Re: Serious Dad Dilemma (long...sorry)

I have a similair situation with my Dad...saw him last night for the first time in like 2 years, I could not even come up with the courage to ask for money, so you are braver then me....I would take the money, he is your father and I will take anything my dad offers me....hugs to you, I know how hard it is!!!!!

Re: Serious Dad Dilemma (long...sorry)

I'm sorry he's being so cold and indifferent about the wedding.

I know that a wedding is alot of $$ but if he's not really making an effort to even go, then I am surprised you're upset about him giving you money for it, even when you know he's got it and is not generout with it.

I would perhaps rethink your budget if you can, maybe cut back here and there, if you can and not take the money. A thousand isn't going to make or break you here.

JMO

ETA: just thought of something - if he wants to give you a grand, maybe you should say yes and give it to your mom instead? Just a thought.

Re: Serious Dad Dilemma (long...sorry)

Your mom walking you down the aisle is not 'her doing dad's job' unless you make it that way. It's an honor for someone to walk you down not a responsibility. Both of my parents are walking me down, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Re: Serious Dad Dilemma (long...sorry)

His money is not a factor in our budget. We can afford it ourselves. It's just the fact that this is the last thing I will probably every ask of him as a daughter and he can't chip in and show up. It's really typical of him so I realized shouldn't be a disappointed as I am. It also makes me feel guilty that FH's parents are giving us money when they are not well off either but they won't let us refuse it.

I have decided that mom will walk me down the aisle and I will just invite my dad but no depend on him to be there.

I will take his money as a gift and just accept it for what it is and move on and hope he can at least show up for such a special day in his only child's life.

Re: Serious Dad Dilemma (long...sorry)

Unfortunately, sometimes the people we want to do the most for us only do the least. I would be satisfied with $1000, I'd consider it a large wedding gift, as opposed to a contribution to your wedding day. I personally think it would be a horrible idea to have someone your not close to give you away, thats an important job, it should go to someone who deserves it. However, I would definitly invite him, its your wedding day & you will probably be upset if you didn't invite your father, though you may want to brace yourself that he may not come if hes as big of a jerk as he sounds. I know how hard it is to go thru your wedding planning being enstanged from your father, mine hasn't spoken a civil word to men in 10 years.

Re: Serious Dad Dilemma (long...sorry)

That's a good idea, Monkeybride. It seems like you have a good mindset. I know it's really hard. Your wedding will be beautiful!