DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

I really want to have an elegant formal affair, it's a saturday night in winter, so it'll be nice and dark and I just wan everything to be elegant and beautiful. Like throwing a ball. i want to have it Black Tie or Black Tie Optional, but I just can't afford a band, and I have other concerns about bands. Do you hink you can have a DJ at black tie afair, or does having the DJ automatically make it less formal?

I don't want it to seem like a big faux pas, like I want everyont to dress in black tie and i couldn't spring for a band, or whatever. I had to choose going to the hall I loved over having a band, soo...

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

I think it can be done. As long as you don't have an over the top mc and do the give aways I think you can have a classy event.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

IMO if you are going to put Black Tie on your invites you should probably have a band or an orchrestra. You could still pass the word around the fam that black tie would be appreciated. I still had most of my male guests show up in tuxes.
I understand how you feel - I really wanted a band too. It wasnt really a $ thing w/ us but we live out of state and couldnt see a lot of bands. We got some DVDs and my mom went to see some but nothing was jumping out at us. Then my mom and MOH saw Music By Michael at a expo and we went w/ him.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

This is JMO - But I think unless you and your family/friends are used to attending Black Tie events it is rude to suddenly spring a Wedding on them as 'Black Tie' my cousin did this and had a DJ - We all had a great time @ her wedding b/c the DJ was amazing. But a lot of people were upset that she made us all get done up BLACK TIE while there was nothing about the event that called for that type of formality.
For a Saturday night affair, people usually know it is a formal event - Dark SUITS for the men and gowns are formal cocktail dresses for the women is usually the attire - At least in my family.
If you're worried people will not dress appropriately, you can always have your mom, BMs Aunts etc spread the word !!

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

i'm having a black tie optional with a DJ. it doesn't matter, it's what you want. a DJ makes the party. make sure you have a great MC that's the most important part of the wedding.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

People in my fmily are used to black tie affairs, just abut every other affair is black tie or black tie optional, so I won't be springing anything. I really want the evening to be elegant, I know when I go to a black tie affair I don't wear a cocktail dress, I wear a ballgown. i really want it to be formal. I just don't know if I NEED a band.

I know once I went to a black tie wedding and they had a band, but they really skimped on everything else, and een the immediate family wasn't in black tie and THEN I was pissed, but I didn't even think of band vs. Dj. Instead of a band, we're having unlimited fresh seafood, a pasta course, a viennese hour, etc etc...so that may be good, but I don't know if band vs DJ makes or breaks a black tie affair

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

Personally I dont think you NEED a band in order to have an elegant affair. Just communicate to the MC that you are looking for an elegant atmosphere and you dont want props or a club like atmosphere (so maybe no light show!?) also you could even do without the MC and just get a DJ.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

Hmmm... IMHO - no way. Sorry!

It's a imposition to request 'Black Tie' of your guests to begin with, and I do think that many would be unhappy about being told to dress extra formally for an event with a DJ for entertainment (even if they didn't say so directly to you or your family). Perhaps if you just spread the word (through word of mouth) that you were hoping for guests to dress formally, the DJ would seem more reasonable.

Does it really need to be black tie? In my experience, such a dress code is reserved for the swankiest of affairs, and as a guest, I would definitely expect a quality band and/or orchestra at such an event.

Just contributing one person's opinion.... Ultimately, you need to do what you feel comfortable with. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

Dj and black tie do not go hand in hand

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by babslovesjoey

Since when does black tie = having a band ??? A black tie is just a formal event, usually standard with Saturday evening affairs, men wear dark suits and tie, and women wear gowns or cocktail dresses. I went to a wedding at Oheka Castle September 2004, Vanderbilt mansion a few years ago and my sister went to a wedding 2 years ago at the Waldorf Astoria, all on Saturday evenings who all had DJ's and black tie, even Jamie Lynn Discala (Meadow Soprano) just had her wedding black tie w/ Tommy Tunes DJ, a DJ is just entertainment.

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Ditto! Do what you want Marymoon, the ELEGANCE of your wedding in NOT determined by whether or not you have a BAND. Music is music regardless of who writes some rule in a book. I think people showing up in shorts vs. black tie might influence the tone of your event more than whether or not your music is live or pre-recorded. However, if you want to give your guests some latitude perhaps giving them a 'formal attire required' might work better.

ETA: don't spend your money trying to follow someone else's rules if doesn't work for you. With the right DJ and order of events and elegantly dressed guests your event will quite lovely I have no doubt. DO what you want-it's your day.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by lanikai

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Posted by babslovesjoey

Since when does black tie = having a band ??? A black tie is just a formal event, usually standard with Saturday evening affairs, men wear dark suits and tie, and women wear gowns or cocktail dresses. I went to a wedding at Oheka Castle September 2004, Vanderbilt mansion a few years ago and my sister went to a wedding 2 years ago at the Waldorf Astoria, all on Saturday evenings who all had DJ's and black tie, even Jamie Lynn Discala (Meadow Soprano) just had her wedding black tie w/ Tommy Tunes DJ, a DJ is just entertainment.

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Ditto! Do what you want Marymoon, the ELEGANCE of your wedding in NOT determined by whether or not you have a BAND. Music is music regardless who writes some rule in a book. I think people showing up shorts vs. black tie might influence the tone of your event more than whether or not your music is live or pre-recorded.

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Right on. I agree.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

I think that you should look at it from your guests point of view. At least with people I know, all the guys to attend the event will have to rent a tuxedo which is easily $100. All the add ons that you have will make the event really nice but that won't be what people will see, or remember. They will remmeber the band or DJ, and the people that had to spend the extra money to attend might be a little upset. In my opinion I would try and find a band, or not have a black tie event.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

I disagree. Any wedding I have been to I did not evaluate if it was worth getting dressed up because there was a band or DJ there. And I would dare say that women worry about the expense of formality more than men do at times. I don't see a guy getting ticked off because he wore a tuxedo to a friends wedding and found out there was no band. I really think this is a mere technicality. But if you think your guests will think that way then perhaps you should give them some latitude.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

To address a few things...Traditionally black tie affairs have a band. I definitely don't want people showing up in non formal attire. Fh's family might, and I want to let people know that if they have a tux (MUCH of my family owns tuxedos...if you're in the business world and/or you go to a lot of affairs/weddings, sooner or alterit becomes worthwhile to have one), they can break it out. To me, when a wedding is black tie that's so much more fun because I get to wear a beautiful ballgown, and I just think it makes everything one notch nicer. So I was thinking 'Black tie Optional'. Do you think that 'Formal recption to follow' will convey the same thing (ok/preferred to wear black tie?)... I don't know if the band /DJ is the make or break factor here. I mean I'm really not sure. it just sort of hit me that it might be a problem. I personally don't pay that much attention to whether they had a band or a DJ as long as it was good. The ONLY time I resented wearing black tie was when the food/place/etc wasn't so good...and they HAD a band. Keep the opinions coming. I'm really not sure yet!

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

For me personally if I was wearing a ball gown and my husband was renting a tux (as he doesn't own one) i'd rather have a band and the type of elegance and formality it brings then a pasta course and a viennesse. To me, there is formality and elegance that live music brings that cannot be recreated by a DJ.

By the way- While Jamie Lynn DiScala did have a DJ she also had a band - NYC Swing.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

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Posted by babslovesjoey

Since when does black tie = having a band ??? A black tie is just a formal event, usually standard with Saturday evening affairs, men wear dark suits and tie, and women wear gowns or cocktail dresses. I went to a wedding at Oheka Castle September 2004, Vanderbilt mansion a few years ago and my sister went to a wedding 2 years ago at the Waldorf Astoria, all on Saturday evenings who all had DJ's and black tie, even Jamie Lynn Discala (Meadow Soprano) just had her wedding black tie w/ Tommy Tunes DJ, a DJ is just entertainment.

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Jamie Lynn Discala also had a band, NYC Swing, I know this because I used them too.

Personally I do not like the whole requesting 'black tie'. I think it imposes additional pressure on your guests to spend money on renting tuxes and buying gowns. If you think your quest won't mind then go for it.

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

Hmm..I don't know. I know they SAY a band adds elegance, but I've never seen a band that I didn't think was cheesy... I'm going to ask around some more.

Has anyone ever been to a 'black tie optional' affair? What did you think of that request? Was there a badn every time? If not, what did you think?

What do you expect when the invite says black tie?

oooh I think that's a good question for another thread

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

if anything i would do black tie optional... but i would think a band would be more appropriate


if you expect people to go out and spend more money to rent a tux for a formal affair then why whould you not spend more money on entertaining them??? JMHO

Re: DJ for a Black Tie Wedding?

There are lots of great bands out there that are not 'cheesy'. They are not cheap, so if you are on a budget then your best bet would be to probably go with a DJ. I feel that ultimately it is your wedding so you should do what makes you happy.

We have been to weddings were black tie was optional and my DH still wore a dark suit. He doesn't own a tux.