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brooklynbridezilla
Ever After
Member since 4/04 6651 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/5/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
I was thinking about this last night...thoughts?
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Posted 7/18/05 9:42 AM 
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Mrs. dleeny
My most beautiful day ever
Member since 3/05 12395 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/6/2005 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club A+
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
I always have at least covered my plate (at least I hope I have!)
ETA: there's probably 1 wedding where I didn't. it was at Windows on the World, these people were loaded. God only knows how much they paid per plate!
Message edited 7/18/2005 9:50:07 AM.
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Posted 7/18/05 9:47 AM
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Sweetpea130000
TIME IS FLYING!!!!
Member since 7/04 4165 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/19/2005 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Riviera @ Massapequa A++++++++++
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
I believe I have always at least covered my plate, except at one wedding where i know i was about $20 short
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Posted 7/18/05 9:48 AM
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GsCM4EVA
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 2/05 2838 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/13/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
Yes, absolutely.............
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Posted 7/18/05 9:52 AM
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tray831
Where did my wedding day go?
Member since 5/04 1863 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/10/2005 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
East Wind--NH
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
Yes.......I have and I do. 
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Posted 7/18/05 9:57 AM
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brooklynbridezilla
Ever After
Member since 4/04 6651 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/5/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
I didn't really think about it before, but seeing things from the paying perspective, i will always at least try to cover my plate. 
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Posted 7/18/05 9:58 AM
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Blu-ize
My House
Member since 8/04 8306 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/28/1998 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
East Meadow Jewish Center
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
I usually give a set amount regardless of how much I think the per head was. It doesn't matter if it's at a fancy country club where the plate costs $200 or a place where the per head is $80. It's more about my relationship with the bride and groom and family.
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Posted 7/18/05 10:00 AM
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DayBeforeThanksgiving
Hey!!!! I'm "Mrs. Schneider"
Member since 10/04 1740 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/23/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau La Mer
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
YES!!!
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Posted 7/18/05 10:05 AM
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mcaula
Bun in the Oven:)
Member since 5/04 1921 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/26/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau La Mer
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
YES DEFINATELY
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Posted 7/18/05 10:16 AM
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acre730
Board Fanatic
Member since 5/05 790 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/30/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Milleridge Inn
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
FI and I went to a wedding a while back, we were engaged but hadn't started planning yet.... Neither of us had been to a wedding since we were kids and we gave, what I find out now to be not nearly enough of a gift. Since we began planning I am more in a wedding state of mind and am now really embarassed that FI didn't give more. It wasn't that we aren't generous its just that we were really out of touch with the realities of the costs of things ...Well as embarassing as it was, we will be more on top of this in the future.
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Posted 7/18/05 10:18 AM
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jes81276
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 3/05 1896 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/21/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet at Willow Creek
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
FH and I were just talking about this bc we went to a wedding a few weeks ago. Luckily we feel like we do cover our plates, but we are so much more aware now that we know how much different places charge, what extras are, etc.
I cannot get over how weddings are really like a business transaction....unbelievable! 
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Posted 7/18/05 10:19 AM
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boobobunny
All for my little Miracle!!!!
Member since 3/05 1595 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/19/2005 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
I always cover my plate...and if they if we are extra close to the couple we give more.
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Posted 7/18/05 10:26 AM
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anjerandunder
I passed my boards
Member since 7/04 2478 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/4/2005 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Carlyle on the Green A++
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
i just had this discussion with the people at work and i really think it depends on your relationship with the person because some people definitely pay much more than I would give to even a family member. I don't think I should pay 400 to cover my plates to a work person especially when i know that person makes double what i make. i just can't afford it. barely anyone covered their plates for my wedding and i certainly was not expecting that of my guests. i paid what i paid and i don't think friends should have to give it back to me. i was just happy they were there with me. with the prices of weddings nowadays, i don't think the gift should go by what people are paying per plate. jmo
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Posted 7/18/05 10:37 AM
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gtsgirl
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 9/03 1165 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/27/2005 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet Windwatch
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
I would if I could afford to cover my plate. When I was 21 going to weddings I don't think I always did that being I was a collage student living on my own but I gave what I could. Now that I'm planning my own I realize that its the party I chose to throw so if i'm inviting someone (i.e. my brother who is younger and living paycheck to paycheck) I would never expect him to pay for his plate..its what you can do and I really believe that a gift is a gift regardless.
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Posted 7/18/05 10:45 AM
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divabride
Being Bridezilla aint so bad!
Member since 12/03 7026 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/9/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
Posted by Blu-ize
I usually give a set amount regardless of how much I think the per head was. It doesn't matter if it's at a fancy country club where the plate costs $200 or a place where the per head is $80. It's more about my relationship with the bride and groom and family.
I agree. It depends on my relationship with the bride and groom, not the cost of the plate.
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Posted 7/18/05 10:51 AM
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azoodie
true love
Member since 11/03 4830 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Sans Souci A+++++++++++++++
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
Posted by divabride
Posted by Blu-ize
I usually give a set amount regardless of how much I think the per head was. It doesn't matter if it's at a fancy country club where the plate costs $200 or a place where the per head is $80. It's more about my relationship with the bride and groom and family.
I agree. It depends on my relationship with the bride and groom, not the cost of the plate.
ditto this!
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Posted 7/18/05 10:51 AM
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hbradio
Our board is gone :-(
Member since 11/03 9840 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/29/2005 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
Posted by divabride
Posted by Blu-ize
I usually give a set amount regardless of how much I think the per head was. It doesn't matter if it's at a fancy country club where the plate costs $200 or a place where the per head is $80. It's more about my relationship with the bride and groom and family.
I agree. It depends on my relationship with the bride and groom, not the cost of the plate.
same here
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Posted 7/18/05 10:57 AM
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AJsMommy122
Happily Ever After!
Member since 12/03 10711 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/20/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
SandCastle
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
Well we were always generous with our gifts for weddings in the past IMO
I really don't take where they are getting married into account. Not to be mean but its the bride and grooms choice to pick a hall for $100 p/p or $300 p/p and I can't afford to give one couple $600 just so I know I covered my plate!!!
Also why should the couple who couldn't afford to spend more then $100 or less p/p get the same gift as everyone else????
Not everyone has the same financial situation. Some people have their parents paying for the wedding so it didn't cost them anything. Should I give nothing?
I base it more on my relationship with the couple then the hall. I would never give a cheaper gift b/c it was a less expensive hall so to be fair I can't give a more generous gift b/c its a more expensive hall.
If my good friend got married and had a bbq dinner in her backyard... I would give the same to her as if another close friend got married at Oheka.
Message edited 7/18/2005 11:03:29 AM.
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Posted 7/18/05 11:02 AM
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Love_my_Freddybear
I love my Freddybear!!!
Member since 6/05 2015 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/3/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
**LARKFIELD MANOR**
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
Yes, always cover your plate!!!!
Only one time I didn't but he brides Dad is loaded and the wedding was in a castle. I think it was well over $500 per plate. So no, I didn't give her a 1,000 for me and my guest. But like I said, Daddy paid for it and she didn't expect everyone to cover there plate.
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Posted 7/18/05 11:06 AM
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angelbear217
Come out baby girl!!!!
Member since 12/03 3779 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/23/2005 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Inn at East Wind
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
We are more conscious of what we give now that we know how much everything costs. We usually try to cover our plate or make the best estimate.
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Posted 7/18/05 11:59 AM
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cloddy
Can I do this every year?
Member since 12/04 1067 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/4/2005 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
KofC Oceanside
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
Posted by Soon2bMsZ
Well we were always generous with our gifts for weddings in the past IMO
I really don't take where they are getting married into account. Not to be mean but its the bride and grooms choice to pick a hall for $100 p/p or $300 p/p and I can't afford to give one couple $600 just so I know I covered my plate!!!
Also why should the couple who couldn't afford to spend more then $100 or less p/p get the same gift as everyone else????
Not everyone has the same financial situation. Some people have their parents paying for the wedding so it didn't cost them anything. Should I give nothing?
I base it more on my relationship with the couple then the hall. I would never give a cheaper gift b/c it was a less expensive hall so to be fair I can't give a more generous gift b/c its a more expensive hall.
If my good friend got married and had a bbq dinner in her backyard... I would give the same to her as if another close friend got married at Oheka.
I'm glad to hear you and some other people say this. I couldn't agree more and it troubles me when other people say they base their gifts of how much they think it cost the Bride and Groom. It's a "gift" and you are a "guest" since when did people decide that you have to pay to attend someone's wedding. The idea of giving cash instead of a gift troubles me, but I've come to realize that's the way here and I've gotten used to that, but I think I should have to give someone a $600 gift just because they decided to spend a fortune on their wedding. We always try to give the same unless the relationship is different.
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Posted 7/18/05 12:37 PM
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becks23
I'm an ole' married lady!
Member since 6/04 1672 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/15/2005 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
Posted by Blu-ize
I usually give a set amount regardless of how much I think the per head was. It doesn't matter if it's at a fancy country club where the plate costs $200 or a place where the per head is $80. It's more about my relationship with the bride and groom and family.
Totally agree.
I feel that with most weddings I go to, what we give more than likely ends up covering the plate, but I don't base it on that.
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Posted 7/18/05 12:44 PM
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KimberlyBride
How did I get so lucky?
Member since 2/04 8871 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/15/2005 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
I give what I can afford and expect that of my guests also. I am not asking for more money based on the place I am having it at. Like one of my friends says "This is not a fundraiser!"
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Posted 7/18/05 12:46 PM
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melissaandsean
bestdayever
Member since 2/04 2228 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Beach Club Estate, Ronkonkoma - A+
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
Posted by KimberlyBride
I give what I can afford and expect that of my guests also. I am not asking for more money based on the place I am having it at. Like one of my friends says "This is not a fundraiser!"
ditto that!
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Posted 7/18/05 1:40 PM
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foofy
Happily Married!!!
Member since 3/05 1798 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2006 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: QOTD: Now that we know how much things cost, do you feel you have to cover your plate when you are a guest at a wedding?
I always try to give what I can afford, they should not be expecting everyone to cover there plate...
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Posted 7/18/05 1:48 PM
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