Stress. Need advice (Very Long)

So I may be jumping to conclusions here, but I need advice for something that may happen tomorrow. I am im-ing withone of my bm's last night and she asks if I can go to her house on Friday, she needs to talk to me but wants to do it in person. I ask her what it's about and she says wedding related and won't say anything else. I ask her sister today who happens to be my MOH and she thinks it may be regarding us not having kids at the wedding. The BM's daughter will be 3 yrs when we get married. So I do not plan on backing down because I have a lot of kids on my side who will not be able to come. Sorry I should probably mention that BM is FH's cousin. So I cannot let her bring her baby just because. Even though I am not sure this is why she wants to talk to me I need advice on how to handle. I need to be prepared. It may seem weird but that's just me. I also should mention that my BM hold grudges. I have a feeling that the evening will not go well if this is what she wants to talk about. Please help.

Sorry it was so long. Thanks to those who read the whole thing!

Re: Stress. Need advice (Very Long)

I hate confrontations too so I can imagine what you're going thru right now. first off don't jump to conclusions because she might want to talk about something totally different so don't make yourself nervous all day thinking about it. if your assumptions are right and she does want to ask you about bringing her daughter simply tell her that you are not allowing anyone (even from your side of the family) to bring children because it's a choice that you and FH made together and if you make an exception for her then it wouldn't be fair for everyone else. i can see her holding grudges if you were doing something deliberately to her but that's not the case at all so she has no grounds for holding grudges or getting angry with you. i'm sure everything will go fine

Re: Stress. Need advice (Very Long)

My advice to you is to stand your ground. If she cannot take what you have to say and she cannot control herself the remainder of your wedding planning, ask her to step down from her position of BM. You do not need that added stress.

Re: Stress. Need advice (Very Long)

If that is the case, just be honest with her and tell her how you feel.

It amazes me how many people want to bring their kids to weddings! I'm lucky that the people I'm closest with are excited to leave their kids at home to have a good time with adults.

Also, do you think she might be planning on having another child?

Re: Stress. Need advice (Very Long)

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Posted by ali120206

If that is the case, just be honest with her and tell her how you feel.

It amazes me how many people want to bring their kids to weddings! I'm lucky that the people I'm closest with are excited to leave their kids at home to have a good time with adults.

Also, do you think she might be planning on having another child?

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Funny that you mention that. Before I asked her to be a BM (not that I would mind) she said she wasn't going to get prego for my wedding. And I actually thought that it might be that and I asked her but she said no. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Re: Stress. Need advice (Very Long)

im sure everything will be fine. I agree with Santina, just tell her that it was a decision that you and FH made, and if you make an exception for her it wont be fair to the family on your side that are not bringing their kids. do you think she would want to include her child in your wedding party? and thats what this is all about??

Re: Stress. Need advice (Very Long)

Could she be pregnant? Anyway, stand your ground, if you let one then you'll have to let all....You dont need the added stress...