Re: PSA for brides

I think I have an idea of who it is... FM me if anyone finds out for sure.

Regarding the post itself.

I somewhat agree with the OP. The Bride seems to be a little crazy herself... so I'm beginning to see how the 2 were friends in the first place. Some of the mandates - no lunch, be at the house at 8am, do this for my bridal shower, do that for my bachelorette party is just too controlling for me to take. But with that being said I would have spoken up a long time ago and way before it cost over $1k to be in the BP.

The splitting up of couples is mostly a non-issue. I do have a problem with the fact that the 'couple' may not be sitting at the same table during the reception, but the walking down the aisle and the dance is not really a huge deal. The OP seems more insecure about her hubby spending time with anyone but her.

The wedding may just be a party for you, and you chose to focus on certain things, but for this bride it is more than that. I understand your frustration, but if you can't deal with it, you should back out or speak up. The way you chose to handle it (with 2 weeks to go) is just petty and very high school. You both have serious issues to deal with - starting with each other first.

Good luck to you both!

Re: PSA for brides

OH how I wish I had a computer at home!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: PSA for brides

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So you all, as brides, really think that I shoudl approach the bride, NOW inteh 11th hour (wedding in less than 2 weeks) with these concerns?

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You are concerned about approaching her last minute about all this, but I can't imagine you have been a pleasure to deal with throughout all the planning if you are this angry about it all.

I agree, there are some brides out there that are more demanding than others. But you had the CHOICE from the beginning as to whether or not you wanted to participate and to what extent. You apparently have a problem saying 'No' to people and expressing your feelings. And you apparently can't be open and honest with your friend. And if you can't stand your 'friends' demands and bitchiness than I would seriously question your friendship with her, or whether she is a friend at all.

This just goes back to my original thought in a post similar to this awhile ago, that these days wedding are extremely expensive and time consuming. As a bride, when we ask our friends or family to be a part of our bridal party, we should let them know what we expect and want from them. As a friend or family member asked to be a part of a bridal party, we should ask what is expected and wanted of us.

I feel terrible that you were put in a situation where you felt that you had no way out and that you are 'forced' to do things you either don't want to do or can't afford to do. However, it is as ridiculous to keep your mouth shut about it and let your anger build up about it. Considering that you layed out all this money and lived up to her demands and you are going to hate her after the wedding and probaby end your friendship anyway. So than you really just threw you $$$$ out the window. You definetely should have said something from the beginning....and that is your fault for not.

Re: PSA for brides

Re: PSA for brides

After reading this on and on does ANYONE else out there think that this WHOLE thing might just be made up or a complete fabrication??

b/c I have a feeling: someone just wants to start drama

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by ANGNICK
i would love to kick the ever loving shi*** ouf of wp 2006 right now... would love to meet you!!!!!!!!

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Can I introduce you to my FSIL????? The one I constantly post about hating!!!!! FH tells me I have to remain civilized until after the wedding. But he never mentioned anyone else.

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

After reading this on and on does ANYONE else out there think that this WHOLE thing might just be made up or a complete fabrication??

b/c I have a feeling: someone just wants to start drama

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ooooh you arent suppose to call brides , oh wait but she isnt a bride

I thought it was a little extreme because of the no lunch due to bad breath. What human would say that to a person and what person would actually starve becuase someone told them too. This is almost as disturbing as the splitting up of the couples.

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by jellybean1420

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Posted by ANGNICK
i would love to kick the ever loving shi*** ouf of wp 2006 right now... would love to meet you!!!!!!!!

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Can I introduce you to my FSIL????? The one I constantly post about hating!!!!! FH tells me I have to remain civilized until after the wedding. But he never mentioned anyone else.

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Is this really your FSIL? I feel sorry for you and all this drama....

Re: PSA for brides

My suggestion to you....IF you do decide you approach her....maybe you should think before you speak....this way it doesn't come off as selfish as you sound on these posts. I think it's safe to assume that you have either never been married, or had a very 'unusal' wedding for long island because I have been in a number of weddings parties and have a couple that are still pending, but very few of your arguments are in the least bit valid. You had to have known (to some degree) what being in a BP entailed. Even if you were 'told' you had to be in the party.....you're not 5....you should make your own decisions.

Simple solutions- If you don't want your hair/make up done....tell her you're not interested. But coming from her shoes...you better damn well make an effort to do your hair and make up somewhat nicer that day... because she will be paying a lot of money for your mug to be in pictures.....so you should try to look nice

Lunch the day of-- Brown bag it if you're THAT concerned about being hungry...... It's a long day. To be honest with you, I would assume that you'd be so psyched about the whole thing that the time would fly and you wouldnt even miss the turkey and swiss....but ....avoid the hunger pains, bring lunch....and of course mints....because if you were serious about the breath thing....then yeah, she's going overboard a bit.

Bouquet toss.....you can usually tell when it's coming.....some sort of announcement....DJ hints about it....blah blah blah.....take a bathroom break....cigarette break.....go get another drink.... this can easily be avoided....no need to panic.

Stranded after the wedding....(assuming either your date *unless you're going stag* is in the wedding party)....do you have any other friends that will be attending but no in the BP??? can you drop off a car the day before....or morning/afternoon of?? Not all limo packages include the after reception pick up..... This is not worth ruining a friendship over....while it may inconvenience you, what does it really cost you...maybe $5 in gas and an hour of your time???

Shower/Bachelorette party $$- If you had an issue about this, you should have spoke up from the beginning.....worse case scenario, if you said you can only give a certain amount, stick to that amount. I would just try to do what you can and make sure you are available for the things that dont 'cost anything'......putting together favors...decorations....etc..

Finally.....as for the comment about coming to a 'neutral place to vent'.......you consider LIWeddings....filled with brides that spend literally hours and hours typing every detail of their wedding as being neutral...did you honestly think that you would have half of the crowd on your side.... You're taking the fun out of planning our own weddings...and lets be realistic, we're all addicted to this site....we live for this stuff. Maybe next time a more appropriate forum would just be an AOL chatroom...

GOOD LUCK

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by jellybean1420

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Posted by ANGNICK
i would love to kick the ever loving shi*** ouf of wp 2006 right now... would love to meet you!!!!!!!!

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Can I introduce you to my FSIL????? The one I constantly post about hating!!!!! FH tells me I have to remain civilized until after the wedding. But he never mentioned anyone else.

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you got it.. want to meet my FMIL? I can't kick the crap out of her either, but you can!!!!

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by jellybean1420

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Posted by ANGNICK
i would love to kick the ever loving shi*** ouf of wp 2006 right now... would love to meet you!!!!!!!!

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Can I introduce you to my FSIL????? The one I constantly post about hating!!!!! FH tells me I have to remain civilized until after the wedding. But he never mentioned anyone else.

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Wait OMG Crissy , ,, Was that your sis in law, wp200 or whatever ?

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by tonimike

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Posted by jellybean1420

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Posted by ANGNICK
i would love to kick the ever loving shi*** ouf of wp 2006 right now... would love to meet you!!!!!!!!

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Can I introduce you to my FSIL????? The one I constantly post about hating!!!!! FH tells me I have to remain civilized until after the wedding. But he never mentioned anyone else.

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Wait OMG Crissy , ,, Was that your sis in law, wp200 or whatever ?

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No - she was saying since i wanted to kick the crap out of wp 2006, she wanted to know if i would do the same for her FSIL - FH said that she couldnt beat up her FSIL - but then she said to me that there is no reason i couldnt beat her up - 2 totally different people.

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by tonimike

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Posted by jellybean1420

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Posted by ANGNICK
i would love to kick the ever loving shi*** ouf of wp 2006 right now... would love to meet you!!!!!!!!

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Can I introduce you to my FSIL????? The one I constantly post about hating!!!!! FH tells me I have to remain civilized until after the wedding. But he never mentioned anyone else.

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Wait OMG Crissy , ,, Was that your sis in law, wp200 or whatever ?

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Yea tell us.. I am sooo dying to know.. !!!!

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by wp2006

Public Service Announcement for brides from a wedding party member:

I usually stay away from drama like this, but I just couldn't resist!

Paying for your 'maids hair & make up is NOT a gift to them. it is a gift to YOU. it puts them out and benefits only you, therefore doo not refer to it as a gift to them, it will only annoy them.

It only 'puts you out' if you are required to pay for it. Otherwise the bride is in fact making a gift of hair and makeup. It serves to make you the BM more glamorous than you already are. Your date will drool over how beautiful & different you look and that can only benefit you!

If your wedding is at 4:00 pm, your wedding party is not obligated to be anywhere, etc before 2:00 pm earliest. Anything earlier you need to say please & thank you and be grateful for inconveniencing them.

Sorry, but I think most of the brides will wholeheartedly disagree with this. If a bride wants to take pictures before the ceremony it is necessary for the entire BP to be ready when the photographer says he wants everyone to be ready. The alternative is for the newlyweds and the entire BP and the family to miss cocktail hour while taking pictures. I think these days everyone who is paying for cocktail hour wants to actual enjoy it!

Splitting up couples is rude. Splitting up married couples is hateful. In order to properly belss your own marriege, you should bless hte concept of marriage. karma will come back & bite you.
Yup, totally agree. The wife of one of our GM asked if she was going to be seated with members of the pool team so she would know someone. I told her no, she would be seated with her husband, not the pool team. I was completely blown away by her surprise! Do people still separate married couples?? Yup, very very rude!

If fyou want to do a bouqet toss/garder toss fine. but if you call out your friends after they discreetly & politely decline, you are not a good friend. Hunilation is NOT a bridesmaid requirement! (and yes, many people find it humilating, just cause you don't doesn't mean you get to choose their values)
Umm, if you're complaining about being separated from your DH why does the bo-k toss matter to you? It's only for the single people.

If you gave a crappy cheap gift to your friends last year, don't complain if you get the same $$ amount back. it doesn't matter that your wedding cost more - daa if you can afford more you NEED less.
Newsflash - wedding gifts are not mandatory.

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Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by ChrissynRicky

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Posted by itslaurie.

Although your delivery isn't so great, I think you provide an interesting perspective.

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I agree that you bought up some valid points that I certainly agree with, but your delivery needs work.

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me too.

i agree asking couples to sit on different tables is annoying, and I hate when people call out on the garter toss. Also, if she said she's provide transportation, she should.

and I don't know what's up with the no lunch/bad breath thing. that's just plain wierd.


As for walking down the aisle, it only takes a few minutes so i don't think it's a big deal if you have to walk with someone else. And i think it's nice to pay for someone's hair and makeup, but i wouldn't want to be there at 8 either

good points, but REALLY horrible delivery. and i think it would be more effective to just talk it out with your friend. these posts just make it worse. or post on some site she doesnt read.

Re: PSA for brides

sorry i missed this thread - i was too busy booking my gifts for my bm's at the salon. carefully seating married couples away from one another and demanding my bm;s be with me all day the day of the wedding......did i miss anything?

Re: PSA for brides

Posted by jellybean1420



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Posted by ANGNICK
i would love to kick the ever loving shi*** ouf of wp 2006 right now... would love to meet you!!!!!!!!
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Can I introduce you to my FSIL????? The one I constantly post about hating!!!!! FH tells me I have to remain civilized until after the wedding. But he never mentioned anyone else.
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Is this really your FSIL? I feel sorry for you and all this drama....

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Sorry girls for the confusion....the crazy poster is not my FSIL, if it were I would have kicked her a$$ myself. I just thought it was funny when ANGNICK said that....it sounds like something I would say and exactly what I would love to do to my FSIL ( I post how much I hate her all the time). Sorry to let you guys down but I don't know the crazy poster at all!!!!!!

Re: PSA for brides

Maybe it is your FSIL in diguise. You never know.

Re: PSA for brides

can someone FM me and tell me who it is...I'm dying over here!!

Re: PSA for brides

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Posted by ANGNICK
No - she was saying since i wanted to kick the crap out of wp 2006, she wanted to know if i would do the same for her FSIL - FH said that she couldnt beat up her FSIL - but then she said to me that there is no reason i couldnt beat her up - 2 totally different people.

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EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!