Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I think it stinks that moms who stay at home to raise infants earn NOTHING towards their social security - they are contributing toward the future of our society!!!

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

Yeah that does stink..what would stink even more is that there a possibility that those who even contributed may not see what the investment that most of us have put into social security. And one other consideration towards society is that so many parents go after the almighty buck and the kids suffer. These same kids raised by 'others' or who are left to raise themselves when mom and dad both work evidence suggests they are more likely to become troubled youth. So it all boils down to balance. If you work make sure 'you are still devoting time to instill values and be a positive influence on your child.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I don't think that it is wrong at all. I put myself through school and DH and I are still trying to put me through grad school, but I would stay at home in a heartbeat if we could afford it financially.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I would hate not working. I would feel like I was cheating myself. I worked very hard to get where I am and I think I would regret giving it all up. To me being a stay at home mom is not my idea of rewarding.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by MegLehner

I would hate not working. I would feel like I was cheating myself. I worked very hard to get where I am and I think I would regret giving it all up. To me being a stay at home mom is not my idea of rewarding.

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Maybe you shouldn't have kids then.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I totally agree matron!

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I shouldnt have kids if i dont want to be a stay at home mom? Then i guess most of the women I know shouldnt have kids. To me it would be more rewarding to have a succesful career and be a good parent. I work with a lot of women who are either associates or partners in well known law firms who also have to balance raising a family. I look at them and say 'wow' how do they do it. Many of them have husbands who also make a lot of $ and they could stay home if they wanted to - but they dont. To me striking a balance between your career and family and giving 100% to both is more rewarding than staying home w/ kids. I work in the area of civil rights law and i would feel like I wasnt doing what I was MEANT to do if i wasnt helping people and helping to prevent injustice.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by MegLehner

I shouldnt have kinds if i dont want to be a stay at home mom? Then i guess most of the women I know shouldnt have kids. To me it would be more rewarding to have a succesful career and be a good parent. I work with a lot of women who are either associates or partners in well known law firms who also have to balance raising a family. I look at them and say 'wow' how do they do it. Many of them have husbands who also make a lot of $ and they could stay home if they wanted to - but they dont. To me striking a balance between your career and family and giving 100% to both is more rewarding than staying home w/ kids. I work in the area of civil rights law and i would feel like I wasnt doing what I was MEANT to do if i wasnt helping people and helping to prevent injustice.

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I have to say I agree with this, I am a registered nurse and love my career-I worked very hard in college for it and to me it is a very rewarding career. Does that mean I shouldn't be a parent? I sure as heck hope not since I am having a baby in about 2 weeks!!!

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by MegLehner
To me being a stay at home mom is not my idea of rewarding.

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I so disagree with this statement. I LOVE my career. I couldn't imagine not teaching! I have wanted to be a teacher since I was in elementary school and I never waivered on it.

But to say that being a stay at home Mom is not rewarding is so wrong! My BF is a stay at home Mom. She is INCREDIBLE! I don't know how she does it! Her daughter is so advanced for her age. Why because her mother is there with her to constant engage her and stimulate her ( NO I AM NOT SAYING THAT CHILDREN WHO DO NOT HAVE STAY AT HOME MOMS WILL NOT BE INTELLIGENT-- I AM NOT SAYING THAT AT ALL-- BUT THIS IS WHAT MY BF CHOOSES TO DO WITH HER DAUGHTER!!) My BF gave up her career to raise her 2 children and I can't think of anything more selfless. Her whole focus right now is her kids and for her it is EXTREMELLY rewarding. She says she knows that she is there to see every bump, milestone and hear every word her children speak! How is molding a child not rewarding???

I can understand not wanting to give up your career, I will not be either but to say that being a stay at home mother is NOT rewarding is JUST WRONG!!!

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by swags1016

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Posted by MegLehner
To me being a stay at home mom is not my idea of rewarding.

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I so disagree with this statement. I LOVE my career. I couldn't imagine not teaching! I have wanted to be a teacher since I was in elementary school and I never waivered on it.

But to say that being a stay at home Mom is not rewarding is so wrong! My BF is a stay at home Mom. She is INCREDIBLE! I don't know how she does it! Her daughter is so advanced for her age. Why because her mother is there with her to constant engage her and stimulate her ( NO I AM NOT SAYING THAT CHILDREN WHO DO NOT HAVE STAY AT HOME MOMS WILL NOT BE INTELLIGENT-- I AM NOT SAYING THAT AT ALL-- BUT THIS IS WHAT MY BF CHOOSES TO DO WITH HER DAUGHTER!!) My BF gave up her career to raise her 2 children and I can't think of anything more selfless. Her whole focus right now is her kids and for her it is EXTREMELLY rewarding. She says she knows that she is there to see every bump, milestone and hear every word her children speak! How is molding a child not rewarding???

I can understand not wanting to give up your career, I will not be either but to say that being a stay at home mother is NOT rewarding is JUST WRONG!!!

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I did not say that being a stay at home mom could not be rewarding for some. Rather, I said for me ('to me') it would not rewarding.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by matron

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Posted by MegLehner

I would hate not working. I would feel like I was cheating myself. I worked very hard to get where I am and I think I would regret giving it all up. To me being a stay at home mom is not my idea of rewarding.

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Maybe you shouldn't have kids then.

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Holy Judgemental!! That was out of line!

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

All I'm saying is that I feel it's unfortunate that so many women put their careers before their children. I also think it's unfortunate that a woman would feel more rewarded by moving up in her company than to watch her own child grow up. I TOTALLY understand how so many of you are saying that you wish you could stay home, but you can't afford to, but those of you that are saying, 'Oh, I have my law degree/PhD, etc, and I could never leave that to be a stay at home mom....' to me, I believe maybe you don't cherish being a parent as much as you could. I wonder if your response will be the same once you have a baby. To each her own, I just believe that a baby (esp. a newborn) should be with her mommy if finances allow it. Once the child is a toddler, going to daycare/nursery school for socialization is healthy and a totally different story IMO. And yes, I'm successful. I left a six-figure job to be a SAHM. I also have a Masters. I wasn't meaning to be judgemental and apologize if I came off the wrong way. I guess it's just a sensitive issue for me bc I see so many babies forming closer relationships with nannies/daycares than their own moms these days, and I know what goes on at a lot of these places bc I worked at one. I understand there is no other choice for some, but for others? I just don't get it. I just love children so much and it hurts me to know how so many of you are putting your careers before your future families if you don't have to. I also think it's sad that so many of you need a good career to feel fulfilled. If you know you are smart and educated, you should feel fulfilled. You can always return to the workforce.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

As a SAHM I don't have a single regret in quitting the work-force. I love every minute I spend with my daughter and we have such an unbreakable bond that I doubt we'd have if she were raised by a daycare provider.

We don't make a lot of money but we always have food on the table and a roof over our heads. I don't mind not taking vacations or having money to throw around. Being at home with our daughter is reward enough. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by Rainmama

As a SAHM I don't have a single regret in quitting the work-force. I love every minute I spend with my daughter and we have such an unbreakable bond that I doubt we'd have if she were raised by a daycare provider.

We don't make a lot of money but we always have food on the table and a roof over our heads. I don't mind not taking vacations or having money to throw around. Being at home with our daughter is reward enough. I wouldn't want it any other way.

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Just curious?Did you like working before you had Maiah? Did you think you'd you'd be a stay at home Mom, or did things change once you actually had a child.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by tourist

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Posted by Rainmama

As a SAHM I don't have a single regret in quitting the work-force. I love every minute I spend with my daughter and we have such an unbreakable bond that I doubt we'd have if she were raised by a daycare provider.

We don't make a lot of money but we always have food on the table and a roof over our heads. I don't mind not taking vacations or having money to throw around. Being at home with our daughter is reward enough. I wouldn't want it any other way.

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Just curious?Did you like working before you had Maiah? Did you think you'd you'd be a stay at home Mom, or did things change once you actually had a child.

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I wasn't crazy about working (I was a bartender) so I really don't miss it. As soon as we found out I was pregnant we decided that I'd stay at home as long as I wanted. I work as a nanny now which allows me to take her to work with me. Although the money isn't terrific, it gives us a little extra, and I get to spend the day with my little pumpkin.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by boosh78201

I would love to stay home after I have kids. Unfortunately in this day and age its not possible unless you have a husband that makes over $100,000

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i agree...FH and I do well financially with our salaries combined right now...but with my check cut out...we'd be struggling...
Although I would love nothing more then to stay at home...my sister does and she said its more rewarding then any career or salary you can ever give her.

She looks at her son and said to her husband when he was born, this is my house, my mercedes, my everything...
I thought was ssoooo sweett

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

there is no possible way for me to stay at home when we have a family and not work.

I will work from home at least! We need the money to pay for their college education!

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

I agree with Meg and Dani. I have a law degree and I don't want to be a SAHM. But the law degree is not the reason. I knew before I went to law school that I would never be a SAHM. I love children and I can't wait to have my own. I know many successful attorneys who have children and a career. I work in a great law firm that is very family oriented. This is the best decision for me and my family.

It is unbelievable to me that a SAHM would tell a woman who wanted to work that she should not have children or that a mom who has to work would say that a SAHM is hurting the family by making the family live on one income.

This is a very personal decision to each person. I know that I would not be happy being a SAHM because I love my job. That does not mean that I will love my children less than if I was a SAHM or that I would place on someone else's shoulders the responsibility for raising my children.

I think every child deserves to grow up in a happy home environment. The bottom line is if the parents are unhappy (either because the husband is angry that he has to pay all the bills or the wife is miserable being responsible for every other aspect of the household) then the children will most likely be unhappy, too.

Why can't we all just respect each others decisions that we each make for our own family?

Butterfly, I choose a different path for my family, but I think your decision is totally appropriate for you and I hope that you can be the SAHM that you want to be.

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by Becky

I agree with Meg and Dani. I have a law degree and I don't want to be a SAHM. But the law degree is not the reason. I knew before I went to law school that I would never be a SAHM. I love children and I can't wait to have my own. I know many successful attorneys who have children and a career. I work in a great law firm that is very family oriented. This is the best decision for me and my family.

It is unbelievable to me that a SAHM would tell a woman who wanted to work that she should not have children or that a mom who has to work would say that a SAHM is hurting the family by making the family live on one income.

This is a very personal decision to each person. I know that I would not be happy being a SAHM because I love my job. That does not mean that I will love my children less than if I was a SAHM or that I would place on someone else's shoulders the responsibility for raising my children.

I think every child deserves to grow up in a happy home environment. The bottom line is if the parents are unhappy (either because the husband is angry that he has to pay all the bills or the wife is miserable being responsible for every other aspect of the household) then the children will most likely be unhappy, too.

Why can't we all just respect each others decisions that we each make for our own family?

Butterfly, I choose a different path for my family, but I think your decision is totally appropriate for you and I hope that you can be the SAHM that you want to be.

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well said

Re: Related to the I hate my job thread....Is it wrong to WANT to stay home or think that staying home is what I'm meant for?

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Posted by don424

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Posted by Becky

I agree with Meg and Dani. I have a law degree and I don't want to be a SAHM. But the law degree is not the reason. I knew before I went to law school that I would never be a SAHM. I love children and I can't wait to have my own. I know many successful attorneys who have children and a career. I work in a great law firm that is very family oriented. This is the best decision for me and my family.

It is unbelievable to me that a SAHM would tell a woman who wanted to work that she should not have children or that a mom who has to work would say that a SAHM is hurting the family by making the family live on one income.

This is a very personal decision to each person. I know that I would not be happy being a SAHM because I love my job. That does not mean that I will love my children less than if I was a SAHM or that I would place on someone else's shoulders the responsibility for raising my children.

I think every child deserves to grow up in a happy home environment. The bottom line is if the parents are unhappy (either because the husband is angry that he has to pay all the bills or the wife is miserable being responsible for every other aspect of the household) then the children will most likely be unhappy, too.

Why can't we all just respect each others decisions that we each make for our own family?

Butterfly, I choose a different path for my family, but I think your decision is totally appropriate for you and I hope that you can be the SAHM that you want to be.

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well said

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Ditto.