. i don't give out $150 every day...) As a result, many people threw their envelopes on her table, many had cash - and she never received them. : (

I like the idea of handing them over to a trusted family member - and I have just the right person in mind! Thanks, everyone for all your input!