Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

All I have to say is Shana, I agree 100% with you that is my dream come true to be a SAHM...and unfortunatly i have accepted the fact that i will HAVE to work for at least the first child.....I know what you mean about being smart and educated, etc...but there is NOTHING wrong with being a SAHM if that is what you desire....and you could go back to work eventually if you wanted to. I had a friend say to me when I was in college, and stated that I someday wanted to be a SAHM , 'then why did you bother going to college?' I thought that was the dumbest question EVER! I got so mad.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

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Posted by don424

putting out...

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so according to this logic, this makes me less of a man if i tell boosh to go back to work?

want to make sure i understand correctly

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That's absolutely not what I said and you know it.

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you said 'buck up and be men'

what does preferring to have 2 incomes have to do with manliness

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by btrflygrl


for everyone....Thanks for your support. I don't feel less of a person anymore

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i'm glad you're feeling better about your choice.....and as my father always tells me....'education is never wasted'

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I have three female bosses:

1) her husband is a stay-at-home husband raising three kids...

2) her husband wants her to stay-at-home but she can't give up her shopping sprees (her words, not mine)...

3) her (i believe) live-in nanny takes care of her children...

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by btrflygrl

HEY NOW!!! This was NOT meant to be a post that caused controversy...I was feeling some self doubt and I need some support.

My husband wants the situation to be where I CAN stay home because #1: I Want to & #2 Because we CAN manage on one salary....

which leads to WHY we left NY...this is nto possible.

We agreed that if I choose to work at something I enjoy for the pure joy and not the money, it would be ideal...I haven't found that...YET....

But we DO agree that we CAN make a family life comfortably on his salary alone, when we are READY.....his sister does it now...2 kids, a dog, a house and 2 cars...and one salary!

Agreeing with DJPILL, DON, and Boosh....OF COURSE it's great to have 2 salaries while raising kids for emergencies...but that is a choice. I believe it can be done on 1 salary, and WE are choosing that life for awhile.

for everyone....Thanks for your support. I don't feel less of a person anymore

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no worries shana -- it's monday and i'm in my WWE frame of mind

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by don424

what does preferring to have 2 incomes have to do with manliness

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I am gonna let Don finish this debate for me with BMD. Once thing I have learned on here... me and Don can say the same exact thing. If Don says it... its taboo... but if I say it... its an attack.

Have fun Don.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by don424

what does preferring to have 2 incomes have to do with manliness

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I am gonna let Don finish this debate for me with BMD. Once thing I have learned on here... me and Don can say the same exact thing. If Don says it... its taboo... but if I say it... its an attack.

Have fun Don.

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I was actually thinking how surprised I was at Don---seemingly so sweet and cool, untill his buddies come around...

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by boosh78201

I would love to stay home after I have kids. Unfortunately in this day and age its not possible unless you have a husband that makes over $100,000

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I stay at home & my husband doesn't make $100,000!
I don't mind working but, I feel who better to raise my child then me?

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by don424

what does preferring to have 2 incomes have to do with manliness

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I am gonna let Don finish this debate for me with BMD. Once thing I have learned on here... me and Don can say the same exact thing. If Don says it... its taboo... but if I say it... its an attack.

Have fun Don.

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I was actually thinking how surprised I was at Don---seemingly so sweet and cool, untill his buddies come around...

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sorry, guess i'm not allowed to have an opinion

i'm out

sorry if i don;t live up to your expectations of being sweet and cool

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

i think most women who choose to have children would want to stay home with them to raise them.

however, i like to work, and even though i may stay home if i could until they went to school, i would absolutely miss working.

plus, as the guys mentioned, i would never want my DH to have sole responsibility financially, just as i shouldnt have sole responsibility of my kids.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by don424

what does preferring to have 2 incomes have to do with manliness

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I am gonna let Don finish this debate for me with BMD. Once thing I have learned on here... me and Don can say the same exact thing. If Don says it... its taboo... but if I say it... its an attack.

Have fun Don.

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taboo?

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by don424

i'm out

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Don:

Don't feel too bad. At least this thread did wonders on our post count.

Damm... I am slowly approaching the magical '1000'.

A few more of these controversial threads and i'll be there by the end of the week.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by DjPiLL

Damm... at least most of you girls actually lived in a house when you grew up. I lived in an apartment all my life. Still live in an apartment... even though its a co-op.

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So did I and so what????? I grew up in Queens and frankly, few of my friends lived in a house or had a pool (like that's important to growing up????).

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by don424


taboo?

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Maybe I used the wrong word. I meant to say that if you say something its 'accepted' 'ok' 'allowed' etc etc.

I am sure you get my point.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by IrishTracy

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Posted by boosh78201

I would love to stay home after I have kids. Unfortunately in this day and age its not possible unless you have a husband that makes over $100,000

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I stay at home & my husband doesn't make $100,000!
I don't mind working but, I feel who better to raise my child then me?

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That is great if you are able to do this, unfortunately for me its not an option.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I would love to be a SAHM - however - I was a single mother for 5 years, so I had no choice I had to work. I make a decent salary, however, child care and rent took it all. We had very little left for extra things. My son used to come home and tell me what stuff his friends had, and I always felt bad that I could not give more. I thought love and security were the most important things - other than the clothes he wears ( and they are not designer) - Anyway - my point - I live on Long Island and there is NO WAY that I could ever afford to stay home as much as I would want to - it sad - my sons friends are all spoiled and it makes me wonder sometimes - how come they have so much? How the heck can they afford what the have? But let me tell you it is heartbreaking when your kid comes home and really wants something and you cant give it.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by wc0143


So did I and so what????? I grew up in Queens and frankly, few of my friends lived in a house or had a pool (like that's important to growing up????).

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I think you mis-understood me. I have absolutely NO PROBLEM where I grew up. I love queens... apartment life... no problems with it whatsoever. So big deal I never had a house.

Its funny cause my FW knows I am happy with this lifestyle. She is the opposite.... LI girl... grew up in a house all her life. Used to the big back yard... etc etc etc.

She asks me every now and then 'are we ever going to get a house?' knowing I am confortable with Queens... the apartment... the easy commute to Manhattan... etc.

I tell her every time 'Hopefully down the road hun, we will have our own house'.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I'm not sure if this is going to come out correctly so please bear with me - if having your child raised by a parent is important to you then you will do what they can to make that happen.
My parents decided that my mom would stay home and that my father worked a few nights as a bartender (in addition to his day job). It worked for them and he only did it for about a year.
I know my mom and dad probably gave up a lot but the point was they wanted to - it's all relative to what you and your spouse are comfortable with giving up.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

Ever since I met Mike (when I was 14) I have always said I want to have babies and raise them. He knew what he was getting himself into LOL

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by Donna

I'm not sure if this is going to come out correctly so please bear with me - if having your child raised by a parent is important to you then you will do what they can to make that happen.
My parents decided that my mom would stay home and that my father worked a few nights as a bartender (in addition to his day job). It worked for them and he only did it for about a year.
I know my mom and dad probably gave up a lot but the point was they wanted to - it's all relative to what you and your spouse are comfortable with giving up.

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This is the bottom line...and really all i was trying to convey all along...