Re: PSA for brides

Wow....believe me the hair and make up is a GIFT....we are paying alot of money for it and the girls really appreciate it. If they dont want it done, thats up to them. I wouldn't expect more than I give in a gift. People have different circumstances and sometimes can only give what they have. We all understand that we are not getting married to make money! I agree with the splittingup couples but I dont know why that happened. Oh well.

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by wp2006

whatever, it's costing me over $1,000 to be in this wedding party - bride INSISTED on a resturant shower with 50+ guests. INSISTED on a weekend away bachelorette. INSISTED on expensive dress and particular shoes and particular hair pieces.
And you know what, ok I will show up at 8 am for your 4:00 pm wedding and I will endure getting driven 3 counties away to teh reception and then BEING STRANDED because hte couple is only providing transporttion THERE, not back. And I will have a stranger do my ahir & make up.

But I want a 'thank you' not a 'don't you date be late!' and I don't think I was a snob to ask about lunch, since I'll be tied up doing gosh knows what for 8 hours before dinner is served.

It's only a wedding, get over yourselves. the wedding is icing, it's nothing. it's a perk. The important thing is the marriage, so brides need to get over themselves with the 'perfect wedding' idea.

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Yes your friend was being a little eager, but you could have easily said something to her. Lunch? Where in your first post did you mention lunch? And yes, she should feed you. And yes to YOU it may only be a wedding but remember you're not the one getting married. Its different for the people getting married than it is for the people in the wedding party. And not all of us are caught up in the 'perfect wedding' idea as you seem to think we are. I want a fun day with my friends and family. I understand things are going to happen and that's ok because I see the bigger picture, I'm marrying one of my best-friends and THAT is what the day is all about. Everything else is a bonus.

Re: PSA for brides

Although your delivery isn't so great, I think you provide an interesting perspective.

Re: PSA for brides

Maybe if u were told u had to be , then maybe you dont know your friend too well, I mean if she Making u be a bm & making u spend money , evidently u dont know how to say no , , I mean we all know our friends & the ones we choose to be in our wp the day of , well they have usualy been our dear feinds for life. Thats jmo, why in the world would you have said yes then ,

& if u have that kinda animosty towrads her, if u so choose not to be in her wp , for fear of losing her as a friend, then whats the point if having a frinedhsip anyways,,


I mean & not for nothing , all the grils here are trying to have a happy marriage planning things, ya knwo the 'icing' you so called it.. We didnt create a screen name just to vent about being frodced into something . Your prifle has the moh of hater , i mean really ,

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by wp2006

oh and I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid. i was told I would be (with a not imagined implication that if I declined, we would no longer be friends).

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If that was me, and a friend DEMANDED such a 'task' from me, I'd reconsider the friendship, and yes, I would lose that person as a friend.

Re: PSA for brides

'Wow....believe me the hair and make up is a GIFT....we are paying alot of money for it and the girls really appreciate it. If they dont want it done, thats up to them.'

It's not up to me. i was told I AM to show up at 8 am for a 4:00 pm wedding. i was told I MUST get my hair & make up done. These were not 'oh if you'd like I'll pay for...' no this was 'this is the timeline, this is where you will be, this is what you are having done to you. Deal with it.'

So it IS putting me out. And it is NOT a gift.

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by itslaurie.

Although your delivery isn't so great, I think you provide an interesting perspective.

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I agree that you bought up some valid points that I certainly agree with, but your delivery needs work.

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by wp2006

'Wow....believe me the hair and make up is a GIFT....we are paying alot of money for it and the girls really appreciate it. If they dont want it done, thats up to them.'

It's not up to me. i was told I AM to show up at 8 am for a 4:00 pm wedding. i was told I MUST get my hair & make up done. These were not 'oh if you'd like I'll pay for...' no this was 'this is the timeline, this is where you will be, this is what you are having done to you. Deal with it.'

So it IS putting me out. And it is NOT a gift.

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Maybe u need to tell your friend all this stuff instead of creating a account on LIW ..

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by wp2006

oh and I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid. i was told I would be (with a not imagined implication that if I declined, we
would no longer be friends).

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Obviously this chick is not worth your friendship. She actually told you if you declined she would not be your friend anymore? That's BALLSY and mean.

Come on girls, we did not know the WHOLE story. Now we know why she feels this way... b/c of her controlling and manipulative friend.

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by tonimike

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Posted by wp2006

'Wow....believe me the hair and make up is a GIFT....we are paying alot of money for it and the girls really appreciate it. If they dont want it done, thats up to them.'

It's not up to me. i was told I AM to show up at 8 am for a 4:00 pm wedding. i was told I MUST get my hair & make up done. These were not 'oh if you'd like I'll pay for...' no this was 'this is the timeline, this is where you will be, this is what you are having done to you. Deal with it.'

So it IS putting me out. And it is NOT a gift.

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Maybe u need to tell your friend all this stuff instead of creating a account on LIW ..

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I agree! Maybe that is something you should Bring up with her.......

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by wp2006

whatever, it's costing me over $1,000 to be in this wedding party - bride INSISTED on a resturant shower with 50+ guests. INSISTED on a weekend away bachelorette. INSISTED on expensive dress and particular shoes and particular hair pieces.
And you know what, ok I will show up at 8 am for your 4:00 pm wedding and I will endure getting driven 3 counties away to the reception and then BEING STRANDED because the couple is only providing transporttion THERE, not back. And I will have a stranger do my ahir & make up.

But I want a 'thank you' not a 'don't you date be late!' and I don't think I was a snob to ask about lunch, since I'll be tied up doing gosh knows what for 8 hours before dinner is served.

It's only a wedding, get over yourselves. the wedding is icing, it's nothing. it's a perk. The important thing is the marriage, so brides need to get over themselves with the 'perfect wedding' idea.

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YOU my dear need to GET OVER YOURSELF! The wedding is about the BRIDE and the GROOM and the beginning of their life together........Not about YOU and your 'inconvieniences' of the day. If you have such a problem with her requests than maybe you should or should have backed out gracefully instead of doing what you are doing on here BEHIND her back. She OBVIOUSLY made a HUGE mistake by asking you to be in the wedding party. Every bride has their wants and wishes and you seem to think that HER wedding should go as YOU want it to be. How would you fell if one of YOUR bridesmaids did this to you.

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by tonimike

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Posted by wp2006

'Wow....believe me the hair and make up is a GIFT....we are paying alot of money for it and the girls really appreciate it. If they dont want it done, thats up to them.'

It's not up to me. i was told I AM to show up at 8 am for a 4:00 pm wedding. i was told I MUST get my hair & make up done. These were not 'oh if you'd like I'll pay for...' no this was 'this is the timeline, this is where you will be, this is what you are having done to you. Deal with it.'

So it IS putting me out. And it is NOT a gift.

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Maybe u need to tell your friend all this stuff instead of creating a account on LIW ..

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I agree .. tell your friend how you feel, if she does not like it then TOO BAD.

Re: PSA for brides

First of all....I am not taking anyone's side

but My MOH is in another wedding prior to mine.

Honestly, I do feel for her. the bride's MOH is running the show, calling all the shots and just tell the other BM to pay equally. They are not included in the decisions. She is not happy but does not want the bride to be trapped in the drama.

Results: a lot of the girls in the BP are not attending the bach. party. The MOH wants to do a whole weekend get away. That's $$$$ for a lot of girls on top of the shower, dress, shoes, make-up and hair. Some BM have kids, buying a house, etc..

Of course, we accept the role and responsibility of being in the BP but I that I think there should be a happy medium. You really don't know when you say yes how much it is going to cost. $500, $1000, $2000?

Did anyone of you every thought enough is enough and think the bride, other BMs are being out of control?

I was never in that situation.

Just wondering!

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by ChrissynRicky

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Posted by wp2006

oh and I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid. i was told I would be (with a not imagined implication that if I declined, we would no longer be friends).

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If that was me, and a friend DEMANDED such a 'task' from me, I'd reconsider the friendship, and yes, I would lose that person as a friend.

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EXACTLY

Re: PSA for brides

Not all brides do that to their bridesmaids, so maybe you should take this up with your so called friend. I'm in the same situation, but I am sucking it up to be in a wedding in a couple of months, PLUS doing my own wedding.

You were told to be in the wedding, so if you are so furious about the issue, why don't you talk to this girl and confront her about it, not us.

Re: PSA for brides

Obviously your friend does not know how you feel. She evidentally for some reason wanted you in her bridal party and hoped that you would be as eager and excited for her as she is. It was important to her to have you as a big part of the big day. Maybe that was a little overzealous of her but I think if you talked to her and she knew how you felt she would back down. What you are doing now is just whiny and manipulative. Fix the problem, don't complain about it to a bunch of strangers. And it was a CHOICE to be in the bridal party.

Re: PSA for brides

So you all, as brides, really think that I shoudl approach the bride, NOW inteh 11th hour (wedding in less than 2 weeks) with these concerns?

You think that would be appropriate?
You don't think that would maybe be stress she doesn't need right now?

These were [mostly] not issues back a few months out when I could have gracefully declined. if I back out now, she needs to reconfigure her procession, her seating, her everything.

So I decided to vent ina nuetral place while also letting brides in on how actions appear to others.

it;s JUST a wedding.

And while maybe htis experience is showing I shouldn't be friends with her in general, i somehow thing now, during her stressing, is not the appropriate or mature time to break off being friends.

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by wp2006

oh and I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid. i was told I would be (with a not imagined implication that if I declined, we would no longer be friends).

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My thoughts are, maybe you should consider backing out. If she is 'telling' you that you HAVE to be in her bridal party the maybe she isn't the best of friends. Also, considering all of the things you have said on this site, I would reconsider having you as my friend. I would rather my friend tell me how she was feeling to my face. I wouldn't want people to get ready with me, take pics, and be a part of my wedding cermony if they aren't truely happy for FH and I. I want those who LOVE and CARE about FH and I to be in my wedding...not those who are only doing it out of obligation.

Re: PSA for brides

Let me get this straight??
Your in this wedding in 2 weeks. So you mustve said yes a while ago, therefore for sometime now u must have seen or realized how she has been, bossy or whatever. Why are you waiitng last minute to complain,,

& i didnt say not to vent go right ahead , but to create a account in LIW , which is maily about us girls gettign married & come on here sayin how terribel it is to be a BM , as bad as u are descibing it it seems like its a isolated incident & that you should know your friend & shold have know she would be this demanding..

JMO

Re: PSA for brides

It may be JUST a wedding to you, but to her, these things are important. Perhaps you shouldn't have waited till 2 weeks before the wedding to have all this build up inside of you.

I told my bridesmaids to come to me with any issues before they got all worked up about it.

You seem like the type of person that would have said something at the time when the problems arose.

Maybe you should, in a calm way, talk to your friend if these are problems for you. Friends are supposed to do that, you know.