PSA for brides

Original post by wp2006

May 23, 2006 12:29 PM

Public Service Announcement for brides from a wedding party member:

Paying for your 'maids hair & make up is NOT a gift to them. it is a gift to YOU. it puts them out and benefits only you, therefore doo not refer to it as a gift to them, it will only annoy them.

If your wedding is at 4:00 pm, your wedding party is not obligated to be anywhere, etc before 2:00 pm earliest. Anything earlier you need to say please & thank you and be grateful for inconveniencing them.

Splitting up couples is rude. Splitting up married couples is hateful. In order to properly belss your own marriege, you should bless hte concept of marriage. karma will come back & bite you.

If fyou want to do a bouqet toss/garder toss fine. but if you call out your friends after they discreetly & politely decline, you are not a good friend. Hunilation is NOT a bridesmaid requirement! (and yes, many people find it humilating, just cause you don't doesn't mean you get to choose their values)

If you gave a crappy cheap gift to your friends last year, don't complain if you get the same $$ amount back. it doesn't matter that your wedding cost more - daa if you can afford more you NEED less.

bournebride Posted: May 23, 2006 06:50 PM

Re: PSA for brides

Posted by DNicholes

can someone FM me and tell me who it is...I'm dying over here!!

Me too!!!

smara Posted: May 23, 2006 06:51 PM

Re: PSA for brides

Posted by bournebride

Posted by DNicholes

can someone FM me and tell me who it is...I'm dying over here!!

Me too!!!

And this post made it to 9 pages...

ColleenMc Posted: May 23, 2006 06:54 PM

Re: PSA for brides

Me too... I just read all nine pages trying to figure it out!!!!

cmc Posted: May 23, 2006 07:03 PM

Re: PSA for brides

I agree... I think it would have been better if she declined... sunshine seems to have some serious issues... hahaha!

cmc Posted: May 23, 2006 07:13 PM

Re: PSA for brides

This is sooo funny...

Wedding planning/BP planning can really bring out the worst in people sometimes. It's crazy.

It all seems pretty normal to me at it's not a big deal. I wouldn't split my BP up from their dates but that's me.

BKtoLI Posted: May 23, 2006 07:14 PM

Re: PSA for brides

Coming from someone who just got married 3 weeks ago, and from the OP who almost sounds like my MOH or BM, I will say the following:

Get the hell out of the wedding NOW. Because hindsight 20/20, I would MUCH rather have had to rearrange the bridal party, seating, whatever I would have had to do 2 weeks before the wedding than deal with the b!tching I got from one of my BMs and my MOH the morning of my wedding. It's 3 weeks later and I am still debating on speaking to either of them. I had unnecessary stress that morning, and my pictures show it.

As for hair & makeup not being a gift: Oh yes it is. I didn't have to pay for half of the hair & makeup for my girls. I could have let them pay in full. But because I asked them to get it done (with giving them the option of going on their own) I paid for half. I also gave them jewelry. But technically, after spending roughly an extra $700, you better believe it was a freaking gift. Would they have preferred something more materialistic? Probably, but I can always give them something later on.

As for showing up early for pictures: I asked my girls to be there at 9am for my 4:30pm wedding. Why? Because that's the time my hair & makeup girls gave me, not the time I determined. I didn't want to be up early on a Sunday morning either, but I didn't have a choice. It takes an hour to do each girl, and if you're taking pics beforehand you need EXTRA time.

As for the shower & bachelorette parties, there is always the word NO. I had a bachelorette party and NONE of my BMs were there. Did I care? No. Whoever could afford to spend the $25 came.

I agree with you on the point of being rude to split up couples, if you're referring to seating at the reception. That's something I would never do.

And asking people not to eat insane, I actually told all of my BMs to make sure they ate something that morning, because I didn't want hungry BMs on my hands.

Point is, you need to talk to her directly about how you feel. She may not even realize how she is acting. And better to do it now than later, when the repercussions would be worse!!!

Shannondon Posted: May 23, 2006 07:28 PM

Re: PSA for brides

Posted by wp2006

FYI, the bride has actually responded to this thread.

And, well you all can read the posts - she didn't own up to any of this. She knows it's her...

Honestly, sorry to offend some of you, but really now, it is just a party. it's not the end of the world if someone wants to wear their own lipstick. I'm being ofriced to use someone elses mascara for goodness sake - GROSS.

Everyone can take a lesson from this. i apologise in regards to my harsh delivery tho.

So has she thrown you out of the bridal party yet??? I'm just wondering, after all this. I guess you won't have to back out!

curliegirl Posted: May 23, 2006 07:29 PM

Re: PSA for brides

...........(reading)................(reading.)........(reading)......DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew!!!! That took a while.....

Just wanted to say that, nothing about the spineless, selfish jerk of a poster......

enjft Posted: May 23, 2006 07:30 PM

Re: PSA for brides

curliegirl Posted: May 23, 2006 07:32 PM

Re: PSA for brides

enjft Posted: May 23, 2006 07:33 PM

Re: PSA for brides

Posted by curliegirl

I got it eventually

curliegirl Posted: May 23, 2006 07:33 PM

Re: PSA for brides

Posted by enjft

Posted by curliegirl

I got it eventually

i102bcute Posted: May 23, 2006 07:36 PM

Re: PSA for brides

what the F*CK is this about!! I hear a nasty tone..LOL

sarahthegreat Posted: May 23, 2006 07:45 PM

Re: PSA for brides

Posted by BKtoLI

Coming from someone who just got married 3 weeks ago, and from the OP who almost sounds like my MOH or BM, I will say the following:

Get the hell out of the wedding NOW. Because hindsight 20/20, I would MUCH rather have had to rearrange the bridal party, seating, whatever I would have had to do 2 weeks before the wedding than deal with the b!tching I got from one of my BMs and my MOH the morning of my wedding. It's 3 weeks later and I am still debating on speaking to either of them. I had unnecessary stress that morning, and my pictures show it.

As for hair & makeup not being a gift: Oh yes it is. I didn't have to pay for half of the hair & makeup for my girls. I could have let them pay in full. But because I asked them to get it done (with giving them the option of going on their own) I paid for half. I also gave them jewelry. But technically, after spending roughly an extra $700, you better believe it was a freaking gift. Would they have preferred something more materialistic? Probably, but I can always give them something later on.

As for showing up early for pictures: I asked my girls to be there at 9am for my 4:30pm wedding. Why? Because that's the time my hair & makeup girls gave me, not the time I determined. I didn't want to be up early on a Sunday morning either, but I didn't have a choice. It takes an hour to do each girl, and if you're taking pics beforehand you need EXTRA time.

As for the shower & bachelorette parties, there is always the word NO. I had a bachelorette party and NONE of my BMs were there. Did I care? No. Whoever could afford to spend the $25 came.

I agree with you on the point of being rude to split up couples, if you're referring to seating at the reception. That's something I would never do.

And asking people not to eat insane, I actually told all of my BMs to make sure they ate something that morning, because I didn't want hungry BMs on my hands.

Point is, you need to talk to her directly about how you feel. She may not even realize how she is acting. And better to do it now than later, when the repercussions would be worse!!!

well said.

sarahthegreat Posted: May 23, 2006 07:47 PM

Re: PSA for brides

and just as a side note to the original poster - its my ******** day....if i want their hair and make up done, it will be done. if i choose to give that as their gift, thats what it is, a gift. less $$ for them to spend that day.

so whatever it is or whoever it is wedding you are in, just back out like the spineless weasel that you are.

IslandPrincess Posted: May 23, 2006 07:48 PM

Re: PSA for brides

Posted by bournebride

Posted by DNicholes

can someone FM me and tell me who it is...I'm dying over here!!

Me too!!!

and me!

Shannondon Posted: May 23, 2006 07:50 PM

Re: PSA for brides

Posted by IslandPrincess

Posted by bournebride

Posted by DNicholes

can someone FM me and tell me who it is...I'm dying over here!!

Me too!!!

and me!

And me too, please

aliwnec10 Posted: May 23, 2006 07:57 PM

Re: PSA for brides

Posted by wp2006

Honestly, sorry to offend some of you, but really now, it is just a party. it's not the end of the world if someone wants to wear their own lipstick. I'm being ofriced to use someone elses mascara for goodness sake - GROSS.

I happen to agree with you on this one. To both my FH and i, it is just one big party that we hope to have fun at. And i happen to think it's wrong to ask your BM's to do this, this, this, and that. Seriously... everyone wearing the same nail polish or having their hair done exactly the same is absurd in my opinion. These small details do not matter to me at all. To some they do and that's fine. To each their own. But i've also learned to not sweat the small stuff in life because there will be bigger things to worry about down the road and you'll wonder why you ever cared about that other stuff.

From my point of view... i plan on having so much fun at my party. And as long as we get married by the end of the day somehow or somewhere, i will be happy. All the details... i could care less about. To me, that's what the day is about--> you and your husband. Not what color flowers you have or that your hair didn't come out absolutely perfect. That's the small stuff, no matter what way you look at it. But that's just me!