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so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

bluegrl24ny Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:43 AM+

bluegrl24ny MEMBER SINCE: 4/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1863 WEDDING DATE: Mar 28, 2004

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:43 AM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

Posted by don424

ok, my advice is that you should out and live your life -- no sitting at home being upset, especially since your ex is not.

One word of caution and I may be wrong, so this could be considered a question. If your ex were to find out that you had a new 'boyfriend', even though it may not be serious, his lawyer may try to spin so that it looks like the divorce is your fault, that you gave up on the marriage (the proof would be the new boyfriend) and that may effect the negotiation of assets. Since you know he is seeing others, you can make the same argument.

I'm not sure how much you both have together jointly, so this may not apply, but just wanted to throw it out there

right - but if she already found a message from the ex about meeting another girl..... It seems like he made that first move, so I don't think it would hold up as a valid argument?

don424 Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:44 AM+

don424 MEMBER SINCE: 3/04 TOTAL POSTS : 6463 WEDDING DATE: Oct 12, 2002

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:44 AM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

like i said, since she found the cell phone message, her lawyer could use the same argument

just food for thought -- lawyers will always seek to protect the best interest of their client

wc0143 Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:45 AM+

wc0143 MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 14841 WEDDING DATE: May 01, 2004

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:45 AM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

Posted by bluegrl24ny

Posted by don424

ok, my advice is that you should out and live your life -- no sitting at home being upset, especially since your ex is not.

One word of caution and I may be wrong, so this could be considered a question. If your ex were to find out that you had a new 'boyfriend', even though it may not be serious, his lawyer may try to spin so that it looks like the divorce is your fault, that you gave up on the marriage (the proof would be the new boyfriend) and that may effect the negotiation of assets. Since you know he is seeing others, you can make the same argument.

I'm not sure how much you both have together jointly, so this may not apply, but just wanted to throw it out there

right - but if she already found a message from the ex about meeting another girl..... It seems like he made that first move, so I don't think it would hold up as a valid argument?

And all this kind of stuff is why I said *I* would wait to avoid any added complications.

jj04 Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:46 AM+

jj04 MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1033 WEDDING DATE: Oct 14, 2008

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:46 AM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

GO GO GO and while you are going..have a GREAT TIME!

nov04LIbride Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:48 AM+

nov04LIbride MEMBER SINCE: 3/04 TOTAL POSTS : 8140 WEDDING DATE: Nov 06, 2004

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:48 AM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

It didn't sound like there were many assets to divide, and with a mediator it is pretty much jointly coming to an agreement over assets like the computer, etc., not lawyers fighting... I don't know. My FH and I broke up for a couple months and I went out with a guy and it just made me so sad--I almost started crying over my chicken parm! I just remembered eating with my now FH and how comfortable it was, and there I was trying to make small talk with a surgeon who was as interesting as a piece of cardboard...But, I digress--only you know when you are ready!

kdelace Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:50 AM+

kdelace MEMBER SINCE: 7/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3089 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 2011

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:50 AM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

don
as far as my situation goes, there arent any lawyers. we met with a divorce mediator... were going to file for an annullment since we were only married 7 months. the paperwork is being drawn up and well be meeting with him to sign it when its ready. As far as joint issues, weve handled it i.e. split money, cc... and its all being written legally. the only thing he has to do is pick up the rest of his stuff...

I am still hurting and slowly healing but I have to slowly start going back out an dlivingmy life... Someone said above that I already have made my decision to go if he calls and you are right. I think I will. I guess I was asking for support on this. It was so funny, my i was with my sister whos is married, my cousin who is engaged, and my friend who has a boyfriend last night. I was the only 'single' one.. But I didn't care. I am at a point in my life whereI have to live for me for awhile...

DjPiLL Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:51 AM+

DjPiLL MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4198 WEDDING DATE: May 28, 2005

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:51 AM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

I personally don't see whats wrong with dinner. Hey its a free meal!

kdelace Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:54 AM+

kdelace MEMBER SINCE: 7/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3089 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 2011

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:54 AM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

the thing is, I miss him but not the way I used to... He has become this person that I dont even like which makes this a little easier for me., And he's the one who made this final decision, not me. I gave him every opportunity to try and work things out- counseling, coming home for a few days etc... He didnt want to... He has worn me down mentally and physicall. there wasnt any passion or fun anymore. I know we were only married 7 months but were together 21/2 years and there was a great deal of pain and hurt inthose 2 years. I just thought, naively, things would get better .....
I don't know how women in my situation put up with it for so long....the drinking, the drugs...I couldnt do it after 7 months....

bluegrl24ny Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:58 AM+

bluegrl24ny MEMBER SINCE: 4/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1863 WEDDING DATE: Mar 28, 2004

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 11:58 AM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

Kristi -
You've been through hell and back, but you still have the strength to move forward with your life - and that is so admirable!! Like you said, it's time to start living for YOU now - so do just that, and have a great time! You deserve to have some fun in your life right now, and there is not a damn thing wrong with that

franksbride Posted: Oct 20, 2004 12:27 PM+

franksbride MEMBER SINCE: 5/03 TOTAL POSTS : 5488 WEDDING DATE: Dec 07, 2003

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 12:27 PM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

Definitely go for it...enjoy yourself...you deserve a night out with a nice guy. There's no harm in dinner!

2003fallwedding Posted: Oct 20, 2004 12:40 PM+

2003fallwedding MEMBER SINCE: 6/03 TOTAL POSTS : 2831 WEDDING DATE: Nov 01, 2003

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 12:40 PM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

I say go out to dinner...not that your looking for an instant love connection but it might just turn into a good friendship...Go and HAVE FUN!!!

IrishTracy Posted: Oct 20, 2004 12:56 PM+

IrishTracy MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 9477 WEDDING DATE: May 23, 2003

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 12:56 PM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

I say if he calls go out. It doesn't mean you have to think long term relationship. It would be dinner. No biggie. And if nothing else you might get a great friendship out of it.

don424 Posted: Oct 20, 2004 04:48 PM+

don424 MEMBER SINCE: 3/04 TOTAL POSTS : 6463 WEDDING DATE: Oct 12, 2002

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 04:48 PM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

Posted by kdelace

don
as far as my situation goes, there arent any lawyers. we met with a divorce mediator... were going to file for an annullment since we were only married 7 months. the paperwork is being drawn up and well be meeting with him to sign it when its ready. As far as joint issues, weve handled it i.e. split money, cc... and its all being written legally. the only thing he has to do is pick up the rest of his stuff...

I am still hurting and slowly healing but I have to slowly start going back out an dlivingmy life... Someone said above that I already have made my decision to go if he calls and you are right. I think I will. I guess I was asking for support on this. It was so funny, my i was with my sister whos is married, my cousin who is engaged, and my friend who has a boyfriend last night. I was the only 'single' one.. But I didn't care. I am at a point in my life whereI have to live for me for awhile...

well then, i say go and have a good time

beachgirl13 Posted: Oct 20, 2004 04:59 PM+

beachgirl13 MEMBER SINCE: 7/03 TOTAL POSTS : 472 WEDDING DATE: Sep 07, 2003

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 04:59 PM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

You should go for it!

AprBride Posted: Oct 20, 2004 05:01 PM+

AprBride MEMBER SINCE: 2/03 TOTAL POSTS : 141 WEDDING DATE: Apr 01, 2003 WEDDING LOCATION: Fox Hollow

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 05:01 PM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

Hi Kristi,

I say go for it! If you remember my situation, it was very similar to yours. I also started dating someone, on a 'why not?' whim, a month after my separation, and still together 8 months later, it is wonderful...could not ask for better. Even just starting to get out there and see other people helped tremendously. Not as a way to mask feelings, but as a pleasant distraction.

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted: Oct 20, 2004 05:04 PM+

The Original 2nd-time-around MEMBER SINCE: 12/02 TOTAL POSTS : 5658 WEDDING DATE: May 04, 2004

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 05:04 PM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

Go, and have a GREAT time. You deserve it!!

(Make sure you keep us posted

)

eogara Posted: Oct 20, 2004 05:23 PM+

eogara MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 6591 WEDDING DATE: Apr 03, 2005

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 05:23 PM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

Posted by kdelace
I am at a point in my life whereI have to live for me for awhile...

This is the key statement. I'm so happy you feel this way and, on those days when it's a little more difficult than others to deal with, come back and read that you yourself wrote this. You need to live your life for YOU.

Let us know what happens!!

suven Posted: Oct 20, 2004 05:44 PM+

suven MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 5958 WEDDING DATE: May 30, 2004

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 05:44 PM

Re: so I met someone at the yankee game last night- interested in opinions..

Go out with the new guy! My only advice is to keep it quiet from your soon to be ex. I know that it seems like he won't care anyway, but believe me, he will...and then your separation could become MUCH more difficult...

And, have a great dinner!

soon2bmrs2004 Posted: Oct 20, 2004 05:49 PM+

soon2bmrs2004 MEMBER SINCE: 4/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3388 WEDDING DATE: Nov 05, 2004

Posted: Oct 20, 2004 05:49 PM