PSA for brides

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Posted by RadioLau

I think there are some people out there that need to respectfully decline when asked to be a member of a bridal party. You were a choice and it is your choice to say no.

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i agree!!!!

2 months ago I told her (nicely) that no under no circumstances would I show up at 6 am to have my hair & make up done & get ready. She said fine. She only *just* told us, now it's 8:00. I explained the situation, she agreed. She thinks she made a HUGE concession to push it to 8. (oh and she is providing breakfast, but no lunch as she doesn't want our breath to smell for her ceremony. Dinner won't be until about 7:30/8 pm)

I did make a point about the cost of the shower and bachelorette parties at the time. She pulled a fit about the guys were going away so she shoudl get to. She said her mother was insisting on the huge shower invite list. She has lots of excuses.

I did discuss the stranding us at the reception, months ago. She shrugged, said she'd come up with asolution, and then DIDN'T.

I'm complaining now, because as it gets closer, she is increasingly putting the pressure on us.

Okay

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Posted by wp2006

So you all, as brides, really think that I should approach the bride, NOW inteh 11th hour (wedding in less than 2 weeks) with these concerns?

You think that would be appropriate?
You don't think that would maybe be stress she doesn't need right now?

These were [mostly] not issues back a few months out when I could have gracefully declined. if I back out now, she needs to reconfigure her procession, her seating, her everything.

So I decided to vent ina nuetral place while also letting brides in on how actions appear to others.

it;s JUST a wedding.

And while maybe htis experience is showing I shouldn't be friends with her in general, i somehow thing now, during her stressing, is not the appropriate or mature time to break off being friends.

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yes.

you have made it clear what an imposition her wedding is to you. if that is the case, wash your hands clean of it now and move on.

if it's 'just a wedding' why do you suddenly care if she has to reconfigure a darn thing? if she really insisted on you being a BM in the first place 'or else' then clearly she isn't the best of friends to begin with. it's also quite possible that her timeline really is 8am and that's that.

and HE LL yes, it's a freakin' gift if she pays for your hair/makeup....that stuff adds up. I wish i could pay for my girls so that they could all get it done...but i can't and so most have opted not to. i bought one of my BMs dress so that she could be in the BP without straining herself too much. she just so happened to email me yesterday to say 'thanks so much for the gift of my dress so that i can more easily attend and be in your wedding.'

honestly, if you are this worked up over it, you should drop from the wedding and cut your losses...after all, that's how she insisted you be in the wedding to begin with or else not be friends any more. maybe it's time to call her bluff. worse things have happened to brides than a BM dropping out at the last minute.

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Posted by tonimike

Let me get this straight??
Your in this wedding in 2 weeks. So you mustve said yes a while ago, therefore for sometime now u must have seen or realized how she has been, bossy or whatever. Why are you waiitng last minute to complain,,

& i didnt say not to vent go right ahead , but to create a account in LIW , which is maily about us girls gettign married & come on here sayin how terribel it is to be a BM , as bad as u are descibing it it seems like its a isolated incident & that you should know your friend & shold have know she would be this demanding..

JMO

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You have good points here Toni... She obviously does not have anyone to vent this to so she came on here..She really should have told her friend how she felt way back when she was 'told' she would be demanded of all these things.

I guess I just don't understand why complaining on LIW is helping anything.

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Posted by wp2006

So you all, as brides, really think that I shoudl approach the bride, NOW inteh 11th hour (wedding in less than 2 weeks) with these concerns?

You think that would be appropriate?
You don't think that would maybe be stress she doesn't need right now?

These were [mostly] not issues back a few months out when I could have gracefully declined. if I back out now, she needs to reconfigure her procession, her seating, her everything.

So I decided to vent ina nuetral place while also letting brides in on how actions appear to others.

it;s JUST a wedding.

And while maybe htis experience is showing I shouldn't be friends with her in general, i somehow thing now, during her stressing, is not the appropriate or mature time to break off being friends.

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interesting you sound like one of my 'old' friends.
Do her a favor and break off the friendship now. im sure her day will be more ruined when she sees her 'old' friend in all of her wedding pictures.

It is funny how your 'friend' is being so inconsiderate, and now you feel the need to be just as inconsiderate to a bunch of happy brides that don't even know you.

Do something about the problem, don't wallow in it.

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Posted by RadioLau

I guess I just don't understand why complaining on LIW is helping anything.

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It's not its just causing more negative BS .... really. The issue needs to be taken up with the person that's causing her issues that she has.

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Posted by RadioLau

I guess I just don't understand why complaining on LIW is helping anything.

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couldn't this same sentiment be applied towards a large percentage of the posts on this entire website?

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by RadioLau

I guess I just don't understand why complaining on LIW is helping anything.

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couldn't this same sentiment be applied towards a large percentage of the posts on this entire website?

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Well in this case something someone else did is being directed at us instead of the right person(her friend) which makes it annoying.

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Posted by JennandPhil827

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by RadioLau

I guess I just don't understand why complaining on LIW is helping anything.

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couldn't this same sentiment be applied towards a large percentage of the posts on this entire website?

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Well in this case something someone else did is being directed at us instead of the right person(her friend) which makes it annoying.

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WELL SAID!!

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Posted by JennandPhil827

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by RadioLau

I guess I just don't understand why complaining on LIW is helping anything.

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couldn't this same sentiment be applied towards a large percentage of the posts on this entire website?

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Well in this case something someone else did is being directed at us instead of the right person(her friend) which makes it annoying.

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i dont think she is directing it at us. she is just venting, god knows why she is doing it here, perhaps the bride is on this site and she secretly hopes she find out. just ignore it.

and as someone said she does make valid points, but the delivery is wrong. if you agree with the basic idea of what she is saying, then try to NOT be like the bride she is complaining about.

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Posted by klingklang77

perhaps the bride is on this site and she secretly hopes she find out

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right-o on that one...

QUICK EVERYONE start analizing if it's YOU!!!

well it ain't me.

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Posted by neener1211

It is funny how your 'friend' is being so inconsiderate, and now you feel the need to be just as inconsiderate to a bunch of happy brides that don't even know you.

Do something about the problem, don't wallow in it.

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totally agree. you are an adult, take care of it yourself. if you were an active member on here i could see being upset about it and needing the time to vent-- but some of the statements are not being said about whoever this bride is personally but more as general statements and it could hurt the feelings (and probably is) of other brides on here and that's not right.
take it up with your 'friend' and if she is that bad get rid of her as a friend!! we are all women and i'm SURE we have all had a $hitty friend along the way in our lives-- nip it in the bud and get her out of your life, JMO.