Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by Goldi1021

To suppose, is to think something is true but not to be sure. It was my own supposition and NOT a statement of fact. Im done here.

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Ohhhh so its not a fact on how and when and why on how to do it, its just how YOU think its supposed to be- thanks Im glad we got that clarified!

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

This is silly! There's no reason you can't send registry info in a STD, shower invite or even a E-party invite. You've done your registry to make it easier for your guests to get you presents. It's a service to them. Why register if you're not going to tell anyone? My FMIL sent out our E-party invites with registry card- what's the big deal? I won't send out registry info with my STD because most already know. But I put my wedding website on the STD- is that okay? And my website has registry details.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

I only send my registry info with the shower invite

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by BRIDEMICHELE

This is silly! There's no reason you can't send registry info in a STD, shower invite or even a E-party invite. You've done your registry to make it easier for your guests to get you presents. It's a service to them. Why register if you're not going to tell anyone? My FMIL sent out our E-party invites with registry card- what's the big deal? I won't send out registry info with my STD because most already know. But I put my wedding website on the STD- is that okay? And my website has registry details.

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I knew there were more out there that did it too! Its not a big deal at all!!! I think its a good thing. And many many girls do it.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by girlygrl33

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Posted by BRIDEMICHELE

This is silly! There's no reason you can't send registry info in a STD, shower invite or even a E-party invite. You've done your registry to make it easier for your guests to get you presents. It's a service to them. Why register if you're not going to tell anyone? My FMIL sent out our E-party invites with registry card- what's the big deal? I won't send out registry info with my STD because most already know. But I put my wedding website on the STD- is that okay? And my website has registry details.

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I knew there were more out there that did it too! Its not a big deal at all!!! I think its a good thing. And many many girls do it.

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I agree with this too. though I have the feeling TO EACH HIS OWN, and whatever YOU DO PERSONALLY is fine, I think it is HIGHLY UNFAIR to judge people based on what they do. It is the thing I dislike most about these boards...snapping on other women for 'etiquette'

please, like I have said before, I think most girls on these boards would be flipping if someone attended their wedding without a gift, yet it is wrong suggest to people what they could use most- that's ridiculous. 'ignorning the elephant in the room' is what it is.

I think if someone has enough esteem for you to invite you to their wedding, the least you could do is not judge how they chose to do so.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by ssdbk

Why is it ok to send registry info with a shower invite but not with an e-party invite?

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Traditionally the shower is not hosted by the bride. It is what the showers original purpose was for: to 'shower' the bride with gifts. So including registry information is proper etiquette in this case.

However, if you are hosting an event, or reminding guests of your event (ie STD card) etiquette says it is always inappropriate to inlclude registry information. It suggests that having the gift is more important than having the actual guest. It is in poor taste, since gifts at a wedding should never be expected and by including registry information that is basically directing guests to do so.

It is ok to include your wedding website address that would list where you are registered, but just not directly mention the registry on the invite or STD itself. You are assuming your guests do not have the common sense to ask your friends, family and bridal party where you are registered. Statistically yours certainly would not be the first wedding your guests have ever attended - they will be able to locate your registry information on their own.

This is all of course referencing proper etiquette and not practicality. If you could care less about such things, then disregard what is 'proper' and go with what makes sense for you.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

To each his own, but I think it's a little tacky to include registry info w/ STD or engagement party invites....

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by ssdbk

Why is it ok to send registry info with a shower invite but not with an e-party invite?

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Traditionally the shower is not hosted by the bride. It is what the showers original purpose was for: to 'shower' the bride with gifts. So including registry information is proper etiquette in this case.

However, if you are hosting an event, or reminding guests of your event (ie STD card) etiquette says it is always inappropriate to inlclude registry information. It suggests that having the gift is more important than having the actual guest. It is in poor taste, since gifts at a wedding should never be expected and by including registry information that is basically directing guests to do so.

It is ok to include your wedding website address that would list where you are registered, but just not directly mention the registry on the invite or STD itself. You are assuming your guests do not have the common sense to ask your friends, family and bridal party where you are registered. Statistically yours certainly would not be the first wedding your guests have ever attended - they will be able to locate your registry information on their own.

This is all of course referencing proper etiquette and not practicality. If you could care less about such things, then disregard what is 'proper' and go with what makes sense for you.

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I totally agree, perfectly stated!

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by JessicaM.

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Posted by girlygrl33

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Posted by BRIDEMICHELE

This is silly! There's no reason you can't send registry info in a STD, shower invite or even a E-party invite. You've done your registry to make it easier for your guests to get you presents. It's a service to them. Why register if you're not going to tell anyone? My FMIL sent out our E-party invites with registry card- what's the big deal? I won't send out registry info with my STD because most already know. But I put my wedding website on the STD- is that okay? And my website has registry details.

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I knew there were more out there that did it too! Its not a big deal at all!!! I think its a good thing. And many many girls do it.

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I agree with this too. though I have the feeling TO EACH HIS OWN, and whatever YOU DO PERSONALLY is fine, I think it is HIGHLY UNFAIR to judge people based on what they do. It is the thing I dislike most about these boards...snapping on other women for 'etiquette'

please, like I have said before, I think most girls on these boards would be flipping if someone attended their wedding without a gift, yet it is wrong suggest to people what they could use most- that's ridiculous. 'ignorning the elephant in the room' is what it is.

I think if someone has enough esteem for you to invite you to their wedding, the least you could do is not judge how they chose to do so.

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WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!
And for those who are saying its tacky, in a pro piate ,not suppose to and forward- Oh Im sure you guys are just doing everything perfecttttttt and by etiquette, and didnt go outside the box at all!!!

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by steflily

I thought that the registry info shuold not come from the bride. That's why it's sent with the shower invites, since it's not given by the bride.

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YEP!!!!! Hotel and travel info should go with the save the date, it's really tacky to include registry info-it's asking for gifts.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

My opinion: Who cares?

It's 2005 - tradition schamition...ettiqette schmettique.

Sending it out with the STD - no biggie - your guests still have the choice to sending something or not - if they do want to send you something, at least you'll get something you want.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by girlygrl33

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WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!
And for those who are saying its tacky, in a pro piate ,not suppose to and forward- Oh Im sure you guys are just doing everything perfecttttttt and by etiquette, and didnt go outside the box at all!!!

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I hope my wedding will be 'outside of the box'. However, as far as anything regarding gifts, money, etc. I am trying my best to reference 'proper etiquette' in those sitations. But that is just me and I want to clarify again that I am not judging those we choose not to.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by LFitzy79

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Posted by steflily

I thought that the registry info shuold not come from the bride. That's why it's sent with the shower invites, since it's not given by the bride.

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YEP!!!!! Hotel and travel info should go with the save the date, it's really tacky to include registry info-it's asking for gifts.

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I agree. I just don't think anyone should ask for gifts for themselves, in any situation. For a shower someone else is doing the asking and inviting.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

I guess some can have an opinion and others can't.

ETA:

Other people have stated the exact feelings I had. but i guess I had to itemize and define everything for fear of analysis. I'll remember next time. SHAME ON ME!

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by Goldi1021


I guess some can have an opinion and others can't.

ETA:

Other people have stated the exact feelings I had. but i guess I had to itemize and define everything for fear of analysis. I'll remember next time. SHAME ON ME!

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awh! I got your post completely - if that matters. But the Doc is out today (at work) - so I have the itemizing time today!

eta - And I posted mostly in response to the response to your post - if that makes sense!

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by Goldi1021


I guess some can have an opinion and others can't.

ETA:

Other people have stated the exact feelings I had. but i guess I had to itemize and define everything for fear of analysis. I'll remember next time. SHAME ON ME!

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You should never have to explain yourself in detail like that.

Everyone needs to lighten up and realize that we're all entitled to our own opinions.

I love ya!

Not as much as cheese though - sorry.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by ChristineAE

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Posted by Goldi1021


I guess some can have an opinion and others can't.

ETA:

Other people have stated the exact feelings I had. but i guess I had to itemize and define everything for fear of analysis. I'll remember next time. SHAME ON ME!

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You should never have to explain yourself in detail like that.

Everyone needs to lighten up and realize that we're all entitled to our own opinions.

I love ya!

Not as much as cheese though - sorry.

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I totally agree, you shouldn't have to defend your answer, it's your opinion. Including a web address, is completely different from including registry cards.
Also, in my personal opinion-I think that people get sooo defensive about this, because deep down they know that it's tacky.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by LFitzy79

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Posted by steflily

I thought that the registry info shuold not come from the bride. That's why it's sent with the shower invites, since it's not given by the bride.

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YEP!!!!! Hotel and travel info should go with the save the date, it's really tacky to include registry info-it's asking for gifts.

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this is what gets me- not that you wouldn't do it, but that you call others tacky for doing it. that is unfair.

so, sending the registry info is asking for gifts, but the ACT of registering isn't. so, I guess etiquette and logic are not one in the same.

again, I am not knocking anyone for following any particular set of rules ( I myself will not send the registery info) I just think it's cruel to rip someone apart (TACKY is a very hurtful word to associate to someone's taste and style) if they choose NOT to follow them.

I just think we should ALL be giving EACH OTHER a little leeway here.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

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Posted by JessicaM.

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Posted by LFitzy79

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Posted by steflily

I thought that the registry info shuold not come from the bride. That's why it's sent with the shower invites, since it's not given by the bride.

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YEP!!!!! Hotel and travel info should go with the save the date, it's really tacky to include registry info-it's asking for gifts.

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this is what gets me- not that you wouldn't do it, but that you call others tacky for doing it. that is unfair.

so, sending the registry info is asking for gifts, but the ACT of registering isn't. so, I guess etiquette and logic are not one in the same.

again, I am not knocking anyone for following any particular set of rules ( I myself will not send the registery info) I just think it's cruel to rip someone apart (TACKY is a very hurtful word to associate to someone's taste and style) if they choose NOT to follow them.

I just think we should ALL be giving EACH OTHER a little leeway here.

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Alright, I'll agree tacky is a strong word. I think sending registry info might 'put people off a bit'.
I would never include registry info in anything I ever sent to anyone. JMHO.
Someone else posted that it's okay when a shower is given for the bride because the brides doesn't usually know about the shower, they aren't the ones hosting it, it's someone else sending out invite and registry cards. I think that's exactly right.
If it had been sent with an engagement party invite, I would have understood the logic behind it more, it's still not something that I would do-I don't get sending it with the STD.

Re: re-post from BHB: Got a STD in the mail with....

Also, in my personal opinion-I think that people get sooo defensive about this, because deep down they know that it's tacky.


WRONG- its how shallow some of you are being about decisions we made for ourselves!!!!!!!! the topic didnt ask if you thought it was tacky inappropiate or say your not suppose to- she was saying she thought it was forward- which I still disagree on, but that is her opinion.