Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

It is Hand written. And the reception is a monetary reception.

All thank you cards will be personal and handed to each person by myself and the groom on that day near the end of the evening. Most of my gifts I will receive in Canada. Because that is where I am from and where I am having my bridal shower. The bridal shower I have in the usa will be small, with my american family. The registry info will not be sent out with the wedding invitation and the invitation says monetary gifts preferred.

If someone brings a gift to the wedding I will know who brought it according to how we will receive everything and they will be thanked personally to their face.

My wedding is in Md not in ny and my fiance is american while I am born in canada my background is very mixed.

I have family flying in from different parts of Europe and from Canada and from the caribbean and from the usa.

My bridal party is made up of those from china, caribbean, canada and the usa.

I dont know what americans do, but i can say that the thank you card isnt all that. And if the food is great the gifts that we give are great and the thank you is personal, which they are.. i dont think anyone will have a problem. My guests are already spoiled as is.. for what i have planed for that day.. for them.

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JMO, but how can a thank you card for a gift be really personal when you write it before you even open the gift? I don't know how things are done in Canada, but in the U.S., putting monetary gifts preferred on the invitation IMO is inappropriate.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by BHW

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JMO, but how can a thank you card for a gift be really personal when you write it before you even open the gift? I don't know how things are done in Canada, but in the U.S., putting monetary gifts preferred on the invitation IMO is inappropriate.

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IMO...

and why would a bride to be post on the newlywed board?

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

Well... its normal to do so.. it is european.. and americans do it also.. its nto a big deal.

Also.. I will open the gift at the bridal shower. There are no gifts at the wedding. Everyone knows that. No gifts at the wedding. Everyone at this wedding will be coming from out of town. SO why would they bring a gift oveseas? Noone will do that. I will get the gift and then send thank you cards for the gifts.

Then at the wedding I am dgiving thank you cards for attending.. the wedding day. ANd they will be hand written and persnal.. each thank you being different. not the ususal same verse in all thank you cards. No.

Also the cards will be handed personally to the guests.. each card is addressed to each individual or family.

I think that is more personal than sending it off later on.

And as to why I am here.. well .. i felt like posting . making a comment and i did and from there people have been responding..so.. i have commented out of curtesy. I wasnt planning to stay in here and invade the newlyweds Only Forum. Sorry.. to invade your space

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by dleeny

and why would a bride to be post on the newlywed board?

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AND why would she dig up a post from 2003?

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

yah know what.. whatever to the newlyweds.. i hope God is in your lifes and I hope that you took your vows seriously.. And plan to stay together forever.. take care and God bless..

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

yah know what.. whatever to the newlyweds.. i hope God is in your lifes and I hope that you took your vows seriously.. And plan to stay together forever.. take care and God bless..

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well, I read all these posts to my husband and he made a good point, the day of our wedding gifts were handed to not only us, but my parents, his parents and our siblings. Additionally, some people even had to leave early for an emergency and did not say goodbye to us, but they saw my parents and extended their thanks to them and wishes for us. So I hope with all that you have planned that you are even able to hand out your notes. I know for us, it would have been impossible.

As for your belief that people from Europe will not bring presents, we actually got both checks and an actual present from a few of our foreign guests, so they will and do bring things over seas.

As for requesting money gifts on the invite, that is up to you, but on Long Island, at least, I am pretty confident when I say that is not done here.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

My thought is: if you already have the audacity to write 'cash gifts preferred' you should have the decency to mail an appropriate thank you card...

and post on BHB until the blessed event occurs.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

whats the difference if i give it ibn person or mail it? I wanted to give it in person rather than mail it.. what is so wrong with that? Its personal and i thank them.. whats not personal friendly and nice about that????

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

whats the difference if i give it ibn person or mail it? I wanted to give it in person rather than mail it.. what is so wrong with that? Its personal and i thank them.. whats not personal friendly and nice about that????

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I guess what seems not personal about it is that you have already written them a thank you for a gift you haven't received yet - unless as people walk in, you are taking their gift (money or elsewise), opening it right then and then writing a thank you during the reception, which I doubt. I guess, to me anyway, it seems somewhat presumptious. JMHO.

And, just as a side question because I'm wondering, do you and FH live in NY? I'm only asking b/c you say you're from Canada, most of your friends and family will be from other countries and you are getting married in MD, so I'm just wondering what brought you to a Long Island website? Not saying you can't be here, I'm just curious.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

whats the difference if i give it ibn person or mail it? I wanted to give it in person rather than mail it.. what is so wrong with that? Its personal and i thank them.. whats not personal friendly and nice about that????

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because it shows that you can write generic thank you notes rather than personalize each one and put some real thought into it.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

What is wrong with you people?????? I am personally writing a thank you for flying in, for giving gifts. Each persons thank you card will be different .. they are all custom and hand written. My guests will not be bringing gifts.. it is UNDERSTOOD. You people are
sooooo...... hard of hearing.. or blind. So quick to attack.. and then tell me im giving generic cards.

WHERE IS THAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND
CUSTOM
HAND WRITTEN
PERSONALIZED
TO EVERY GUEST
THANK YOU CARDS FOR ATTENDING THE WEDDING AND FOR THE GIFTS.

IM DONT WITH THIS TOPIC.. SO YOU CAN ALL TALK TO YOURSELF.. LOL LOL LOL



SHEESH..!!!!

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

Its not about what you get or give. Its about the joy of love and sharing.

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No, it isn't about what you get or give. However, people do deserve a personalized note thanking them for their generosity. How can you do that before you even open the gift?Furthermore, it's about taking the time after the wedding to acknowledge all your guests.

Finally, I'm going to request that you not call us blind or hard of hearing for not understanding what you're trying to get across, as your posts are rambling, incoherent, and in very poor English. I was under the impression that Canada was once part of the British Empire and still has loyalties to the Queen, and therefore should speak English properly. Unless of course you are from Quebec and mainly speak French.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by oneday

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

whats the difference if i give it ibn person or mail it? I wanted to give it in person rather than mail it.. what is so wrong with that? Its personal and i thank them.. whats not personal friendly and nice about that????

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I guess what seems not personal about it is that you have already written them a thank you for a gift you haven't received yet - unless as people walk in, you are taking their gift (money or elsewise), opening it right then and then writing a thank you during the reception, which I doubt. I guess, to me anyway, it seems somewhat presumptious. JMHO.

And, just as a side question because I'm wondering, do you and FH live in NY? I'm only asking b/c you say you're from Canada, most of your friends and family will be from other countries and you are getting married in MD, so I'm just wondering what brought you to a Long Island website? Not saying you can't be here, I'm just curious.

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Im responding to you .. the last person cause you seem to not be attacking or insulting me.

I actually thought of that.. writing the thank you cards there at the reception. But I dont think I will.

Because I am used to going to weddings and i know what my family gives monetary wise.. as well as friends and i know we always give .. then i can do the cards before hand...
I actually know what most are giving... And yes I know this for a fact.. I have been in weddings planed weddings and attended weddings since i was a lil girl.. and with us.. it never changes...

I gave out my invitations and event hough i have the respond folder .. someone has already called me to tell me that right now.. they are not sure if they can attend however a monetary gift will come regardless.. and a gift at my bridal shower.. And to me .. the real gift is just coming to the wedding case we were planning to have something small however the guests wanted to be there.. so we changed it for them.

As to why I am on the site.. I got something in an email and then i was researching the site.. came across the tools.. and to use them i had to sign up so i did. The forum... i didnt even look for it.. i dotn know who i came across it.. However
People seem to be reacting so harshly to me.. and my guests dont mine. All I did was say i am giving the thank you cards at the reception. We are giving them halfway through. It wil be a personal session with each guest .. we will thank them and give them the card. Each card is hand written and thanx them for their gift of coming and whatever else. But no 2 card will be worded the same. It wil be very personal. Because each person coming to my wedding means so much. They dont ususally fly anywhere but they are flying.. they usually just send money.. and no gift. So the gift givers wil not bring gifts to our wedding. Because we are not used to doing that. My fiances side as well. Noone wil be bringing gifts to the function.

Just because my custom is different doesnt mean its wrong. Some people dont use rings, some dont get married in churches, some dont even have dinners. My wedding is gonna be 12-13hrs long some weddings are only 4. Some of the american tradiotion is different from my culture and i dont judge it. His family understands and loves me as i love them and understand them. I would NEVER Do ANYTHING to insult them intentionally, and if HIS AMERICAN MOTHER and AUNT who ar ein the wedding business do not disapprove of my methods. I dont see why everyone here should feel so hurt.

Thank you for your post and questions. Its too bad we couldnt all just share suggestions instead of dealing with me in such a way.
SMH

Thank God Im not such a ugly person inside. I dont attack people cause they are different.

And to 'oneday' I thank you for question and you made me think about writing it there or wha i was doing without being negative or coming across that way. You disagreed in a way that wasnt rude at all.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

What is wrong with you people?????? I am persoanlly writing aq thakn you for flying in for giving gifts.. to each peson every thank you will be different .. they are all custom and hand written and my guests will not be bringing gifts.. it is UNDERSTOOD. You people are so oooo hard of hearing.. or blind. So quick to attack.. and then tell me im giving generic cards.

WHERE IS THAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND
CUSTOM
HAND WRITTEN
PERSONALIZED
TO EVERY GUEST
THANK YOU CARDS FOR ATTENDING THE WEDDING AND FOR THE GIFTS.

IM DONT WITH THIS TOPIC.. SO YOU CAN ALL TALK TO YOURSELF.. LOL LOL LOL



SHEESH..!!!!

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This post is ridiculous...Get off our Newlywed board!!!!!

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

I have to say, I've been to quite a few weddings in Canada - as quite a bit of my family live there (and I was recently at a wedding there in December). We ALWAYS got a thank you card the traditional way.... after the wedding, not while we were at the reception.

We also had people travel very far to our wedding (like from Israel!), and they did in fact bring a gift (not just a monetary gift). So to say you know for a fact that people will not bring gifts is a little premature. I was SURE we were getting all monetary gifts at our wedding since just about our entire registry had been bought prior to the wedding. But we still had many many wrapped gifts to open after the wedding. Items that were not on our registry.

In the end, it's your wedding and you should do what you want. But I know if I was a guest at your wedding and received a thank you card before I left, I would think it a little strange.

How do you expect to enjoy your reception if you are busy handing out thank you's? JMHO

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by PrincessRose

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Posted by Sensually_Taken

Its not about what you get or give. Its about the joy of love and sharing.

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No, it isn't about what you get or give. However, people do deserve a personalized note thanking them for their generosity. How can you do that before you even open the gift?Furthermore, it's about taking the time after the wedding to acknowledge all your guests.

Finally, I'm going to request that you not call us blind or hard of hearing for not understanding what you're trying to get across, as your posts are rambling, incoherent, and in very poor English. I was under the impression that Canada was once part of the British Empire and still has loyalties to the Queen, and therefore should speak English properly. Unless of course you are from Quebec and mainly speak French.

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excuse me for my errors i corrected them.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

the reception idea was for the guests. We actually dont mind. However.. this was an idea for me.. because planning my wedding is extremely hard planning it from canada being that it is in the usa.. plus we habve govt stuff to take care of.

We thought it would be nice if we gave thank you cards for their pressence. We also decided that IF we wanted to send out something later we would.

However the fact is we wanted to make it personal. Is it wrong for me to think i am being personal by giving a thank you card at the recption??? I have seen it done b4. We werent insulted. And we werent thanked fo r the gift at all. But we knew it was appreciated.

Yes it is my wedding and we can do what we want to do., Nothing is wrong with mailing out thank you cards. It takes no time to do that. I just htought it would be more personal to do it this way. And It was something new.

My cosuin got married last year. We received no thank you card. At the reception we used a picture frame with our names on it for seating and the thank you was right on that. And everyones waas the same. We knew that they really didnt have the money and that they appreciated our pressence so that was okay to us.

My who wedding wa a request by several family members and friends. We werent going to have a reception at all. We just want to be married. For this we now have to be apart we have to spend money that we didnt have.. and work extra jobs and everything.
We have gone out of our way for our guests and gave them set accomodations they really dotn have to pay for much well except the flight which is much. They dont have to even give us a gift. They all requested this. Everyone who is invited or lets see.., maybe 90% of those invited requested this when they heard i was getting married but was doing it private.

So again.. our guests at least shouldnt be insulted for a thank you at the wedding.

I went to 5 weddings last year. And come to think of it.. we havent received one thank you card. But I know my pressence was appreciated. I dotn need a card to solidify that for me.

Yes it is tradition and its a nice gesture either way. I;m not saying that what im doing is Canadian in tradition, Im just doing what I thought to be nicer and different.

I guess On here .. its not okay to be different. I have never had so much negative feedback b4 on my wedding EVER. I dont think i will stay here, chatting I mean. Because the people on here are mean. And if this is ho they are in life I feel sorry for them. Im a christian and I bellieve that you can talk to people without being rude. And Im just tired now. Im not defending myself anymore. I'll be like Jesus and turn the other cheek.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by FallBride05

I have to say, I've been to quite a few weddings in Canada - as quite a bit of my family live there (and I was recently at a wedding there in December). We ALWAYS got a thank you card the traditional way.... after the wedding, not while we were at the reception.

We also had people travel very far to our wedding (like from Israel!), and they did in fact bring a gift (not just a monetary gift). So to say you know for a fact that people will not bring gifts is a little premature. I was SURE we were getting all monetary gifts at our wedding since just about our entire registry had been bought prior to the wedding. But we still had many many wrapped gifts to open after the wedding. Items that were not on our registry.

In the end, it's your wedding and you should do what you want. But I know if I was a guest at your wedding and received a thank you card before I left, I would think it a little strange.

How do you expect to enjoy your reception if you are busy handing out thank you's? JMHO

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oh and when i shake their hand.. I can thank a guest for the gift right away... along with handing them a card.

In my family we give and we give a lot.
Like for my bros one year anniversay we were all invited to a boat cruise and had dinner there.

For our 1 year we are trying to fly to each part of the world where everyone came from and do a lil something there .. on us.

thank you for being kind though

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

I'm sorry, but you're still rambling, incoherent, and when I can understand what you're saying, you're contradicting yourself.

First you say that people are only going to give money at your wedding, and that EVERYONE knows that they should only give Money at weddings, and then you say that it's not about what you get. If you really didn't care what you got, you wouldn't be printing on your invitations 'Monetary Gifts Preferred'. That, IMO, is the thing that most of us seem to be having issues with. I find the concept of money being the only acceptable wedding gift rather appalling, personally.

My Israeli family brought gifts - beautiful gifts, I might add.

What you appear to be describing, in terms of handing out little notes to thank people for coming *at* the wedding, is handled here by giving out party favors. It's a lovely gesture to write individualized notes to each guest thanking them to come, however it does not cover the obligation of Thank You notes. I guarantee that when people start calling your FMIL and his family, wondering why they never got Thank You notes, you'll understand.

This is not about getting tied up in ettiquette, this is about simple gratitude.

Re: Thank you cards to Non-gift givers..............

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Posted by PrincessRose

I'm sorry, but you're still rambling, incoherent, and when I can understand what you're saying, you're contradicting yourself.

First you say that people are only going to give money at your wedding, and that EVERYONE knows that they should only give Money at weddings, and then you say that it's not about what you get. If you really didn't care what you got, you wouldn't be printing on your invitations 'Monetary Gifts Preferred'. That, IMO, is the thing that most of us seem to be having issues with. I find the concept of money being the only acceptable wedding gift rather appalling, personally.

My Israeli family brought gifts - beautiful gifts, I might add.

What you appear to be describing, in terms of handing out little notes to thank people for coming *at* the wedding, is handled here by giving out party favors. It's a lovely gesture to write individualized notes to each guest thanking them to come, however it does not cover the obligation of Thank You notes. I guarantee that when people start calling your FMIL and his family, wondering why they never got Thank You notes, you'll understand.

This is not about getting tied up in ettiquette, this is about simple gratitude.

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Well said. I think it's in very poor taste to put 'monetary gifts preferred' on the invitations. I also still don't understand how you think the thank you note for the gift is personal when you write it before receiving the gift. You can write a personal note thanking people for coming and sharing your special day with you. However, it is not personal (and does not seem sincere) if you thank them for their gift before you actually receive it.
I don't think it's enough to merely say 'thank you' at the reception for a wrapped wedding gift and not send a thank you note afterwards.