I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

I AM SO MAD!!!!!!
I AM IN MY COUSIN'S WEDDING ON FRIDAY AND MY FMIL WAS SURPOSE TO WATCH MY 2 YEAR OLD DAUGTHER, BUT SHE JUST FOUND OUT HER MOTHER ISN'T DOING WELL AND HAS TO LEAVE TO GO BE WITH HER. (JUST TO LET YOU KNOW MY DAUGTHER DOESN'T STAY WITH ANYONE BUT ME, MY MOM AND FMIL) WELL NOW I DON'T HAVE A BABYSITTER BECAUSE MY PARENTS WILL ALSO BE AT THE WEDDING. WELL I CALL MY COUSIN TO TELL HER MY SITUATION WITH THE HOPES THAT MAYBE SHE WOULD SAY I CAN BRING MY DAUGTHER DUE TO MY SITUATION ( ITS NOT LIKE I WILL HAVE HER IN PICS AND STUFF CAUSE SHE CAN STAY WITH MY PARENTS WHEN I HAVE TO DO ALL THAT STUFF) SO I TELL HER MY PROBLEM AND SHE TELLS ME THAT I NEED TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT BECAUSE SHE DON'T WANT ANY KIDS AT HER WEDDING.
AM I WRONG FOR BEING SOOOOOO BAD.

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

i hope your FMIL's mother is okay!

things happen, reverse the rolls - if you didn't want kids at your wedding, i don't think you would appreciate people attempting to make exceptions. yes, it puts you in a bind, but i think you should still respect your cousins wishes. if you can't arrange alternate care, then maybe you won't be able to attend...how old is the child?

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

Ack!
Im so sorry.. vent away I'd be ticked off too.

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

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Posted by september2004

i hope your FMIL's mother is okay!

things happen, reverse the rolls - if you didn't want kids at your wedding, i don't think you would appreciate people attempting to make exceptions. yes, it puts you in a bind, but i think you should still respect your cousins wishes. if you can't arrange alternate care, then maybe you won't be able to attend...how old is the child?

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Normally I'd agree if she was just going to the wedding.. but she's IN the wedding.. if the roles were reversed would you let one of your BM not come to the wedding because of a last minute family emergency which means she has to bring her kid?

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

Hmmm- since you're in the Bridal Party, I think she should make an exception. I'll do things for BP members that I wouldn't do for regular people, and it's not like

1) you didn't try

and

2) someone else can fit the dress

Is there *any* one else you trust your daughter to? If not, then I would talk to her again.

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

I hope FMIL's mom is OK.

You have every right to be pissed. There is an emergency. I can understand the bride askign you to please make other arrangements, but if you can't- bring your daughter- but it sounds like her response was very rude.
Sorry.

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

I'm sorry this is happening to you, but I also understand your cousin's position. I'm sure she took a lot of heat for not having children at the wedding. If she makes one exception there will probably be p-offed family member/friends/etc. who were told they couldn't bring there kids. Is there anyone else who can watch you little girl?

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

I'm really sorry for your situation, but I think you have to just respect the wishes of the bride & try not to take it personally. She may be in a situation were if she lets you bring your daughter, it will bring up issues w/ other guests(everyone will not be aware of your situation). And if she seemed unsympathetic, keep in mind its her wedding in 3 days & she has lots to worry about & you just added one more thing to that list. I hope everything works out for you.

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

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Posted by IreneinChicago

I'm sorry this is happening to you, but I also understand your cousin's position. I'm sure she took a lot of heat for not having children at the wedding. If she makes one exception there will probably be p-offed family member/friends/etc. who were told they couldn't bring there kids. Is there anyone else who can watch you little girl?

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I think Irene is right - if she has a rule about no kids - she has to stick to it with everyone.

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

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Posted by Xelindrya

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Posted by september2004

i hope your FMIL's mother is okay!

things happen, reverse the rolls - if you didn't want kids at your wedding, i don't think you would appreciate people attempting to make exceptions. yes, it puts you in a bind, but i think you should still respect your cousins wishes. if you can't arrange alternate care, then maybe you won't be able to attend...how old is the child?

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Normally I'd agree if she was just going to the wedding.. but she's IN the wedding.. if the roles were reversed would you let one of your BM not come to the wedding because of a last minute family emergency which means she has to bring her kid?

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i can't really relate because:

- i don't mind kids at a wedding
- i don't think a BM would do that to me, i think she would attempt to take care of it and respect my wishes
- i don't know the specifics of the situation, but having a few days to make alternate plans for child care doesn't constitute an 'emergency' in my book. the night before, the day of, well, then i could see myself annoyed...

it's a tough call, the bride would be nice to make an exception, but i can understand why she would not want to. as a bride i would say 'bring the kid', but as as a BM i would try my best to make alternate plans.

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

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Posted by Stavia

I'm really sorry for your situation, but I think you have to just respect the wishes of the bride & try not to take it personally. She may be in a situation were if she lets you bring your daughter, it will bring up issues w/ other guests(everyone will not be aware of your situation). And if she seemed unsympathetic, keep in mind its her wedding in 3 days & she has lots to worry about & you just added one more thing to that list. I hope everything works out for you.

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I have to agree. I understand you're angry at her, but if she's having an adult only reception, I'm sure many of her other guests had to make arrangements for their children. If they see a guest who brought a child, they will see it unfair, of course, not knowing your situation.

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

I UNDERSTAND IT'S HER DAY AND IT'S WHAT EVER SHE WANTS. BUT IT'S JUST THE WAY SHE SAID IT, HER SOLUTION TO MY SITUATION IS HAVE FH STAY HOME AND I GO TO THE WEDDING UNTIL ALL HER PICS ARE DONE AND THEN I CAN LEAVE. IS THAT THE WAY YOU TALK TO SOMEONE?
NOW SHE DIECIDE EVERYTHING BM'S DID'NT HAVE A SAY IN ANYTHING SHE PICKED OUT THE DRESS WERE WEARING AND THE SHOES AND NOW 400.00 IN A DRESS & SHOES I WILL NEVER WEAR AGAIN I SHOULD STAY AN HOUR AND THEN LEAVE. I DON'T KNOW MAYBE I SHOULD'NT BE MAD BUT I AM

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

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Posted by GIGIBRIDE04

I UNDERSTAND IT'S HER DAY AND IT'S WHAT EVER SHE WANTS. BUT IT'S JUST THE WAY SHE SAID IT, HER SOLUTION TO MY SITUATION IS HAVE FH STAY HOME AND I GO TO THE WEDDING UNTIL ALL HER PICS ARE DONE AND THEN I CAN LEAVE. IS THAT THE WAY YOU TALK TO SOMEONE?
NOW SHE DIECIDE EVERYTHING BM'S DID'NT HAVE A SAY IN ANYTHING SHE PICKED OUT THE DRESS WERE WEARING AND THE SHOES AND NOW 400.00 IN A DRESS & SHOES I WILL NEVER WEAR AGAIN I SHOULD STAY AN HOUR AND THEN LEAVE. I DON'T KNOW MAYBE I SHOULD'NT BE MAD BUT I AM

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i would chalk it up to 'bride brain' and her not thinking clearly...

if this is a pattern of behavior, then i think you have another problem on your hands, not wedding related. i understand your frustration, but would try to make alternate arrangements if possible.

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

we originally didn't want kids at the wedding, but one of our groomsmen had no where else to bring his daughter (live out of town). So we said OF COURSE she could come!! Especially since its someone in the BP!!!

we ended up inviting kids anyway... but thats very selfish of her to say that!! Id screw her and back out of the wedding!!!

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

what a selfish biotch!!! I would tell her F you and your ugly dress and not even go!!
Sorry family comes first... who cares if she has brides brain - she needs to snap out of it and look at the big picture - Your wedding day is just that A DAY. Friendships and family relationships are for a lifetime.
People like that make me sick!

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

THANKS LADIES I THOUGHT MAYBE I WAS OVER REACTING

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

I wouldn't back out of the wedding. Think about how nervous we all get about our weddings, and then imagine your wedding in 3 days. She's probably got a lot going on and a lot of different things/nerves running through her mind right now. I'm not making excuses for her, because it sounds like she was very rude about the way she handled it, but don't be too upset. I don't think your FH should have to stay at home with your child. Why can't you all go to the ceremony, you'll be in your pictures, and then you can all leave. I wish I could think of something better, but that's the best I can do at the moment.

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

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Posted by Xelindrya

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Posted by september2004

i hope your FMIL's mother is okay!

things happen, reverse the rolls - if you didn't want kids at your wedding, i don't think you would appreciate people attempting to make exceptions. yes, it puts you in a bind, but i think you should still respect your cousins wishes. if you can't arrange alternate care, then maybe you won't be able to attend...how old is the child?

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Normally I'd agree if she was just going to the wedding.. but she's IN the wedding.. if the roles were reversed would you let one of your BM not come to the wedding because of a last minute family emergency which means she has to bring her kid?

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I agree TOTALLY!!!!

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

ok this is crazy its not liek you are just bringing her b/c you want to you have no choice and you are in the BP. I hate when brides get like this all selfish and BRIDEZILLA like .
I hope you mil mom is ok and that thigs work out for you!!!

Re: I am soooooo MAD!!!!!!! SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT

Why can't you leave your daughter w/ a friend ? or a trusted member of you FH's family ? There has to be someone else who can babysit - She's 2 ........I could understand if she were 2 weeks or 2 months. -
Try to understand your friend's situation as well - I know you're in a bad spot- and I don't know her situation, but personally, i'd have to be explaining myself all night if ONE child was @ the wedding b/c there are about 25 in my family !