Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I waited forever for my parents to tkae me to disney. My Fh took me when I was 20. It was way different as an adult. I want my kids to be able to experience it as children but not at the expense of having their mommy around.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

You know I would never disrespect someone's decision to be a SAHM, so I am a little bewildered as to why some people here are hell bent on making those of us who want to have a career and a family feel like we are depriving our children of 'having mommy around' to have material things, like we should feel quilty. Especially since a lot of us have said that we have a desire to work - which is not the same as saying 'I want nice vacations.' Its not like we will be in Africa

I am not going to judge anyone and I am not going to let anyone judge me. I said that being a working mom is the best thing for ME and MY FAMILY. What gives anyone who wants to be a SAHM the right to say that working moms are depriving their children of something? I hope you all don't stay at home and teach your children to be so self-righteous. There are many ways to raise a happy family. No one's way is necessarily RIGHT.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

Honestly there is never going to be a set answer for each family. We all have different factors to consider, different priorities.

The bottom line is this..if our kids are lucky enough to make it to adulthood..they will tell us themselves if our choice was the right choice or not and how it affected them. I only hope that I made the best decision for my child(ren).

P.s Becky..I still dont understand the Africa comment?
Please clarify..I didnt get the analogy.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by myasmom

Honestly there is never going to be a set answer for each family. We all have different factors to consider, different priorities.

The bottom line is this..if our kids are lucky enough to make it to adulthood..they will tell us themselves if our choice was the right choice or not and how it affected them. I only hope that I made the best decision for my child(ren).

P.s Becky..I still dont understand the Africa comment?
Please clarify..I didnt get the analogy.

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I think she meant is as 'we're not going to be really far away'

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

ok..I thought it was related to the upbringing..I just saw a documentary where families went to third world countries to live for a few weeks and were surprised at how children were raised. They left with respect. It totally touched me becasue I always thought it would be so difficult looking into your kids eyes and not able to give them toys and clothes etc..but the kids were so happy..they had the most important thing..love (off topic but it was an awakening for me

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I agree with Kris that sometimes I think people confuse wants with needs. However, Long Island is just so expensive. I can't say for sure until I am in the position, but I plan on staying at home when I have kids. I plan on being married for a few years first. If things don't start looking up financially, I would rather move out of state and live someplace cheaper. I also agree that it's a personal decision.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

this is a heated topic-in all honesty its really up to each individual family. I used to always want to be a stay at home mom, but that's changed over the past few years. I have a career that I love (and I have the option of working from home) and in all honesty don't know if I could stay home day after day for 18 years.
Raising a child is the hardest job in the world and I don't think anyone would dispute that, but if you're actually going to stay on long island it would be very difficult to even pay your morgage without 2 incomes (unless you're lucky enough to be making a large salary). I read recently that 2 incomes is hardly enough to live on long island for the basic middle class family...so even if some of us wanted to stay home, its not necessarily possible.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

My mom is a SAHM and I feel she has the hardest job in the world!!! I have complete respect for this role!

Me on the other hand, I couldn't do it. Would it be nice? Absolutely! I am a teacher and I love my career. I think it also allows me the opportunity to put 100% into my career and my family. When I have children one day, I will continue to teach and feel 100% comfortable with that decision. And I know I will be an awesome wife, mother and continue to be a succesful teacher!

Living on LI anyone that does not need the 2 incomes is very lucky and privilidged!! I can say securely that if I hit the lotto tomorrow, I would still teach. It is just part of who I am and I don't think that takes away my ability to be a wonderful wife and parent.

But to answer the question, If you can afford to stay home, and your FH is supportive of it, and this is what you want to do, then you go for it!

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by Becky

You know I would never disrespect someone's decision to be a SAHM, so I am a little bewildered as to why some people here are hell bent on making those of us who want to have a career and a family feel like we are depriving our children of 'having mommy around' to have material things, like we should feel quilty. Especially since a lot of us have said that we have a desire to work - which is not the same as saying 'I want nice vacations.' Its not like we will be in Africa

I am not going to judge anyone and I am not going to let anyone judge me. I said that being a working mom is the best thing for ME and MY FAMILY. What gives anyone who wants to be a SAHM the right to say that working moms are depriving their children of something? I hope you all don't stay at home and teach your children to be so self-righteous. There are many ways to raise a happy family. No one's way is necessarily RIGHT.

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Go Becky!

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

wow!!!!!! what a post!!!

I think the bottom line is if you want to stay at home and it works for you than go for it! If you and your husband/wife can swing it than more power to you.

Unfortunately, in my situation that wouldnt be possible. We are both teachers- I teach on LI so I make more. If we want to live on Long Island IN A HOUSE, were going to need both salaries. right now were paying off some debt and cant even afford a house...

plus, i like working- i love children and thats why i became a teacher.

however, also know how hard it would be to put my child in daycare. it costs $$$$ and the thought of someone taking care of my child is hard. Its a hard decision...

i guess when the time comes when we are pregnant well make some decisions.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

i guess when the time comes when we are pregnant well make some decisions.

That statement is oh so true.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I think the most important thing is that children grow up with happy, loving parents. If a mother is not happy giving up her career to stay at home 24/7, then that is going to rub off on her family. And I would hope that everybody can agree that a happy fulfilled mother is better than one home all the time but cranky and unhappy. To say that a woman who does not want to give up her career should not have children is ludicrous. My mother worked and she is an amazing woman and I never wanted for her attention. She was always there when I needed her and I would not have wanted it any other way.

That being said, if a mother is working and wishes she were home with her children her family should try to make adjustments financially so she is able to do so if possible. Unfortunately, this is not possible in all cases - not in this day and age. I hope to be able to stay home for a few years when we have children, and if it is possible I know FH will support that 100%. But if it isnt, I will still be a great mother and wife - and I do not doubt that for a second.