Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

MY FMIL is hinting around (and straight out asking at this point) if she can be with me, my bridal party, and my mom on the morning of our wedding.

I am getting ready in my hotel room in the city with my bridal party and mom.

I feel that I really didn't want ANYONE from his family seeing me prior to the Church... Other than his sister, who is a bridesmaid. Is it unreasonable for me to feel this way? Anyone else feel this way?

What's customary?

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

It's totally your call, and understandable that you want to be with just family, and it's a little rude for her to push.
She should be with her husband and your FH in case the photographer wants to take pics of them before the church.
My sister got around this by giving her FMIL a gift certificate to get her hair/nails done the morning of the wedding. Just a suggestion!

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

I can totally understand where you are coming from, I think she just wants to be close to you the morning off. My MIL came to my hair salon and hung out with me and my BMs for a little bit. She was so happy to see me before.

ps - I did end up sort of telling her she had to go - cause she kept making me cry (she cried almost the whole time she was there)

We laugh about it now.

It is completely up to you. I would tell her how you feel either way. Good Luck.

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

I invited FMIL to come to my house and get her hair done with me and the bridesmaids that morning...She doesn't want to and that really made me upset because I thought she would want to be included...Oh well!

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

I'm curious as to why she wouldn't want to be with her son while he's getting ready?

It's a little strange to me, but IMO, I agree, it's your call to make.

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

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Posted by LFitzy79

It's totally your call, and understandable that you want to be with just family, and it's a little rude for her to push.
She should be with her husband and your FH in case the photographer wants to take pics of them before the church.
My sister got around this by giving her FMIL a gift certificate to get her hair/nails done the morning of the wedding. Just a suggestion!

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I like the gift certificate suggestion a lot - THANKS... i wonder if it is too late for me to try to work that in subtley. I will try.

The other thing is, she can't be with her husband b/c he is actually divorced... but she's a big girl. I mean, she won't be alone that long - we have a ceremony and reception to be together most of the night and day....

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

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Posted by MissingTheBGene

I'm curious as to why she wouldn't want to be with her son while he's getting ready?

It's a little strange to me, but IMO, I agree, it's your call to make.

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I think that's weird too...

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

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Posted by ladybug78

I invited FMIL to come to my house and get her hair done with me and the bridesmaids that morning...She doesn't want to and that really made me upset because I thought she would want to be included...Oh well!

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Well . . . I'm SO JEALOUS OF YOU!

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

Good question, My MIL is deceased but I would think she would want to be with HER son getting ready and the guys too, in that case I would have sent a photographer to his house, but he and the guys and his dad got ready in the hotel. DH and I lived together b4 the wedding, so I was home with the girls and my family, but if my MIL wanted to be with me I would let her- trust me- there is so much commotion you prob wont notice her too much, I had my grandparents at the house and the mothers of the lil girls and jrbm's so there was a lot of people in the house. I couldnt even tell you who was where I was so busy! GL with your decision, I think I would let her in on this one- she may throw in your face when your pregnant and she wants to be in the roomat delivery too that you didnt let her in on the wedding day the 'other' important day of your life!!!! this way if you just want YOUR mom and DH you can say I had you a part of my wedding day this is just for my mom, hope you can understand-

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

Since I am getting married at the reception hall, My FIL's are going to meet us before the ceremony to take pictures. I think you should do what YOU want, no matter what anyone else thinks. It's YOUR day

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

I invited her to have her hair & makeup done with me and my mom and the other BMs. I wanted to include her. Were great friends!

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

Mine will be with the rest of the guests at the hotel where the reception is, I will not see her until I walk down the aisle.

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

Mu MIL was with her son and husband...as well as the rest of 'her side' of the BP. They all got ready at her house. I also invited her to come to mine and she declined...oh well!

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Posted by ladybug78

I invited FMIL to come to my house and get her hair done with me and the bridesmaids that morning...She doesn't want to and that really made me upset because I thought she would want to be included...Oh well!

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Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

Mine will be in her home with her husband and her mother and her 2 daughters fighting for shower time in a 5 bedroom house with only one working shower before they are LATE yes LATE for pictures to be taken at approximately 5 pm. I told FH if they are late for the pictures before the ceremony (at 7:30) then there will be no pictures of his family. We are paying too much to miss our cocktail hour because of bad time management skills.

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

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Posted by BHW

I think it's nice that she wants to be there with you and I can understand why she may not want to be around all of the guys getting ready.

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Unless you're really dead set against it, I think it would be nice for her to be there with you, especially since she seems to want too. She must obviously feel close to you and that's a good sign for your relationship.
As for what I did... my BM spent the night before the wedding at the hotel with me. Then my parents and my IL's came out in the morning. My mom had her hair done by my hairdresser and both moms had their makeup done by my friend.
To be honest, I wouldn't have noticed too much if she was there or not. You have enough on your mind that day, that little things don't even effect you.

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

I think that everyone has different relationships with the FMILs -- we did not chose them, they are not like friends, we fell in love with their sons. I think you are very fortunate if you get along with you FMIL but, just as really close friends are hard to find, I think a close relationship with your FMIL is not an easy thing and should not be expected. (That was all in response to previous messages).

That being said, I think that if you want that time without her (and I certainly would not want my FMIL there -- although I have a feeling that will be a battle with my mama's boy FH) then just tell her that you kind of want to surprise her and her just to see the before and after, you know? Maybe you could have the FH drop a couple of hints like 'My FW is soooo stressed... she just found out there are going to be soooo many people getting ready in her hotel room. She is practically in tears...etc.' Good luck with you... and worst case scenario -- you will be sooo busy you won't even realize she is there

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

No way no how would I have wanted my MIL with me getting ready. She should be with her son! That's just odd.

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

I hope w/me. But she would probably want to be w/ her son

Re: Where will your FMIL be on the morning of your wedding day?

she will get makeup and hair done with the girls but then she will go to hotel with her son