Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

Oh, I am so sorry. But this definitely has to be a conversation between your FH and his mother. You are not the one who should talk to your FMIL. Leave that to your FH, whatever you both decide.

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by EmberLynn

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Posted by 12-3Princess

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Posted by eogara

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Posted by EmberLynn

Look I think what she is doing isn't nesscary right, BUT it really none of our businesses what she is doing with that married man. I hate to say it but its true. We also don't the cirumstances of his marriage. I've met older couples who remain married for religious reason, their children, money etc.. but they do each have private lovers respectfully not flanting it to the other. Granted this may not be something looked up upon, but it might be whats best for their family. Who are we all to judge. Talk to your FH and descide what you shoujld do. But I would leave it alone.

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I see your point in theory. However, her FMIL and this man are essentially making a mockery of marriage and wedding vows by carrying on while he is married, which is bad enough. To carry on in this way at her own son's wedding is just completely wrong IMO. While maybe people shouldn't pass judgement on her (although that would be pretty hard to do), they also don't have to be slapped in the face with it either, which is what bringing him to the wedding would do.

Princess, I would absolutely positively tell her that you do not feel that this is an appropriate venue for their relationship to become public. And if she gets mad, tell her to go scratch. This is not something that should be negotiable.

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THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!

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I understand, but realise she is going to be your mother-in-law for as long as she lives. Again talk to your FH and try to figure out what you should do. Explain how you feel, but just like we all have trouble with family, FIL's, friends, BP etc... you have this headache. Remember no matter who she brings, its your marriage and no elses. But first talk to your FH, before you do anything else.

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true. I'm so mad at her for even putting us in this position.

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

Is this man that she is bringing married and separated? Or is he living with his current wife?

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

Could you make a compermise. Maybe going as strictly friends?

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

Why don't you and FH pay a visit to Mr. married man and tell him you don't want to cause problems, but you would like him to decline FMIL's invite to your wedding, as you feel it is wrong...and tell him you don't want your FMIL finding out that you told him this and if he tells her...you'll pay his wife a visit!!

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by Boop2704

Why don't you and FH pay a visit to Mr. married man and tell him you don't want to cause problems, but you would like him to decline FMIL's invite to your wedding, as you feel it is wrong...and tell him you don't want your FMIL finding out that you told him this and if he tells her...you'll pay his wife a visit!!

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How close is your FH with his mom. If he is anything like my FH (who flat out hates his mother) then do that. But if he is close to her then I wouldn't do this. It could cause issues. Don't let this dstory your relationship with your FH.

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by lindz

Is this man that she is bringing married and separated? Or is he living with his current wife?

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HE IS VERY MARRIED AND LIVING WITH HIS CURRENT WIFE, WHO HAS NO IDEA HE IS INVITED TO THIS WEDDING!!!

A while back, FMIL tried to get me to send an invite to his WORK and I had FH tell her no way!!! It's with his wife or nothing... So now she's taken it upon herself to invite him as her guest!!!

whoever said she is so immature and shouldn't be doing this - and should just suck it up and be alone for one night because this is about US not her - whoever said that earlier today was SO right.

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by Boop2704

Why don't you and FH pay a visit to Mr. married man and tell him you don't want to cause problems, but you would like him to decline FMIL's invite to your wedding, as you feel it is wrong...and tell him you don't want your FMIL finding out that you told him this and if he tells her...you'll pay his wife a visit!!

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Uh , IMO dont do this.. You guys going over to this other guys house and interfering like that could cause a whole set of other problems!
Unless you already know him well and felt you could talk to this other man, leave it up to your FH to talk to his mom about it and let her know your issues. Don't make this worse than it already is by sneaking around like that (or you could say stoop to her level )

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by 12-3Princess

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Posted by lindz

Is this man that she is bringing married and separated? Or is he living with his current wife?

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HE IS VERY MARRIED AND LIVING WITH HIS CURRENT WIFE, WHO HAS NO IDEA HE IS INVITED TO THIS WEDDING!!!

A while back, FMIL tried to get me to send an invite to his WORK and I had FH tell her no way!!! It's with his wife or nothing... So now she's taken it upon herself to invite him as her guest!!!

whoever said she is so immature and shouldn't be doing this - and should just suck it up and be alone for one night because this is about US not her - whoever said that earlier today was SO right.

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HOW IS YOUR FH RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOM? WHAT DOES HE THINK?

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by EmberLynn

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Posted by 12-3Princess

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Posted by lindz

Is this man that she is bringing married and separated? Or is he living with his current wife?

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HE IS VERY MARRIED AND LIVING WITH HIS CURRENT WIFE, WHO HAS NO IDEA HE IS INVITED TO THIS WEDDING!!!

A while back, FMIL tried to get me to send an invite to his WORK and I had FH tell her no way!!! It's with his wife or nothing... So now she's taken it upon herself to invite him as her guest!!!

whoever said she is so immature and shouldn't be doing this - and should just suck it up and be alone for one night because this is about US not her - whoever said that earlier today was SO right.

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HOW IS YOUR FH RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOM? WHAT DOES HE THINK?

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FH loves his mom. However, he knows she is 100% wrong here, and is disgusted with her for this.

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

In all honesty, as bad as is suc_s, she is entitled to bring whomever she wants. It's her date. I know it may be weird, but believe me, you won't even notice anything around you since you'll be so wrapped up in yoru own sacred day. My advice...I would leave it. If ANYONE is going to say anything it shoudl be be FH, not you or FSIL....

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by EmberLynn

Could you make a compermise. Maybe going as strictly friends?

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I would NOT comprimise your position on this! She's 100% making a mockery out of marriage.

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by FallBride05

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Posted by EmberLynn

Could you make a compermise. Maybe going as strictly friends?

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I would NOT comprimise your position on this! She's 100% making a mockery out of marriage.

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personally I would let it be. I don't agree what shes doing, but in all honesty, i agree withe post on top.
She'll hardly notice with all the attention and happiness of this wonderful day. She is making no less a mockery of marriage than if she were divorsed. I KNOW THERE WILL PEOPLE DISAGREEING WITH ME. I was told by someone not to invite my parents to my wedding because divorsed people bring bad luck and are a mockery of marriage and quitters. Guess what my parents are invited. In all honesty I really think we should hear what her FH has to say about this before we debate further. He knows his mother better than all of us.

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by DayBeforeThanksgiving

In all honesty, as bad as is suc_s, she is entitled to bring whomever she wants. It's her date. I know it may be weird, but believe me, you won't even notice anything around you since you'll be so wrapped up in yoru own sacred day. My advice...I would leave it. If ANYONE is going to say anything it shoudl be be FH, not you or FSIL....

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I agree 100%

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by 12-3Princess

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Posted by EmberLynn

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Posted by 12-3Princess

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Posted by lindz

Is this man that she is bringing married and separated? Or is he living with his current wife?

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HE IS VERY MARRIED AND LIVING WITH HIS CURRENT WIFE, WHO HAS NO IDEA HE IS INVITED TO THIS WEDDING!!!

A while back, FMIL tried to get me to send an invite to his WORK and I had FH tell her no way!!! It's with his wife or nothing... So now she's taken it upon herself to invite him as her guest!!!

whoever said she is so immature and shouldn't be doing this - and should just suck it up and be alone for one night because this is about US not her - whoever said that earlier today was SO right.

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HOW IS YOUR FH RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOM? WHAT DOES HE THINK?

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FH loves his mom. However, he knows she is 100% wrong here, and is disgusted with her for this.

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Then he should deal with this. My FH and I have an agreement. We deal with our own parents. Let him deal with it. Its very important he does. There comes a time in EVERY marriage where a man has to stand up for his bride and himself agaist his parents. Its NEVER easy, but he needs to deal with this on his own. Be supportive, but how he deals with, will relfect the rest of your marriage.

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by eogara

Princess, I would absolutely positively tell her that you do not feel that this is an appropriate venue for their relationship to become public. And if she gets mad, tell her to go scratch. This is not something that should be negotiable.

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I totally agree. How ironic...Adultery at a wedding

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

I don't think she is making any sort of mockery OUT OF YOUR MARRIAGE! He's the adulterer. She's having an affair with a married man. These things have NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU and your wedding.

Yes - she should be big enough to just go alone. I agree. Yes - she should have thought about this a bit differently. But ya know what - she didn't and you can't change that. You can sit here and let it ruin the last few weeks of your engagement. Or you could sit here and vent about it, and then let it go and move on! This woman is not just 'any' woman...she's the mother of your future husband and no matter what - there's NO getting away from that.

You and your FH love each other and repect one another and NO MATTER WHO IS WATCHING YOUR CEREMONY - they have NO EFFECT whatsoever on the vows YOU say to one another. Or on the 'sanctity' of marriage.

That's like saying if there is anyone on your guest list who has an open marriage (and believe me, there could very well be people there who DO!) can't watch your ceremony because their beliefs are different then yours? So if you have a catholic ceremony, would the presence of non-catholics take away from your wedding? All your guests are not perfect and they all have different beliefs and opinions that might not be inline with yours and FH's - but that doesn't make your wedding any different. Your wedding is just that - YOUR WEDDING!

I'm truly sorry you are so upset about this. But you do have a choice. You can choose to let this bother you or you can say ya know what - this is about FH and I and we aren't going to LET ANYONE ruin our special time! Hang in there!

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by EmberLynn

Then he should deal with this. My FH and I have an agreement. We deal with our own parents. Let him deal with it. Its very important he does. There comes a time in EVERY marriage where a man has to stand up for his bride and himself agaist his parents. Its NEVER easy, but he needs to deal with this on his own. Be supportive, but how he deals with, will relfect the rest of your marriage.

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I completely agree! It's his place to say something. It's his mother. And no matter what - that will never change!

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

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Posted by melissaandsean

I don't think she is making any sort of mockery OUT OF YOUR MARRIAGE! He's the adulterer. She's having an affair with a married man. These things have NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU and your wedding.

Yes - she should be big enough to just go alone. I agree. Yes - she should have thought about this a bit differently. But ya know what - she didn't and you can't change that. You can sit here and let it ruin the last few weeks of your engagement. Or you could sit here and vent about it, and then let it go and move on! This woman is not just 'any' woman...she's the mother of your future husband and no matter what - there's NO getting away from that.

You and your FH love each other and repect one another and NO MATTER WHO IS WATCHING YOUR CEREMONY - they have NO EFFECT whatsoever on the vows YOU say to one another. Or on the 'sanctity' of marriage.

That's like saying if there is anyone on your guest list who has an open marriage (and believe me, there could very well be people there who DO!) can't watch your ceremony because their beliefs are different then yours? So if you have a catholic ceremony, would the presence of non-catholics take away from your wedding? All your guests are not perfect and they all have different beliefs and opinions that might not be inline with yours and FH's - but that doesn't make your wedding any different. Your wedding is just that - YOUR WEDDING!

I'm truly sorry you are so upset about this. But you do have a choice. You can choose to let this bother you or you can say ya know what - this is about FH and I and we aren't going to LET ANYONE ruin our special time! Hang in there!

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I agree 100%

Re: FMIL WANTS TO BRING A MARRIED MAN as a GUEST TO OUR WEDDING

Can't believe she wants to FLAUNT him around so EVERYONE can know! What does FH say about the whole thing! Poor You!

Maybe you can push that there are going to be so many family pics and stuff that now is not the BEST time to bring him.....GOOD LUCK!