Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

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Posted by JCMsGirl05

Maybe what some people don't understand is that there is nothing to resolve. Someone doesn't back out of your wedding this close to it without explaining themselves. And even if they do explain, there is no getting over it and moving on with a friendship.

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Wow, it sounds like you are very hurt by this and are not willing to reason. Life really is too short to be so upset about things and I feel you're missing the biggger picture...I believe in karma and negativity...whatever you put out will come back to you, so try and keep things in perspective and let it go.

I quoted you above to say this...one of my BM's dropped out of my wedding the actual day of my wedding! She did have a very valid reason and because it was my wedding I could have taken a different approach and said 'screw you'...but I didn't...I asked her to be a BM because I wanted her there and as upset as I was because she was angry at me on my wedding day I was able to see things from her point of view. I pleaded with her, apologized and was in tears and she would not budge. Luckily, I married an amazing man and he was able to fix the problem...much to my happiness I saw her once I arrived at the church. And yes, she was tense at first (and so was I) but afterwards she apologized for her behavior and thanked me for being so level headed and allowing her to share in our day. Had this not happened our friendship would have been forever strained and I would have never spoken to her. I'm glad this didn't happen. There are always two sides to every story.

It seems to me like you decided that you don't want her in your life...and that's your choice. However, try not to be so angry about it...it sux, yes, but this is but a small part of your wedding. Try to enjoy the rest of planning and good luck.

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

It's sad that you had someone drop out the day of and I am not even hurt at thispoint, I am just mad. I am glad you were able to let it go, but I cannot. I have already made my changes and figured out what I lost on BP gifts for this person and I just think that I am owed an explanation. I think she knew all along that she was going to back out, but I feel like she waited until her wedding was over to do it. She didn't offer to help with my shower as I found out recently and this is why.

Sad that people can do this especially when they know how muhc planning goes into these affairs.

Obviously she wasn't as good a friend as I thought she was. I am disappointed not in her, but in my own judgement.

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

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Posted by JCMsGirl05

I don't mind the email honestly. I just wish she had done it sooner. All the plans have been made. Now I have to change things and I am stuck with things I ordered for her and I feel like it was more spiteful than anything else.

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The e-mail????? What do you mean the e-mail???? You mean to tell me she told you this via e-mail????? How tacky and impersonal!!!!! At least over the phone, if she lives too far to tell you in person. I think you are handling it very well actually. The money you spent for the BM gift is water under the bridge. What can you do, ya know. I know you don't regret going to her wedding and giving a gift, b/c like you said....you are a friend. And you stick by that.
Obviously you would have been a BM if you were able to. Due to certain circumstances you couldn't. A real friend wouldn't hold that against you. I would talk to her. Communication is the key girl. If you truly vaule her friendship then I just wouldn't throw it in the garbage. Try getting your feelings out (in a nice way) and try to see where she is coming from as well. If you really can care less, then don't put any effort into it and call it a day. You live and learn just like you said!!!

Good luck and GOOD LUCK with the rest of the planning!!!!

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

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Posted by SummerBride06

you really need to sit down with her and talk to her.

if she's on this site, why are you airing her dirty laundry? maybe it's just me, and i totally understand you're upset, but if johnny&maur started bashing her MOH (me) on a thread not only would i be crying my eyes out but i'd be furious that she was writing it without talking with me first.

with that said, best of luck to you both. hopefully you can save your friendship. you both asked each other to be in your weddings for a reason, hopefully you can still be friends

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Summerbride06 ..... U always say the nicest things!!!

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

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Posted by Love_my_Freddybear

The e-mail????? What do you mean the e-mail???? You mean to tell me she told you this via e-mail????? How tacky and impersonal!!!!!

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Let's remember that we only know one side of the story before we throw out judgements like that. I know I personally have been so angry and hurt that an e-mail was the only way I could communicate....but again..I can't assume that's the reason because I don't know the whole story.

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

I did nothing to hurt her. I did what a friend should do. I was there for her wedding and her shower and offered my help countless times. I don't care that it was an email, just that she did this at all is bothersome to me. We had just talked online a day or two before and she seemed just fine.

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

i've found that when something is bothering someone they could be quiet. but to air all this is wrong. u said that she's a member of the site. do u think this could be hurting her more. everyone's feelings are getting hurt in this. since u severed the friendship, u should just let this go

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

I did nothing to her in this. She was the hurtful one here. The truth hurts and you are right, reading this probably does hurt her.

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

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Posted by Happybride2005

i've found that when something is bothering someone they could be quiet. but to air all this is wrong. u said that she's a member of the site. do u think this could be hurting her more. everyone's feelings are getting hurt in this. since u severed the friendship, u should just let this go

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I could not agree more!! Very well said Gail. This is getting ridiculous. If you have a problem with her then talk to her. It's like high school where you try to get people to take sides. It always ends in bad feelings, broken friendships and more unhappiness. Not to minimize your feelings but you have gone well past the situation now with the constant 'I didn't do anything wrong.' It would appear that your intentions are to cause a problem...you're hurt and you want to hurt her. It seems like you are fishing to have people say poor you and bad her. You can't completely expect that because people refuse to take sides...especially after you mentioned she was on this site. For all anyone knows it could be me...and the girls on this site know better than to jump to conclusions about me...they would know it must be something major for me to back out. I agree with Gail...let it go and you'll be better off for it. JMO

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

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Posted by JCMsGirl05

I did nothing to her in this. She was the hurtful one here. The truth hurts and you are right, reading this probably does hurt her.

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we've only heard one side. there's 3 sides 2 a story...your side, her side and the true side. i think what would help u both is if the thread would stop

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

If I was asking people to take sides, then I would mention her name. You know who she is Ang and she is your friend which is why you are getting involved at all, right?

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

That really stinks that she had to drop out of the wedding, but maybe she had a good reason? Like a previous poster said, it could be worse it could have been the day of. I don't really see as being such a big deal. You have time to return her BM gift. What other things have you spent $$ on for her? I am sure it is an inconvenience to her too b/c as you said she already paid for her dress. I think you should talk to her, it sounds like something is going on

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

You can't return personalized and special order items, thats what bothers me. Had she done this earlier, I would not have ordered hers. Whatever....It's done now and so am I.

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

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Posted by JCMsGirl05

If I was asking people to take sides, then I would mention her name. You know who she is Ang and she is your friend which is why you are getting involved at all, right?

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I have made a lot of good friends on this site and would never let anyone go on and on for three pages without saying something. Liz, let's not forget the various other problems you have had with people here. I recall not too long ago that you got into something with someone else. I call them like I see them. You are going on and on about this person meanwhile it's just your side. All I have said is let it go or take the initiative to solve it. YOU are the one who mentioned that she was also on this site - why? I personally get the impression that you are continuously trying to make this bigger and bigger. Hence why you always have to have the last word. Let it go.

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

I just think it is flat out mean of you to put this post up about a girl on this site. You are only telling one side and to publically bash this bride on a site she will read is just nasty. I would think that if you were ever friends at all, you would have an ounce of decency and dignity somewhere in you not to behave that way.

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

I agree - to post a thread about another bride on here is pretty low. We don't know the whole story and you dropped out of her wedding...what do you expect? For it to be all roses and sunshine? She was probably very upset as well.

My suggestion would be to stop playing games and call her and discuss what happened and not be posting about her knowing she will read it.

And I too remember when you made fun of another 05 bride and called the 05 brides 'fake' so you will be getting no sympathy from me. Always remember - what goes around comes around.

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

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Posted by Ang&Rich

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Posted by Love_my_Freddybear

The e-mail????? What do you mean the e-mail???? You mean to tell me she told you this via e-mail????? How tacky and impersonal!!!!!

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Let's remember that we only know one side of the story before we throw out judgements like that. I know I personally have been so angry and hurt that an e-mail was the only way I could communicate....but again..I can't assume that's the reason because I don't know the whole story.

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oh you are oh SO right. When I originally posted that, I only had read the initial post!!!!

Why am I taking time out to even made this thread go on to 4 pages??? I have no clue!!! BUT, I do want to say this, LIFe can be SO much worse!!! Life is SO much worse as a matter of fact. I know this has nothing to do with it, but turn your TV to CNN ( Killer Katrina) That's mad! That's sad! That's hurt!!!!

Yes, you have your own feelings and right now, you're mad!!! SO be it!! Even though there is another side of the story, you are STILL entitled to be as mad as you wanna be!!!
But HELLO???? We have a wedding to concentrate on!
Ok so lets say it was out of spite, (cause that's how you feel) WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE!!!!
Let me tell you something, I called off an entire wedding 4 weeks before I was sopposed to walk down that isle. Ya know how much money I lost b/c I changed my mind? A lot. And I am no where near rich. I am closer to poor. But my happiness is priceless!!! So you will live after loosing the BM gifts that you spent money for. I know, I know, it just PISSES you off. In time, you'll cool off.

Whoever decides to drop out of my wedding the second of... so be it! As long as I have my daughter and myself and my FH waiting for me at the end of the isle... I am one happy bride!!! This day is all about you and your FH. Everyone else just plays a part. No matter how close and dear they are to us, the most important thing is you and him!!!

One day when you are cooled off and time has passed (the same goes with her) maybe you can deal with this. Maybe not. But girl, like I said in the beginning, life is so much worst than this. This, right here, it's petty. You have every right to feel every emotion that you are feeling. But don't drag it out anymore. It's petty compared to many other things that can go wrong.

Good luck girl and I hope everything works out for you. You deserve to be happy!!! We all do!!!

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

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Posted by KimberlyBride

I agree - to post a thread about another bride on here is pretty low. We don't know the whole story and you dropped out of her wedding...what do you expect? For it to be all roses and sunshine? She was probably very upset as well.

My suggestion would be to stop playing games and call her and discuss what happened and not be posting about her knowing she will read it.

And I too remember when you made fun of another 05 bride and called the 05 brides 'fake' so you will be getting no sympathy from me. Always remember - what goes around comes around.

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She said she gave enough notice before she dropped out of hers. I am not taking sides and would never, b/c I have enough on my own plate outside of LIW!!! I think you can agree that this has gone way too far. I consider us all adults here, I would confront my friend in an adult and mature manner. Even if I was pissed as h*ll!!! I would just wait until I cooled off some, cause it's better to wait it out than to react liek a mad women. That's when we do things that we will regret later!!!
The only way to reslove anything in life is communication!!! ok let's change the subject, cause this is just getting out of hand.

3 MORE MONTHS BABY!!!!!!!!!!! WHOO HOO!!!!
I CAN'T FRIGIN WAIT!!!!!!

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

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Posted by MasticBride1209

i cant believe this is still going on. is that what this site is about? I know I'm new but I thought it was about womaen being happy and helping each other out? Am I wrong?

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This is life !! Things like this happen. We talk about all sorts of things on this site. It is not for the overly-sensitive IMO

Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT

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Posted by JCMsGirl05

Maybe what some people don't understand is that there is nothing to resolve. Someone doesn't back out of your wedding this close to it without explaining themselves. And even if they do explain, there is no getting over it and moving on with a friendship. If I had screwed her over this close to her wedding then I would say its just payback, but I was there for her and did what I had to do as her friend since I was unable to be in her BP. As far as this person being a member on this site, I think it just makes it worse that she would do this, knowing very well how much work a wedding is to put together.

We will not be sitting down to talk this out.

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OK, now I have to agree with the other girls. If you do not want to sit and talk this out (at least to tell her how you feel) then why even post this. I was on your side in the beginning but this is getting out of hand...JMHO