Re: PSA for brides

thanks ladies for the entertainment but seriously though I'd have to agree with this statement overall. . . . .

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Posted by itslaurie.

Although your delivery isn't so great, I think you provide an interesting perspective.

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This could have been an interesting debate, as you do have some valid points and concerns (as this is an OPEN forum), but had you presented your argument in a less berating manner you might have actually gotten somewhere instead of being bashed and threatened with violence

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by smara

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Posted by RadioLau

Maybe we could have a debate here. The bride in one corner and the disgruntled bridesmaid in the other corner. An LIW showdown!!

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Lets get Readdyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to Ruuuuuuuuuumble

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Now I have that song in my head....

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by 2Be1

thanks ladies for the entertainment but seriously though I'd have to agree with this statement overall. . . . .

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Posted by itslaurie.

Although your delivery isn't so great, I think you provide an interesting perspective.

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This could have been an interesting debate, as you do have some valid points and concerns (as this is an OPEN forum), but had you presented your argument in a less berating manner you might have actually gotten somewhere instead of being bashed and threatened with violence

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I agree! I am constantly thinking of ways to make my girls happier, make it cheaper, and make it a pleasant experience for them. Im not pulling the whole 'its my wedding and I want it MY way' because if they aren't enjoying themselves, I wont either. That being said, its hard to take suggestions seriously when they are being said in such a nasty way!

Re: PSA for brides

Lets get Readdyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to Ruuuuuuuuuumble

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great post!

Re: PSA for brides

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by wp2006

yes my wedding was just a party. Was it big? yes (in terms of my life)
Was it expensive? sure
did it stress me? yup

But my focus was on creating an atmosphere of joy & love and fun. it was about a CELEBRATION, in other words, yes it was just a party.
This wedding is about photos and impressions and showing up others.

As for splitting up couples, I mean married couples - both in WP, walking with others down the aisle because one is best man but his wife is 'only' a BM. And splitting up [married & engaged] couples so they sit at different tables and have to take photos with, and [have to] dance with their match up instead of their spouse [or date].

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I had to split up a BM and her hubby who was best man. It wasn't a big deal to anyone. My bridesmaid and her hubby sat at the same dinner table all night; it's just that her hubby walked down the aisle with my sis (MOH).

My DH will probably be asked to be one of his friend's groomsmen and will likely end up escorting his EX-girlfriend down the aisle (who he dated after we broke up). But you know, I don't care one bit. He's married to me and however his friend's FW chooses to pair up her gm & bm is fine with me. I would be angry if he didn't sit next to me at the reception though.

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by 2Be1

thanks ladies for the entertainment but seriously though I'd have to agree with this statement overall. . . . .

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Posted by itslaurie.

Although your delivery isn't so great, I think you provide an interesting perspective.

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This could have been an interesting debate, as you do have some valid points and concerns (as this is an OPEN forum), but had you presented your argument in a less berating manner you might have actually gotten somewhere instead of being bashed and threatened with violence

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Well said. I don't disagree that there are some slightly valid things that could be gleaned from the original poster. However, I wouldn't consider accepting to be in a bridal party where they said 'If you're not in it, you're not really my friend' That right there says they're not really your friend. Since we only have the one side of the story, it's hard to see if this 'bridezilla' really is that bad. I mean really, would ANYONE actually say 'I'm not feeding you because your breath will smell?' Do you HAVE to eat the lamb souvlaki or could you just go with maybe a buttered roll? (that last part was for my Bridentologists. Go light me a candle now)

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

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Posted by wp2006

2 months ago I told her (nicely) that no under no circumstances would I show up at 6 am to have my hair & make up done & get ready. She said fine. She only *just* told us, now it's 8:00. I explained the situation, she agreed. She thinks she made a HUGE concession to push it to 8. (oh and she is providing breakfast, but no lunch as she doesn't want our breath to smell for her ceremony. Dinner won't be until about 7:30/8 pm)

I did make a point about the cost of the shower and bachelorette parties at the time. She pulled a fit about the guys were going away so she shoudl get to. She said her mother was insisting on the huge shower invite list. She has lots of excuses.

I did discuss the stranding us at the reception, months ago. She shrugged, said she'd come up with asolution, and then DIDN'T.

I'm complaining now, because as it gets closer, she is increasingly putting the pressure on us.

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I'm sorry, but she's refusing you lunch because she doesn't want your breath to smell for her ceremony? That's one of the funniest things I ever heard. She's the one that needs to say her vows; it's not like the bridal party has to say anything. If I was you, I'd be peeved over that also. This coming from someone who just got married herself 3 weeks ago. I would never justify starving my BM's for fear that their breath would smell. LOL.

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I actually thought this was funny too-- and scientifically, at least to my knowledge, your breath smells more when you don't eat-- it's that yucky bad breath smell-- I mean for god sakes, you don't need to feed the girls tuna fish and onions, but some food!

Re: PSA for brides

im going out on a limb here..
i agree with the original poster..
and i tried to respect her ideas, which are also my beliefs, in my own wedding

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by Preshy7

im going out on a limb here..
i agree with the original poster..
and i tried to respect her ideas, which are also my beliefs, in my own wedding

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I don't think you are 'out on a limb.' If what the OP said is true, then I, too, would be uncomfortable about being part of that particular BP. I had only one attendant, and was the opposite--she kept asking me if there were things she could do to be MORE involved.

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by Preshy7

im going out on a limb here..
i agree with the original poster..
and i tried to respect her ideas, which are also my beliefs, in my own wedding

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Brave soul... going against us..

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by Preshy7

im going out on a limb here..
i agree with the original poster..
and i tried to respect her ideas, which are also my beliefs, in my own wedding

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I agree to come extent too but not with everything... When u agree to be in a wedding htem u know you are taking on some responsabilities..
I try to do anything to make my girls happy but i know they dont want thier pics being taken without thier hair and makeup done sooo i am offering it. they do not have to take it.. the oerson with b there at their disposale if they want to use them...
then as far as gifts go...people do what they can.... i was never a beliver of giving back only what i got.. if i can do more for someone that matters then I will...If not then I wont.
as far as the actual bridal party gifts... I spent a pretty penny on them and who knows they might not be satisfied. U cant make everyone happy...
I think that all this started becasue of the way the poor girl came off.... She was prob fed up while posting so it came out that way in her post...

I hope for both the bride and the bridesmaid..that the day of the wedding everything runs smoothly and that this fiasco doesn't ruin their freindship.

Re: PSA for brides

I would still like to know who the bride the original poster is referring to here!

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by randella

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

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Posted by wp2006

2 months ago I told her (nicely) that no under no circumstances would I show up at 6 am to have my hair & make up done & get ready. She said fine. She only *just* told us, now it's 8:00. I explained the situation, she agreed. She thinks she made a HUGE concession to push it to 8. (oh and she is providing breakfast, but no lunch as she doesn't want our breath to smell for her ceremony. Dinner won't be until about 7:30/8 pm)

I did make a point about the cost of the shower and bachelorette parties at the time. She pulled a fit about the guys were going away so she shoudl get to. She said her mother was insisting on the huge shower invite list. She has lots of excuses.

I did discuss the stranding us at the reception, months ago. She shrugged, said she'd come up with asolution, and then DIDN'T.

I'm complaining now, because as it gets closer, she is increasingly putting the pressure on us.

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I'm sorry, but she's refusing you lunch because she doesn't want your breath to smell for her ceremony? That's one of the funniest things I ever heard. She's the one that needs to say her vows; it's not like the bridal party has to say anything. If I was you, I'd be peeved over that also. This coming from someone who just got married herself 3 weeks ago. I would never justify starving my BM's for fear that their breath would smell. LOL.

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I actually thought this was funny too-- and scientifically, at least to my knowledge, your breath smells more when you don't eat-- it's that yucky bad breath smell-- I mean for god sakes, you don't need to feed the girls tuna fish and onions, but some food!

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Yeah, I've also heard that your breath smells worse when you don't eat. There are plenty of lunch options that wouldn't scare away the vampires! Also, to imply that one's bm's would allow themselves to have bad breath is also kind of mean. That's what mints are for!

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by smara

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Posted by Preshy7

im going out on a limb here..
i agree with the original poster..
and i tried to respect her ideas, which are also my beliefs, in my own wedding

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Brave soul... going against us..

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ur too funny!!!!
I got ur back chick... After all ur my LIW crush on the 07 boards...

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

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Posted by randella

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

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Posted by wp2006

2 months ago I told her (nicely) that no under no circumstances would I show up at 6 am to have my hair & make up done & get ready. She said fine. She only *just* told us, now it's 8:00. I explained the situation, she agreed. She thinks she made a HUGE concession to push it to 8. (oh and she is providing breakfast, but no lunch as she doesn't want our breath to smell for her ceremony. Dinner won't be until about 7:30/8 pm)

I did make a point about the cost of the shower and bachelorette parties at the time. She pulled a fit about the guys were going away so she shoudl get to. She said her mother was insisting on the huge shower invite list. She has lots of excuses.

I did discuss the stranding us at the reception, months ago. She shrugged, said she'd come up with asolution, and then DIDN'T.

I'm complaining now, because as it gets closer, she is increasingly putting the pressure on us.

---

I'm sorry, but she's refusing you lunch because she doesn't want your breath to smell for her ceremony? That's one of the funniest things I ever heard. She's the one that needs to say her vows; it's not like the bridal party has to say anything. If I was you, I'd be peeved over that also. This coming from someone who just got married herself 3 weeks ago. I would never justify starving my BM's for fear that their breath would smell. LOL.

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I actually thought this was funny too-- and scientifically, at least to my knowledge, your breath smells more when you don't eat-- it's that yucky bad breath smell-- I mean for god sakes, you don't need to feed the girls tuna fish and onions, but some food!

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Yeah, I've also heard that your breath smells worse when you don't eat. There are plenty of lunch options that wouldn't scare away the vampires! Also, to imply that one's bm's would allow themselves to have bad breath is also kind of mean. That's what mints are for!

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NO LUNCH?????i would have dropped out when i heard that i eat all day long!

Re: PSA for brides

WP - I think that you had some valid points and concerns, but your delivery needs some modifications.

You obviously are stressed about being in the BP in a few weeks,however, by the tone of this post I think that you and the bride to be will not be friends after the wedding so unless you are related to her, I would back out of the BP now.

As for your points, I understand that you might not think having your hair and make up 'done' for the wedding is a gift. However, if the bride had said when she asked you to be in the BP that she wanted everyone to be done up or if you know your friend is high maintenance and would want that, then your not having to pay it is a gift. You might have wanted a present or something else, but she does not have to give you anything. To be asked to be in a BP is supposed to be an honour for you.If you do not see it that way then I would step down.

As for arrival and getting ready times, being somewhere at 8 am seems reasonable if you are getting your hair and make up done. My wedding was at 4 pm and with all the events my BP was ready at 10 am for photos and the like. I did not ask them to get their hair/make up done, but if you are part of a BP that is getting these things done then 8 am is extremely reasonable and to be expected. I don't think she is asking a lot from you here.

As for your point about seating, yes I agree, to split a couple up is rude. However, as for walking down the asile, posed photos and even a bridal party dance, none of those requests are out of the ordinary. Frankly, they are to be expected and your spouse should be able to sit during the ceremony while you stand as a member of the BP. That is just part of the tasks. You are to serve as a witness, that is the job of the BP.

As for a garter/bo-kay toss, you are right, no one should ever be forced to participate. But a bride does have the right to do either or both if she desires.

As for a gift, it is what you can afford. If you want to give an equal amount to what she gave you, no one is stopping you from doing so.

Oh and if you know you won't have food provided for some time, take something with you so that you will not be hungry or thirsty.

Lastly, yes if the bride promised to provide you with transportation, then she should, but if she does not, then be prepared to find something yourself.

Re: PSA for brides

Re: PSA for brides

There is a simple solution here gals....
umm this person obviously has a lot of animosity towards this bride )so called friend) and is talking a lot of bad stuff... so maybe she isn't a real friend so maybe you shouldn't be in the wedding party! I would NEVER say that it was 'just a wedding' if it was a close friend of mine!! That is your friends big day! If what you said is true about all these demands then she is a pretty demanding friend.. and I know I wouldn't have friends like that!! I sure hope u can resolve this before 2 weeks is up!!!

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by wp2006

oh and I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid. i was told I would be (with a not imagined implication that if I declined, we would no longer be friends).

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yeah - but it sounds like your friendship is pretty much over anyway - you could have said no and save yourself the thousand bucks - because she either knows how you feel by now, or you are harboring so much resentment you are a complete drag to be around!