Wedding Forums > Brides Helping Brides ™ > I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
dm24angel
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:03 PM+
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:03 PM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Is there truly no-one else you could ask to stay with your daughter?
AJsMommy122
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:49 PM+
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:49 PM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by Marisa&Brian
Why can't you leave your daughter w/ a friend ? or a trusted member of you FH's family ? There has to be someone else who can babysit - She's 2 ........I could understand if she were 2 weeks or 2 months. -
Try to understand your friend's situation as well - I know you're in a bad spot- and I don't know her situation, but personally, i'd have to be explaining myself all night if ONE child was @ the wedding b/c there are about 25 in my family !
Not to be mean but I totally disagree with you!!
I totally understand where she is coming from b/c my son is 15 months old and he stays with NO ONE but me or my FIL'S. Occasionally my mom if its an emergency but someone else's wedding should not come before your own child and who you feel comfortable leaving them with. Honestly if people cant understand that ( obviously a very close friend for her to be in the BP) had an emergency and their child had to come with them then they are pathetic and need to get a life. you are not at a wedding to b*tch and complain about every little thing. they should be there to have fun and not worry about everyone else.
Marisa&Brian
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:55 PM+
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:55 PM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by Soon2bMsZ
Posted by Marisa&Brian
Why can't you leave your daughter w/ a friend ? or a trusted member of you FH's family ? There has to be someone else who can babysit - She's 2 ........I could understand if she were 2 weeks or 2 months. -
Try to understand your friend's situation as well - I know you're in a bad spot- and I don't know her situation, but personally, i'd have to be explaining myself all night if ONE child was @ the wedding b/c there are about 25 in my family !
Not to be mean but I totally disagree with you!!
I totally understand where she is coming from b/c my son is 15 months old and he stays with NO ONE but me or my FIL'S. Occasionally my mom if its an emergency but someone else's wedding should not come before your own child and who you feel comfortable leaving them with. Honestly if people cant understand that ( obviously a very close friend for her to be in the BP) had an emergency and their child had to come with them then they are pathetic and need to get a life. you are not at a wedding to b*tch and complain about every little thing. they should be there to have fun and not worry about everyone else.
Well, maybe I see it differently b/c I don't hae kids - I may change my tune in a few years. -
OSCARtheGROOM
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:58 PM+
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:58 PM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by 04Bride
ok this is crazy its not liek you are just bringing her b/c you want to you have no choice and you are in the BP. I hate when brides get like this all selfish and BRIDEZILLA like .
I hope you mil mom is ok and that thigs work out for you!!!
I agree!!!
GIGIBRIDE04
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 09:33 PM+
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 09:33 PM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Not to be mean but I totally disagree with you!!I totally understand where she is coming from b/c my son is 15 months old and he stays with NO ONE but me or my FIL'S. Occasionally my mom if its an emergency but someone else's wedding should not come before your own child and who you feel comfortable leaving them with. Honestly if people cant understand that ( obviously a very close friend for her to be in the BP) had an emergency and their child had to come with them then they are pathetic and need to get a life. you are not at a wedding to b*tch and complain about every little thing. they should be there to have fun and not worry about everyone else.
THANKS... I TOTALLY AGREE
IreneinChicago
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 09:46 PM+
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 09:46 PM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
I agree with you that she was rude in what she told you, she definately should have been more sensitive. But I totally disagree with some of the comments that she's a B for not allowing you to bring you daughter.I feel that for 6 hours of her life a bride can have her day the way she wants it. I don't think that's a lot to ask. JMO
Hope your FMIL gets better. Good luck!!!
oakslady
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 10:20 PM+
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 10:20 PM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by IreneinChicago
I agree with you that she was rude in what she told you, she definately should have been more sensitive. But I totally disagree with some of the comments that she's a B for not allowing you to bring you daughter.
I feel that for 6 hours of her life a bride can have her day the way she wants it. I don't think that's a lot to ask. JMO
Hope your FMIL gets better. Good luck!!!
i agree if it was a last min thing it may be different but you have time to find someone to watch her . . . you knew ahead of time there werent any kids - you cant be mad at her for staying with that - i think you are being very unfair to your friend by wanting her to rearrange things for you. she will then have to explain to every single person who is at the wedding who wanted to bring their kids why yours is there- i for one wouldnt want to spend my reception arguing with people - sorry jmo but what goes for one is for all - you knew ahead of time.
AJsMommy122
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 11:57 PM+
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 11:57 PM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by IreneinChicago
I agree with you that she was rude in what she told you, she definately should have been more sensitive. But I totally disagree with some of the comments that she's a B for not allowing you to bring you daughter.
I feel that for 6 hours of her life a bride can have her day the way she wants it. I don't think that's a lot to ask. JMO
Hope your FMIL gets better. Good luck!!!
the world does not revolve around you b/c its you wedding day and no one can EVER have everything their way just b/c its their wedding day. that actually sounds pretty silly to me. People need to get over themselves and stop thinking that their wedding is the most important thing going on in EVERYONE around them's lives just b/c its important to you and other people are happy for you dosent mean others have to bend over backwards to do things your way.
juju
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 12:14 AM+
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
MY Husband's Cousin almost didn't come to our wedding because at the last minute they did not have a sitter. I went ahead and allowed the kids to come. I totally didn't mind.
IreneinChicago
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 12:26 AM+
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 12:26 AM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by Soon2bMsZ
the world does not revolve around you b/c its you wedding day and no one can EVER have everything their way just b/c its their wedding day. that actually sounds pretty silly to me. People need to get over themselves and stop thinking that their wedding is the most important thing going on in EVERYONE around them's lives just b/c its important to you and other people are happy for you dosent mean others have to bend over backwards to do things your way.
I think a couple/couple's family have absolutely every right to decide who they want and don't want at her wedding. After spending thousands of dollars, they have the right to have the wedding be as perfect as they can, especially over things they can control. I hear stories all the time of how people thought it was appropriate to bring friends they were staying with, kids, etc. who weren't invited. It adds not only an extra expense, but is outright rude, unless it was agreed upon in advance.
I know that there are other circumstances in this particular situation, but guests don't choose who they feel they want to bring if they weren't invited. (Not that I think you're going to do that.) I know that children are always a touchy subject on the board especially for those who have them. But I firmly believe that its still up to the couple to decide who they invite.
This isn't intended to be harsh, but her cousin may have been insensitive but her decision was certainly hers to make.
skew
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 07:33 AM+
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 07:33 AM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by Stavia
I'm really sorry for your situation, but I think you have to just respect the wishes of the bride & try not to take it personally. She may be in a situation were if she lets you bring your daughter, it will bring up issues w/ other guests(everyone will not be aware of your situation). And if she seemed unsympathetic, keep in mind its her wedding in 3 days & she has lots to worry about & you just added one more thing to that list. I hope everything works out for you.
I agree. If there is a 'no kids' policy, some people might be very offended if an exception is made. people are often quick to make judgment w/o knowledge of the whole story.
do you have a close friend that can watch your daughter?
ETA:
to you and your FMIL's mother
eogara
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 08:49 AM+
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 08:49 AM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by skew
I agree. If there is a 'no kids' policy, some people might be very offended if an exception is made. people are often quick to make judgment w/o knowledge of the whole story.
do you have a close friend that can watch your daughter?
ETA:
I have to say I totally agree. While I think it was fine for you to ask her if your daughter can come, it's also fine for her to say no. It is a no kids wedding and like someone said before, not having a babysitter three days before the event is not an 'emergency.'
As for the whole 'you don't have kids, you don't know' attitude from some people, I think that's a load of crap, sorry. I have a million nieces and nephews and cousins and not one person would expect this exception to have been made for their 2 year old if there were no kids at their wedding. I certainly will not be changing my tune when I have children and you can't expect this couple whose wedding it is to change theirs either. I would have said the same thing - leave her home with your FH.
Rainmama
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:02 AM+
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:02 AM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by Soon2bMsZ
Posted by Marisa&Brian
Why can't you leave your daughter w/ a friend ? or a trusted member of you FH's family ? There has to be someone else who can babysit - She's 2 ........I could understand if she were 2 weeks or 2 months. -
Try to understand your friend's situation as well - I know you're in a bad spot- and I don't know her situation, but personally, i'd have to be explaining myself all night if ONE child was @ the wedding b/c there are about 25 in my family !
Not to be mean but I totally disagree with you!!
I totally understand where she is coming from b/c my son is 15 months old and he stays with NO ONE but me or my FIL'S. Occasionally my mom if its an emergency but someone else's wedding should not come before your own child and who you feel comfortable leaving them with. Honestly if people cant understand that ( obviously a very close friend for her to be in the BP) had an emergency and their child had to come with them then they are pathetic and need to get a life. you are not at a wedding to b*tch and complain about every little thing. they should be there to have fun and not worry about everyone else.
I'm in the same boat as both of you ladies. My 17 mo old daughter stays with me and my FH ONLY! Occasionally she'll spend an hour here or there with my mom or sister...but never for 6 hours at a time!
I personally would consider this an 'emergency' if it were to happen to me. And I'd hope that my friend would be understanding enough to allow me to bring my daughter. There would be no way I could just find a babysitter to watch my daughter in 3 days. I don't trust anyone enough. Maybe I'm a little over-protective....but my daughter's well-being comes before any wedding.
Good luck!!
GIGIBRIDE04
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:13 AM+
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:13 AM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU RAINMAMAI GUESS PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN DON'T REALIZE THAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD
AJsMommy122
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:28 AM+
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:28 AM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by GIGIBRIDE04
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU RAINMAMA
I GUESS PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN DON'T REALIZE THAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE THE MOST INPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD
They will understand in a few years
some brides act like hitler on their wedding day!! hahahaha every little thing is ohmigod at my wedding??!? thats not elegant!!! haha your not royalty get over it !! lol ITS JUST A WEDDING!
Sometimes people who dont have families dont see the 'big picture' I might be the same way if I didnt have my son.... and I would hope someone would slap some sence into me and show me how silly I look!
GIGIBRIDE04
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:33 AM+
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:33 AM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
OMG!!!! SOON2BMRSZ, YOU ARE TO FUNNY. I AGREE WITH YOU 100%
ChristineC68
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:38 AM+
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:38 AM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
I'm sorry you are in this situation and while the bride was rude in her response I feel it is her right to say no. I hope you are able to work out a viable solution.What I am wondering is why you wouldn't have someone you trust in reserve for emergencies? God parents, best friends, people assigned to be legal guardians - none of these people are trustworthy enough to babysit for a couple of hours?
My friends with children of course prefer close family members to watch them but I have on many occasions babysat for them.
Of course this is none of my business. I guess I am sort of thinking out loud here.
AJsMommy122
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:43 AM+
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:43 AM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by ChristineC68
I'm sorry you are in this situation and while the bride was rude in her response I feel it is her right to say no. I hope you are able to work out a viable solution.
What I am wondering is why you wouldn't have someone you trust in reserve for emergencies? God parents, best friends, people assigned to be legal guardians - none of these people are trustworthy enough to babysit for a couple of hours?
My friends with children of course prefer close family members to watch them but I have on many occasions babysat for them.
Of course this is none of my business. I guess I am sort of thinking out loud here.
you know what it is?? today you cant really trust anyone! Isnt that sad?? but also my son dosent see alot of these people well enough to 'know' them therefor he would throw a fit if I tried to leave him with them. Also people who are not around them often dont know their schedules and little things. My fmil.. I dont have to tell her to feed him this this and that and to only put elmo on once, and to make sure he has a bath, and what to do when he cries. She knows this from spending sooo much time with him. Also some kids can be a handful... I know my son has days where he can drive ME up a wall. But my fmil has patience for him like a saint and never takes her eyes off of him for a second. - I honestly cant say the same thing about anyone else I know ( Besides fh of course!)
september2004
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:48 AM+
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:48 AM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
so instead of the world revolving around the bride, the world revolves around your child? i don't think that is what you mean, but from reading some of these posts it can come off sounding that way...
Posted by GIGIBRIDE04
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU RAINMAMA
I GUESS PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN DON'T REALIZE THAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD
i think people are getting WAY too personal here... it's a difficult situation that i hope you can resolve amicably. if all else fails, you can either just bring your child or stay home. hope everything works out!
AJsMommy122
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:49 AM+
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 09:49 AM
Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT
Posted by september2004so instead of the world revolving around the bride, the world revolves around your child? i don't think that is what you mean, but from reading some of these posts it can come off sounding that way...
Posted by GIGIBRIDE04
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU RAINMAMA
I GUESS PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN DON'T REALIZE THAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD
i think people are getting WAY too personal here... it's a difficult situation that i hope you can resolve amicably. if all else fails, you can either just bring your child or stay home. hope everything works out!
I am not taking it personally at all I think its actually funny. And yes MY world revolves around My child.
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