Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

First of all

Yes this whole wedding planning process is a HUGE eye opener. I practically had to beg my BMs to plan my bachelorette party for me! My MOH had done so much for me I thought it was only fair to ask the other girls to help out. You would think what I asked them for! My family also has been a big letdown. Not my immediate family but aunts and uncles who I swore I was so close with have shown little to no interest. It's very upsetting. This is supposed to be such a happy time!

What does your FH say about this?

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

Sandy, you're not being selfish or unrealistic. Debi has planned her own Bachelorette, because she didn't think anyone was going to. Now she's hoping, they'll pay her back, what she already spent. I feel sorry for the girls who are experiencing these things. I liked your statement about effort. I also like the words, loyal friend, and thoughtful, and even sacrificial love. I was thinking today, as I was drivng about all the issues that cause Brides stress, and thought, 'wouldn't it be great to have tips on one of those electronic billboards, like'

RSVP Do the right thing!!!!

Do not include more guests on the RSVP than have been invited!! Do the right thing!!

Do not ask if more people can come!!!! Do the right thing!!

If a friend gave you the best Bachelorette, how's about showing some reciprocal love and friendship. Do the right thing!!

Moms of Brides and Grooms, wear appropriate dresses or gowns to the wedding!! No white!! No jeans!!!! Do the right thing!!!!!

Bridal Party, don't say yes to being in a wedding until you've given it some thought, but after giving it some thought, for pete sakes, let the Bride and Groom know in adequate time. Do be cooperative!!! Do not be cranky or complaining. Do the right thing!!!!

Please feel free to add to the billboard what you would like the public to know!!! Mary MOB

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

---

Posted by debismom

Sandy, you're not being selfish or unrealistic. Debi has planned her own Bachelorette, because she didn't think anyone was going to. Now she's hoping, they'll pay her back, what she already spent. I feel sorry for the girls who are experiencing these things. I liked your statement about effort. I also like the words, loyal friend, and thoughtful, and even sacrificial love. I was thinking today, as I was drivng about all the issues that cause Brides stress, and thought, 'wouldn't it be great to have tips on one of those electronic billboards, like'

RSVP Do the right thing!!!!

Do not include more guests on the RSVP than have been invited!! Do the right thing!!

Do not ask if more people can come!!!! Do the right thing!!

If a friend gave you the best Bachelorette, how's about showing some reciprocal love and friendship. Do the right thing!!

Moms of Brides and Grooms, wear appropriate dresses or gowns to the wedding!! No white!! No jeans!!!! Do the right thing!!!!!

Bridal Party, don't say yes to being in a wedding until you've given it some thought, but after giving it some thought, for pete sakes, let the Bride and Groom know in adequate time. Do be cooperative!!! Do not be cranky or complaining. Do the right thing!!!!

Please feel free to add to the billboard what you would like the public to know!!! Mary MOB

---

Very wells said

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

---

Posted by Espo22

---

Posted by pameladhd

---

Posted by kristin597

---

Posted by shoegal68

i highly doubt it. basically 2 more weekends left until my wedding. i haven't picked up any hints at all.. all i get is 'there isn't enough time in the day' or 'wait until you have kids'

thanks anyway...

---

Im sorry but thats not an acceptable excuse. They could take you out to dinner or even lunch when their kids are in school. Hire a babysitter or get the fathers to watch the kids, but to do nothing is really not right. I say go out with the friend from work and have a great time!

---

I agree. I have a child. All my girlfriends have children. We still manage to go out and do things. I hate when people use their kids as an excuse. Your child is not standing there with a little clipboard making your schedule, lol. You are the adult. You dictate what goes on and what is scheduled. Get a babysitter, geez. It is not that hard. I feel like some people are just lazy.

I would call whomever you are closest to out of your group and confide in them. Tell that that you are sad that it is FH's bachelor party weekend and you feel like no one is planning anything for you. See what they say.



I hope they are planning something for you as a suprise since it seems like you were very thoughtful about theirs! Good luck!

---

So VERY true so many women after they are married and have kids just don't care to make an effort to do things and its sad because they use the kids as an excuse to get out of it because they think once they say to someone 'well i do have a kid you know its not that easy' uhmmm how about asking your husband or parents or hire a babysitter.

I would buy the whole kid thing but honestly theres so many people that after marriage and having kids, ive heard how they talk about when events come up, its like WAAAAA i would have to buy an outfit then get fixed up and then i have to drive or take public transportation here, then ill go to bed late and waaaaa it will mess up my whole schedule. Some really do become SOOOOOO lazy, and instead of thinking OH WOW this is my close friend and this is HER special time and when it was mine she was there so i am definitely going, they sit there and think UGh why do i have to be inconvenienced . And then throw the whole 'well i am too old for this scene, i have outgrown it, that is all in the past' oh SUCK IT UP!!!!!!! youre not doing it to get back into that lifestyle or making a huge life change its one night and youre doing it to celebrate with your friend. Some people are too self-involved and if its not what they want they dont care to do it, instead of putting their friend first. Who cares if its not your scene anymore, one night wont kill you. That just really annoys me.

---

Amen, Denise!!!!! Mary MOB

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

---

Posted by DNS91308

---

Posted by debismom

Sandy, you're not being selfish or unrealistic. Debi has planned her own Bachelorette, because she didn't think anyone was going to. Now she's hoping, they'll pay her back, what she already spent. I feel sorry for the girls who are experiencing these things. I liked your statement about effort. I also like the words, loyal friend, and thoughtful, and even sacrificial love. I was thinking today, as I was drivng about all the issues that cause Brides stress, and thought, 'wouldn't it be great to have tips on one of those electronic billboards, like'

RSVP Do the right thing!!!!

Do not include more guests on the RSVP than have been invited!! Do the right thing!!

Do not ask if more people can come!!!! Do the right thing!!

If a friend gave you the best Bachelorette, how's about showing some reciprocal love and friendship. Do the right thing!!

Moms of Brides and Grooms, wear appropriate dresses or gowns to the wedding!! No white!! No jeans!!!! Do the right thing!!!!!

Bridal Party, don't say yes to being in a wedding until you've given it some thought, but after giving it some thought, for pete sakes, let the Bride and Groom know in adequate time. Do be cooperative!!! Do not be cranky or complaining. Do the right thing!!!!

Please feel free to add to the billboard what you would like the public to know!!! Mary MOB

---

Very wells said

---

Thank you!!! Please feel free to add more!! Mary MOB

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

---

Posted by carolinebr

I didn't get a bachelorette party either. All my BMs are married and have kids & live far away, etc... I went to all of their shower, bachelorette parties, RDs, weddings, was a BM, went to their baby's showers, etc... and when it was FINALLY my turn ... NOTHING!

I was so disappointed and heartbroken. I completely understand how you feel.

---

Boy, your story sounds like Debi's!! Mary MOB

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

---

Posted by shoegal68

i highly doubt it. basically 2 more weekends left until my wedding. i haven't picked up any hints at all.. all i get is 'there isn't enough time in the day' or 'wait until you have kids'

thanks anyway...

---

I'm soo sorry. I was basically in the same boat. My MOH is married w/kids and was in the process of moving 800 miles away so a BP was the last thing she had time for. We (6 of us) just went to a diner and then a comedy club and she was so rude and nasty to me. I just completely wiped that day out.

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

---

Posted by AllJoy

---

Posted by shoegal68

i highly doubt it. basically 2 more weekends left until my wedding. i haven't picked up any hints at all.. all i get is 'there isn't enough time in the day' or 'wait until you have kids'

thanks anyway...

---

I'm soo sorry. I was basically in the same boat. My MOH is married w/kids and was in the process of moving 800 miles away so a BP was the last thing she had time for. We (6 of us) just went to a diner and then a comedy club and she was so rude and nasty to me. I just completely wiped that day out.

---

awe but that sounds nice

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

aw. you girls are great. its just so weird how this all hit me yesterday. the eye opener was how our best man has gone out of his way for us. He lives upstate, is the father of 2 year twins AND is the chair of the physics dept at Oneota. He has come down so many times already to help out with the wedding. they just left for the bachelor party & asked me if besides getting FH to the church on time if I needed anything else. he is such a sweetheart ..a perfect example of a great friend.

i even tried to make it easy for them and suggested something local.

don't worry i am not bummed anymore. just really disappointed in 'my friends'.

who knows i may say something sooner. i just hope i don't say something at the wedding after a few drinks

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

Did you ever get one?

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

---

Posted by Sha51978

Did you ever get one?

---

nope, thanks for asking. u really find out who your friends are when your planning your wedding. i was over it awhile ago. i've learned u just have to accept people for who they are....

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

I hope they are planning a surprise for you. I agree that this process is an eye opener but sometimes it opens your eyes to good things.

Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me

I am not sure if you are one of those 'misery loves company' believers, lol... but if it will make you feel better, I had a very small bachelorette party with my SIL and 3 friends.
As a background, I tend to come off pretty conservative (don't go to bars, clubs, etc) but I told my friend that I wanted to do something out of character that night. I wanted to just do something completely out of my normal lifestyle and do something wild, crazy, and memorable.

Well, what I thought was going to be this crazy cool night ended up being an off broadway show, dinner, and dessert. I called DH to pick me up at 11 from my SIL's apartment. I never told them how disappointed I was in the lame evening, but I really was hoping for the whole 'bride to be' sash and at least a few cocktails to top off the night.

So think about it this way... maybe you were better off not doing anything in the end anyway.