Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

here's what we did:

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

we are putting both parent's names...

using son of...would be fine

in my case , fils are paying for most of the vendors, and though it is nowhere near what my parents are paying, they are contributing and are somewhat involved i guess...

so we are doing

mr and mrs. ****
and Mr. and Mrs ***
request the honor of ........
their children
***
and ***

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

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Posted by acre730

Wow I'm beginning to feel bad. We just put my parents because I thought it was tradition..and I'm not close with FILs.....and they havent contributed...and most of all I liked it that way...Now I feel bad (especially since it did end up causing drama). If I had to do it again I may have put both

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This is what I am worrying about happening!!

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

Bethsiar, your invites are BEAUTIFUL! I feel like your invite definitely would have been too crowded if you added your FIL's names...

Maxine, I LOVE the font and flourishes on your invites!!!! It is sooo beautiful!!!

I guess I will see how it looks when I get the template / proof...

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

I'll be putting both sets of names on the invites, regardless of who contributes what.

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

A friend of mine who's inlaws contributed exactly 0 and who's parents contributed a large chunk included both sets of parents names on the invite

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

Even though FI parents have contributed not a penny, i am just going to keep the peace

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

I am going to do the 'son of' thing too. They haven't contributed financially yet and I tend to think they won't. Not because they don't want to, but it may not be feasible. What people need to remember is that a marriage brings together two families and NOT two checkbooks. I am taking his name, people should know where it came from. JMO.


Edited to add:
When I mentioned to FMIL that their names would be on the invitation , she said 'but we aren't paying' and I looked at her and said firmly 'YOUR NAMES WILL BE ON THE INVITATION.' She got it and smiled.

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

I'm doing the 'son of...' thing.

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

We started out with a saying..... Because you have shared in their lives by your friendship and love the hohour of your presence is requested at the marraige of........

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

I think if they contributed anything you should probably put them on. I don't know their financial situation, but out of respect I would.

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

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MissingTheBGene: I'll be putting both sets of names on the invites, regardless of who contributes what.

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DITTO. I totally agree with this. I think it is more traditional.

Here's my wording.... a lot of text but they were absolutely beautiful in my opinion.

Love is Meant to be Shared with Family and Friends

MR. AND MRS. BRIDE'S PARENTS
AND
MR. AND MRS. GROOM'S PARENTS

REQUEST THE HONOUR OF YOUR PRESENCEAT THE MARRIAGE OF THEIR CHILDREN

Bride Name & Groom Name

ON FRIDAY, THE FIFTH OF AUGUST
TWO THOUSAND AND FIVE
AT THREE O’CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON
CHURCH NAME
PORT JEFFERSON, NY

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

my FIL's are contributing a small amount and I wanted their names on the invitation. My reasoning was that even if they gave less money than my parents did now, they spent years and years and thousands of dollars raising him throughout childhood and that shouldn't be ignored when their son is getting married. I think too many people think about how much money they gave specifically for the wedding when really they've given thousands over the years and time and effort that is worth more than the money.

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

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Posted by Lauram283

my FIL's are contributing a small amount and I wanted their names on the invitation. My reasoning was that even if they gave less money than my parents did now, they spent years and years and thousands of dollars raising him throughout childhood and that shouldn't be ignored when their son is getting married. I think too many people think about how much money they gave specifically for the wedding when really they've given thousands over the years and time and effort that is worth more than the money.

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HERE! HERE!

Re: Putting Future I.L.'s Names on the Invites?

My parents are paying for the wedding but I had planned to put my FH's mother's name (using son of...) on the invitation. I had proofs done this way and they looked very nice, but unfortunately, my FMIL passed away in March. She was a wonderful woman and I was looking forward to having her as a MIL. It didn't matter to me if she was going to give us any money for the wedding. She raised my FH to be an amazing person and for that I will be eternally grateful. It was a very sad day when I had to take her name off the proofs.

Be grateful for those around you. Don't let money get in the way of family.