Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

I was going to but I decided against it. No thank you to those who stiffed us.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

I am not sending TY to those who couldn't even be bothered to give us a card. A gift would have been nice but a card says 'hey, I was thinking about you'. I also refuse to send a TY to those who did give us a gift but decided on the way out of the reception to 'take' items that did not belong to them!!!! One woman decided to take my mothers vase of roses that was on my families Memorial table....

I used them at church and then at the reception.. with the plan that my mom would bring them to my grandparents cemetary the next day. My mom saw her as she walked out the front door but had no voice by the end of the night to get her attention but she could pick out of a photo!!!!!

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

I guess I am ignoarant because what do you say if you give them a card? 'Thanks for coming?'
We had a couple of stiffers, which was a little insulting- mostly on my hubbies side- I guess since his groomsmen were traveling from out of state, two of them felt that their presance there was gift enough. I would consider this if we were getting married somewhere in hickeyville with nothing to do, but since we were getting married in NY, they were basically using our wedding as a vacation, and both still spent well over 2k in the city seeing 5+ broadway shows. But, I guess a card was a little much for them to splruge for. HA!

I also had a cousin who does pretty well for herself just give me a homemade card and tell me 'Your gift is in the mail'. Well, I think it got 'lost'. ha.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

yes, i will thank them for coming-that itself can be a lot of trouble.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

Heck no...i didn't give a gift to those people who could not even pick up a 99 cent card to wish us luck. My favor, free food, drink and music were my thanks for coming to the wedding......

I was amazed at how many stiffers we had...and even more amazed at who they turned out to be.....

Maybe i am stooping to their level, but if you can't have the etiquette to bring a card to a wedding then you don't deserve to have my etiquette to you.

AND I personally believe a thank you for a wedding is not to thank a person for coming to the wedding, but for a gift. I never send out thank yous to people who come to a party or bbq (where no gifts are involved). Only if they give me a gift like at a bday party.

JMO of course!

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

Hi everyone.. im new but i came across this topic.. and well.. my wedding is coming up and we are giving favors and thank you cards with no pics to everyone at the reception once they give their names for seating.. and then.. thats it!!

Our closer family .. like siblings or close aunts plus parents will get a picture .. noone else.. cause why should they have our pic in their house..

its not like they have one there now... !!

We will thank everyone for being there .. and whether you give us a gift or not.. you getting the same card.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

My answer is absolutely yes, you DO give them a thank you. There is no law that someone HAS to give you a gift. You can simply thank them for sharing in your day and supporting your commitment to each other.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by prncssrachel

My answer is absolutely yes, you DO give them a thank you. There is no law that someone HAS to give you a gift. You can simply thank them for sharing in your day and supporting your commitment to each other.

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Exactly. You should thank them for sharing in your special day. If they did send a gift, and it got lost, this should imply to them that you didnt get it.
If they were cheapo's, then you are the bigger person. I know its tempting to have the 'last word' by not thanking them, but its better to know you are bigger than that.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

I am always the dissenter on this topic.

Hell no they don't get an extra card/photo. I worked HARD for my wedding. REALLY HARD. We made a LOT of sacrifices for that shindig. Sorry, but my dinner, drinks, and $12 favor was plenty 'thank you' enough!

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

Hi everyone.. im new but i came across this topic.. and well.. my wedding is coming up and we are giving favors and thank you cards with no pics to everyone at the reception once they give their names for seating.. and then.. thats it!!

Our closer family .. like siblings or close aunts plus parents will get a picture .. noone else.. cause why should they have our pic in their house..

its not like they have one there now... !!

We will thank everyone for being there .. and whether you give us a gift or not.. you getting the same card.

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I just feel that thank you's should be mailed out not handed out at the begining of the reception

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

we sent a thank you card to everyone regardless.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

I sent notes saying 'thank you for being a part of our day' and that's it. I thought it may just be a reminder to them that we knew they didn't bring a gift.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

Well I just spoke to my fiance and yes .. we will be handing them out after the reception but at the reception. There will be no picture in the thank you cards. We are reserving that for immediate family i.e siblings and parents or maybe a fav aunt uncle or so on... otherwise it will be a personalized thank you card to all our guests. And it will be given AFTER the reception by us personally.

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JMO, but I would be kind of offended to receive a thank you card at the reception. Many people tend to give the wedding gift at the reception. To receive an immediate thank you note shows no genuine acknowledgement of the gift IMO. I didn't include pictures in my thank you card, but I at least opened the gift before writing a thank you note and attempted to write a personal note to each guest.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by BHW

JMO, but I would be kind of offended to receive a thank you card at the reception. Many people tend to give the wedding gift at the reception. To receive an immediate thank you note shows no genuine acknowledgement of the gift IMO. I didn't include pictures in my thank you card, but I at least opened the gift before writing a thank you note and attempted to write a personal note to each guest.

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I have to agree. I would be very offended. We received checks from $25 to a $1000 and a lot of very special gifts. I can't imagine one generic thank you that would express our gratitude for all of them.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

MY WEDDING IS MONETARY... NOT GIFTS...
IT IS A MONETARY THING... THE THANK YOU NOTE WILL THANK THEM FOR EVEN BEING THERE AND THANK THEM FOR THE GIFT.. CAUSE I KNOW THEY WILL BE GIVING SOMETHING.. ...
I am registered for my bridal showers and also dont expect to receive any gifts at the wedding.. if i do that is fine.. however.. they are getting the thank you cards at the end of the reception.

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If I went to a wedding where they handed out the TY that night I would think it was odd....JMHO

Is this an out of state thing because I have never heard of people doing that?

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

MY WEDDING IS MONETARY... NOT GIFTS...
IT IS A MONETARY THING... THE THANK YOU NOTE WILL THANK THEM FOR EVEN BEING THERE AND THANK THEM FOR THE GIFT.. CAUSE I KNOW THEY WILL BE GIVING SOMETHING.. ...
I am registered for my bridal showers and also dont expect to receive any gifts at the wedding.. if i do that is fine.. however.. they are getting the thank you cards at the end of the reception.

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IMHO you will not know what people gave you until after the wedding and to just say thanks for the cash at the wedding, seems somehow wrong to me. Like you cannot say on your invite cash gifts only - so you may get actual presents and they might even be things you did not register for.

I would say that if you plan on having a preprinted thank you at every place setting, while lovely, that is not the same as a handwritten thank you note sent after the wedding.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

It is Hand written. And the reception is a monetary reception.

All thank you cards will be personal and handed to each person by myself and the groom on that day near the end of the evening. Most of my gifts I will receive in Canada. Because that is where I am from and where I am having my bridal shower. The bridal shower I have in the usa will be small, with my american family. The registry info will not be sent out with the wedding invitation and the invitation says monetary gifts preferred.

If someone brings a gift to the wedding I will know who brought it according to how we will receive everything and they will be thanked personally to their face.

My wedding is in Md not in ny and my fiance is american while I am born in canada my background is very mixed.

I have family flying in from different parts of Europe and from Canada and from the caribbean and from the usa.

My bridal party is made up of those from china, caribbean, canada and the usa.

I dont know what americans do, but i can say that the thank you card isnt all that. And if the food is great the gifts that we give are great and the thank you is personal, which they are.. i dont think anyone will have a problem. My guests are already spoiled as is.. for what i have planed for that day.. for them.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

And most people will have bought me a gift at my shower anyways.. and they will get thank you cards for that..

The thank you card at the wedding will thank them for their gift and presence. People are so caught up with etiquetee that they read in books and online.. they dont see the true meaning of the day.

Its not about what you get or give. Its about the joy of love and sharing.

Im confident to know that those that are flying in from all over are fine with just being there and will be happy to see me happy.

And they are getting soo much besides the food, besides the gifts, besides the free giveaways.. besides the live entertainment, besides the accomodations... there is so much that went into this.. and still i didnt over spend...

Yet the fact that they are getting a thank you .. is thanks enough for them..

We were okay with having a small event just him myself our parents and the minister.

However friends and people we have come in cotact with over the years wanted to share in this day.. so we changed the date and all sorts fo things.. i dont think that giving them the thank you card at the reception will hurt their feelings.

Thank God the people around me are not selfish and just have their hands out on the day that God and His angels rejoice in another union of love. SMH