BTDT Mom's - Mistakes??

I thought, the BTDT Moms could help all us new moms and preggos out. Since there are so many of you on the boards, I was wondering what mistakes you made that you said to yourself, I won't do that with the next one. I know my girlfriends have given me advice like don't let the kids in your bed all the time or not to let the baby use you as a pacifier (if you are breastfeeding). So I was wondering if you could offer one piece of advice for all of us what would it be. I am petrified of developing bad habits that are going to give me problems later on.

Re: BTDT Mom's - Mistakes??

I honestly can't think of anything I regret doing vs not doing.

My best piece of advice is to do what's best for your family. People will tell you what they did and what you should do, but just do what works for you and keeps your family close and working together.

Re: BTDT Mom's - Mistakes??

One thing I am glad we did is set an evening routine. Right from the beginning (after that initial newborn stage) It consists of dinner, bath, calm down time, bed. Of course there are nights when you cant be home for some reason but most nights that's our 4 step routine. Children crave routine and while IMO, its impossible to have a 24/7 routine, if you can institute an evening routine, it will benefit you and your child. Both my kids are in bed by 8pm most nights. I know people whose have young kids who are still up at 10 or 11pm. My DH and I have our nights for us and the kids have a solid pattern that they can count on. Even my 9 1/2 month old knows that after dinner comes bath b/c she hangs on the gate at the bottom of the stairs

HTH

Re: BTDT Mom's - Mistakes??

I agree with the routine thing. Kids need routine...it makes them feel safe and they know what to expect.

I guess my only advice (and this is really for when they're alittle older) is not to cave in too much (or not at all). If you say 'no', stick to it. They need to know that you are the authority figure, and you don;t want them to walk all over you.

I totally agree with the bed thing, too. My sister brought my neices in bed with her when they were little...they are now 5 and 8, and STILL in her bed

Re: BTDT Mom's - Mistakes??

I wish I had listened to my gut in the hospital when I was given wrong and misleading information. I know my body. I know what is best for me. I should have listened.
When bfing was a problem I allowed some moron doctor who I never met before to use scare tatics on me and force me to use formula. It was a decision that cost me my nursing relationship with my daughter. Thankfully I was able to get to a LC once out of the hospital and was able to save my supply, but Molly never nursed after that. I had to bottle feed her breast milk. So my advise...listen to your gut...it never steers you wrong!

Re: BTDT Mom's - Mistakes??

I do not have any 'mistakes' yet, at least I don't think so, lol - I KNOW that in a few months I will be coming back saying I should NEVER have gotten Michael in the habit of being rocked to sleep or falling asleep with the bottle - but for now it works and I won't change it!

Re: BTDT Mom's - Mistakes??

I think routine is one of the most important things, my son never wanted to take naps, ever, so I made the mistake of putting him in the car and driving him around until he fell asleep, I know big mistake! I did that until he was like 3 years old.
This time around I won't be doing that!!

Re: BTDT Mom's - Mistakes??

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Posted by OctBride03

I do not have any 'mistakes' yet, at least I don't think so, lol - I KNOW that in a few months I will be coming back saying I should NEVER have gotten Michael in the habit of being rocked to sleep or falling asleep with the bottle - but for now it works and I won't change it!

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This is how I feel, I have been giving ds a pacifier which helps him fall asleep and like you I feel it works for now, but it scares me that I might regret it later. I guess we all live and learn.

Re: BTDT Mom's - Mistakes??

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Posted by Elizabeth

One thing I am glad we did is set an evening routine. Right from the beginning (after that initial newborn stage) It consists of dinner, bath, calm down time, bed.
HTH

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Liz, at what age did you start that routine?

Re: BTDT Mom's - Mistakes??

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Posted by WhatNow?

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Posted by Elizabeth

One thing I am glad we did is set an evening routine. Right from the beginning (after that initial newborn stage) It consists of dinner, bath, calm down time, bed.
HTH

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Liz, at what age did you start that routine?

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Once they started having solids is when I was able to consider that there was a dinner time for them and start doing the 4 step routine. Luke started solids at 4 months, Tara around 5. Before that I just made it a nightime ritual with giving a bath (or if you dont bathe everyday, a spongebath) and massage with the baby lotion before putting on the pjs. The quiet time, even for a small baby, can be just playing on the bed with a soft toy with him and cuddling him. Then the final feeding and bed.

Re: BTDT Mom's - Mistakes??

I agree routine is great since at least at two months we started Kevin on a nighttime routine and little by little he is starting to sleep better at night. We change him (we don't do baths at night yet), dim the lights, we use to play white noise or soothing cd (but we have phased it out as he got older), give the bottle, keep it quiet, etc. He falls asleep soon after he finishes the bottle. I am now trying to get an afternoon nap going and not in my arms. He started kind of doing it on his own in his swing. He has done it a bunch of times in the past week and half....for 1-2 hours. I am hoping it sticks and I can eventually transition him to the crib.