1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

It seems like everyone on this board talks about having children right after they are married or hopes to. Nothing at all wrong with that...Im just wondering if there are any newlyweds here who definitely do NOT want children are are not sure?

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

We aren't planning to have children. I am dreading all the questions we are going to get though. It's a personal decision and I am not sure why friends and family think it's ok to ask. My grandmother has been looking for great grandchildren for years and I ran out of excuses now that the wedding is over

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

The thought is very scary, I do not have any motherly instincts, I do not go goo goo gaa gaa over babies. I do not know what our future holds but I do not hear my biological clock ticking, maybe mine is broken

We love to travel, I have my volunteer work, I love the freedom that our non-children lifestyle affords us. Waking up late, getting up and going. At times I feel so selfish, but then I say, I have to live the life that makes me happy, and if its supposed to happen it will. Right now I do not see any children in our near future. Thank goodness for an understanding supportive husband. The scriptures are right, God does not give us more than we are able to bear.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

Well, we have 2 and they are the best birth control in the world!!!! No more babies for us! My son will be in college in 2 years, I can't imagine starting over.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

Christine, I know what you mean, at the inlaws for Christmas that is exactly what was being sent my way, words of when are the children coming. How do they know if we can have any or if we can afford it?? Its like the natural progression is marriage then children. I do not like it when people ask that of me. The funny thing is they never seem to ask my husband I need a good answer to give to these people.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

I want children but not anytime soon. I hate it that everybody keeps asking me when will we have a baby. They are in shock when I say 'maybe' 5 years from now. That is so far away they say. The way I see it I am still young (21 yrs old) and there are plenty of things I want to do before have a baby.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

We want children, but not right away. We plan on waiting 3-4 years. Actually there's a joke between Rob and I and he says that I can't try until a month after my 29th birthday, which will be March '05 since I want to try to have my first kid by 30.

I have a few friends that do not want any kids at all. It's a very personal decision and like Shamma wrote, life changing!

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

Shamma, you must have read my mind. I have never heard that clock ticking and we also enjoy our lifestyle and freedom we have since we do not have kids. It's not selfish though, atleast I dont think so. I think it would be more selfish to have kids because you think it's the natural next step and not really be sure or be ready to have them.

Sometimes I make up a really tragic sounding personal reason for not having kids to make the asker feel like they invaded my privacy - which is what they are doing. With my grandmother I just change the subject - I would never be rude to her nor do I want to get into a discussion with her about our decision.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

My friends and I were just discussing this the other night...

DH and I are absolutely sure that we want kids...alot and soon!

A few couples we hang out with do not want children. The reasons are all different...jobs, lifestyles, $$, fear...but are all plausible.

The couples who don't want children all said that they are questioned endlessly about this decision. People can't understand why they'd be childless by choice. It's amazing how people just don't seem to understand how personal this decision is!!

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

For some reason Im starting to agree with some of you ladies. I was all EXCITED about when my hubby said he wanted kids. He didnt want them. After being around my friends babies, and seeing them trying for their second, I wanted one. I still do, dont get me wrong, but we LOVE to travel, and are now starting to hold off a little longer. We were going to try this summer, but not sure.
I think our biggest concern is who is going to watch him/her??? Hubbythinks I will not wantto go back to work, but it scares me to even leave them with my parents. I want to be there when they say their first words, etc.
It is a big committment.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

We got married 2 1/2 years ago and said we'd think about it int 5 years. We're still not ready so we'll have to see what happens in the next 2 1/2 years - maybe our lives will change.

We love our freedom and being married. We also both lead a very hectic life and have very demanding careers.

We have lots of friends with children and we love to visit and care for them, but we're not ready for that commitment for ourselves.

I think lots of couples are not ready to have children right away or at all. It's a personal choice and some people feel the need to invade your personal lives. We just say we're not ready and leave it at that.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

ss2002, you hit the nail right on the head....it is personal and life changing and only the individual doing it can make the decision.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

Thank goodness Im not alone.

I understand how some people dont 'get' that we dont want children any time soon because I dont 'get' why anyone would want children right away.

Once you have children, you life changes so radically - why would you want to jump into a decision like that without having many years to share being alone together? (There are exceptions of course that I totally understand too).

I definitely have a biological clock ticking because it kicks me every once in a while when I see a beautiful baby and its mommy - but then I turn around and see a bratty toddler and idiot parents and I turn on the 'snooze'.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

I agree. I definately have a snooze button built into my 4 year old neice. I don't get it often, but once in a while I feel envious of a beautiful baby and parents.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

Sometimes I wonder what kind of a parent I will be, a wuss or a drill sergeant. Will I have a child that is so rude and wild and not care about the reprecussions of thier actions, will I have a child that embarrases me in public. I am still such a child, I do not know if I am ready to raise someone else. I still want to enjoy the time with my husband.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

We are not planning on children anytime soon. Personally I feel I don't have motherly instincts and I only like certain children not all. A close friend of mine told me it will be different when the child is mine. I also feel like we just got married why have a child now and loose the time we have together.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

Shamma...I THINK the same thing too.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

Another thing that I have been noticing lately too, is how few dads there are that run around with these kids, it seem as if once you have a child the woman is the only one responsible Is a child the woman's responsibility. I see these women on the subway, on the bus and I have to wonder, where are the fathers to help??

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

Thats true too. I don't want to have to change my life upside down and the husband just chill and keep his same lifestyle. Though Steve is always saying he will not be those types of fathers but when he turns on his video games and computer he may forget.

Re: 1/6/03 Question of the Day: Anyone NOT want children or are not sure?

LOL @ Neva, I can just see Roger too at his pc, honey the baby is crying and has been crying for an hour Roger raised his son on his own, and I know he can do it again, but he had no choice then, sometimes I think now he has an option of someone else looking in on the crying baby, he might just take it for granted that it is always my responsibilty always. We have discussed this time and again and he has assured me, but I still feel I will be the child's main parent. That thought is scary. My life has changed and not his