Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

yeah, the wya I see it, black tie optional meansif you have a tux, wear it, if not, dark suit

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by jill13bean

if anything i would do black tie optional... but i would think a band would be more appropriate


if you expect people to go out and spend more money to rent a tux for a formal affair then why whould you not spend more money on entertaining them??? JMHO

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I agree. Personally, I don't think of a formal or black tie affair as having a DJ. I think live music lends a certain elegance to an affair that a DJ, even a good one, cannot.

I think Black Tie Optional would cover the bases because those in your family who have tuxes and ballgowns will wear them and those who don't have them will still realize the formality of the occasion and dress appropriately.
I have never been to a Black Tie affair that had a DJ.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

Do you think, then that if you're haing your affair at a less expensive place, or you have rented si;k flowers, but you have a band, it can still be black tie? I'm really curious. I never thought much about this until now!

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by marymoon

Do you think, then that if you're haing your affair at a less expensive place, or you have rented si;k flowers, but you have a band, it can still be black tie? I'm really curious. I never thought much about this until now!

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Personally, i just think a lot of people dont like being told what to wear.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by lilmrs

Dj and black tie do not go hand in hand

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This is an innacurate statement. You can have a black tie DJ. All they do is just make themselves more 'low key'. They show up in a Tux so they don't stand out.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by Sassyz75

For me personally if I was wearing a ball gown and my husband was renting a tux (as he doesn't own one) i'd rather have a band and the type of elegance and formality it brings then a pasta course and a viennesse. To me, there is formality and elegance that live music brings that cannot be recreated by a DJ.

By the way- While Jamie Lynn DiScala did have a DJ she also had a band - NYC Swing.

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I agree.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by marymoon

Hmm..I don't know. I know they SAY a band adds elegance, but I've never seen a band that I didn't think was cheesy... I'm going to ask around some more.

Has anyone ever been to a 'black tie optional' affair? What did you think of that request? Was there a badn every time? If not, what did you think?

What do you expect when the invite says black tie?

oooh I think that's a good question for another thread

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You're right - there definitely are some WAY cheesy bands out there. As someone else said, the more elegant bands and larger orchestras are much more expensive than your basic 5- or 6-piece band. Not that all small bands are bad, or that all big ones are good - but in general, you'll have to spend to get the quality musicians and better, larger bands. And that's definitely the type I'd say is appropriate for a black tie affair.

For other Qs...

The only 'Black Tie Optional' events I've been to are for work, and they've had one or more 'big time' bands. Not that that's always the case, I'm sure...

When an invite says 'Black Tie', it means tuxedos only, and formal gowns for women. 'Black Tie Optional' is similar, but mean can get away with dark suits. For some reason, I don't think it's considered proper etiquette to actually state 'Black Tie Optional' on wedding invites, but I'm sure people do it. I think a better option would be to use wording like 'Formal reception to follow'.

Finally - yes, you're right in that poor food quality or other party aspects (cheesy decor, cash bar) would be inappropriate for a wedding which called for black tie attire - just like a DJ would be out of place. For me at least! Obviously there are alot of different opinions out there - just throwing mine out again.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

I said maybe, and thought a different lang choice might work. How about 'black tie preferred,' 'black tie optional,' or formal reception to follow? I think that as a guest I would be more put off if they had silk flowers than a DJ. (JMHO)

What is custom for your family and his? You don't need a 9 piece band or orchestra. Could you get away with a five piece band? If you had a DJ, I would say no lights/giveaways/ dancers. Have him wear a tux.
Good luck.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by marymoon

Hmm..I don't know. I know they SAY a band adds elegance, but I've never seen a band that I didn't think was cheesy... I'm going to ask around some more.

Has anyone ever been to a 'black tie optional' affair? What did you think of that request? Was there a badn every time? If not, what did you think?

What do you expect when the invite says black tie?

oooh I think that's a good question for another thread

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We had a black tie optional/preferred reception... the majority of our guests wore tuxes because they owned them.. hardly anyone rented tuxes to attend. Yes, we had a band, they were 12 pieces and they weren't cheezy. I agree with you- a lot of wedding bands are REALLY cheezy, you have to do your homework and realize that the good bands that aren't typical 'wedding bands' are going to sent you back some $$$.

in all honesty- if I saw 'black tie' on an invite I'd expect: a band- and a large one at that, formal seating, sorbet between courses, and a hall that only has one event at a time.

if I were invited to a black tie affair on LI I'd probably let my DH go in a dark suit with a black long tie (which is what his wedding tuxedo was like).

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by Sassyz75

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Posted by marymoon

Hmm..I don't know. I know they SAY a band adds elegance, but I've never seen a band that I didn't think was cheesy... I'm going to ask around some more.

Has anyone ever been to a 'black tie optional' affair? What did you think of that request? Was there a badn every time? If not, what did you think?

What do you expect when the invite says black tie?

oooh I think that's a good question for another thread

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We had a black tie optional/preferred reception... the majority of our guests wore tuxes because they owned them.. hardly anyone rented tuxes to attend. Yes, we had a band, they were 12 pieces and they weren't cheezy. I agree with you- a lot of wedding bands are REALLY cheezy, you have to do your homework and realize that the good bands that aren't typical 'wedding bands' are going to sent you back some $$$.

in all honesty- if I saw 'black tie' on an invite I'd expect: a band- and a large one at that, formal seating, sorbet between courses, and a hall that only has one event at a time.

if I were invited to a black tie affair on LI I'd probably let my DH go in a dark suit with a black long tie (which is what his wedding tuxedo was like).

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Us too, we had 'black tie preferred' and had an amazing band that was NOT cheesy by any means... Like other posters said, the music makes the affair and I'm sure you can find a DJ that is classy and leave out the lights, sparklers and props and I'm sure it will be fine.
I personally have not been to a black tie affair that had a DJ but if so, I'm sure I wouldn't think twice about it. You can't please all the people all the time.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

A DJ doesn't make an affair less 'classy' or 'elegant'. JMO

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

Not for nothing you all have a lot of balls saying that a DJ isnt appropriate for a black tie affair when you are SO nerv that you schedule your wedding on Friday to inconvenience everyone from work and Sundays so no one can have fun and drink. The only reason you are getting a band is because your day is cheap, just like you. Ive been to 500K weddings with Djs - all the really matters is that you have a Sat night hot time affair. Onlyfuddy duddies party it up and inconvenience all their guests. So only an idiot wouyld schedule a black tie affair that wasnt held on a Sat.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by ars194

Not for nothing you all have a lot of balls saying that a DJ isnt appropriate for a black tie affair when you are SO nerv that you schedule your wedding on Friday to inconvenience everyone from work and Sundays so no one can have fun and drink. The only reason you are getting a band is because your day is cheap, just like you. Ive been to 500K weddings with Djs - all the really matters is that you have a Sat night hot time affair. Onlyfuddy duddies party it up and inconvenience all their guests. So only an idiot wouyld schedule a black tie affair that wasnt held on a Sat.

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Was this reply necessary??? Jeez. Take some Midol or something.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

The wedding I went to a few weeks ago had Bravura. They are a DJ but they also had a girl singing as a guy played the keyboards and another played the sax. How about something like that?

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

Sure was - you got some people on here braggin that their cheap affair is Black tie and and so classy because they have a band. Meanwhile they are having weddings that arent even on Sat nights?? I mean who ever heard of that. I work in PR and would be mortified to invite someone to a black tie affair on a SUNDAY DAY?? FRIDAY NIGHT? That is more ridiculous than anything I ever heard. If you like a band get a band, if you like a dj get a DJ, but dont run your mouth if youre cheaping out and having a Sunday wedding. No ones gona have fun - they ll be worrying about their work tomorrow.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by ars194

Not for nothing you all have a lot of balls saying that a DJ isnt appropriate for a black tie affair when you are SO nerv that you schedule your wedding on Friday to inconvenience everyone from work and Sundays so no one can have fun and drink. The only reason you are getting a band is because your day is cheap, just like you. Ive been to 500K weddings with Djs - all the really matters is that you have a Sat night hot time affair. Onlyfuddy duddies party it up and inconvenience all their guests. So only an idiot wouyld schedule a black tie affair that wasnt held on a Sat.

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If you worked in NYC PR then you would know that most of the HOT weddings done in the city aren't even done on weekends at all- the hottest night is Thursday.

In addition- there aren't many TRUE black tie affairs oon Long Island- IMO a true black tie is a gala event- and more often than not a gala event has a band.

I'd rather have a Friday night affair at a nice hall then a Saturday night affair at the Knights of Columbus

Lastly- the majority of guests are at my wedding were musicians.,,, and what do you think THEIR busiest work night is... A SATURDAY. So was I inconveniencing MY guests.. don't think so.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by ars194

Not for nothing you all have a lot of balls saying that a DJ isnt appropriate for a black tie affair when you are SO nerv that you schedule your wedding on Friday to inconvenience everyone from work and Sundays so no one can have fun and drink. The only reason you are getting a band is because your day is cheap, just like you. Ive been to 500K weddings with Djs - all the really matters is that you have a Sat night hot time affair. Onlyfuddy duddies party it up and inconvenience all their guests. So only an idiot wouyld schedule a black tie affair that wasnt held on a Sat.

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Who are you even talking to?
Are you posting to answer the question, or to insult someone on the thread?
If it's the latter, I'd suggest a nap to put yourself in a better mood....or a Midol, as someone else suggested.



marymoon - I prefer a band no matter what day or time the weddin gis, that's just my personal preference....we had a band and it MADE the wedding.....it was a Saturday afternoon - and the dance floor was PACKED the entire time.
There are some bands that are more affordable than others, although not as inexpensive as DJ's are.....I'd say look at both bands and DJs and see what you prefer!
And, I forgot to add - I like the idea of 'Formal Reception to follow'...I think it seems less pushy and less like you're telling people what to wear

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

Whoa...this thread is getting out of control.

MaryMoon...DJ's or bands can both be cheesy or classy, it's just a matter of finding the right one. Whatever you choose will be great.

I think 'black-tie optional' or 'formal reception' is the way to go on your invites.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

I think if your family's norm is black tie events, won't they expect a band? I personally could not do black tie, I think it sends the message immediately that this is going to be a total frills affair, and I could not afford that. So if I were doing a black tie event/gala whatever, I would do a band. The black tie events that your family normally attends, are they dj or band?