Wedding Forums > Brides Helping Brides ™ > POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank...
POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank...
BellaEyes
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:06 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:06 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by johnsae
ahhhhh - just copied this from emilypost.com....CLMon7906, all I have to say is BOO-YA!:
Wedding Etiquette —You're Invited to a Wedding. Now What?
Send a gift.
If you are invited to the ceremony and/or reception, you should send a gift, whether you are attending or not. Generally, gifts are sent to the bride in advance of the wedding. In some localities, gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. If you hear from family that the couple would prefer a charitable donation—as in the case of an older couple or an encore wedding —please respect their wishes. If you receive an announcement after the wedding has taken place, you may send a gift if you wish, but you have no obligation to do so. It is nice to acknowledge the announcement with a card or a note expressing your best wishes.
She said BOO -YA!..
this cracked me up!
hsacks23r
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:12 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:12 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
I would just send a thank youthey might mail you something
they do have 1 year to give a gift
CLMon7906
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:16 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:16 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by BellaEyes
Posted by johnsae
ahhhhh - just copied this from emilypost.com....CLMon7906, all I have to say is BOO-YA!:
Wedding Etiquette —You're Invited to a Wedding. Now What?
Send a gift.
If you are invited to the ceremony and/or reception, you should send a gift, whether you are attending or not. Generally, gifts are sent to the bride in advance of the wedding. In some localities, gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. If you hear from family that the couple would prefer a charitable donation—as in the case of an older couple or an encore wedding —please respect their wishes. If you receive an announcement after the wedding has taken place, you may send a gift if you wish, but you have no obligation to do so. It is nice to acknowledge the announcement with a card or a note expressing your best wishes.
She said BOO -YA!..
I expected more out of someone older than me.
Mrs. dleeny
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:21 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:21 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
I sent thank you's to those who didn't give us gifts. I thanked them for sharing in our day.and FYI - I got gifts quite a few months later. so you could have some gifts coming to you.
I know this is a touchy subject, but I have to agree with the ladies on here who said it's not an obligation to give a gift. especially from OOT folks.
ETA: and I also agree that it's BS for people to not give you so much as a $3 card
Jackie&Justin
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:22 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:22 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Unless your living on the moon or are 10 years old, I think everyone knows a gift or at least a CARD should be given at a wedding.I would not send a thank you.
diluvchu
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:22 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:22 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Give me a break! Etiquette went out the windows in the 1950's so throw that book or website out, because don't start quoting and follow it only when you want to pick and choose what you want. If you can't follow all the rules etiquette (which btw there are proper rules for TY cards) then don't quote them for gift giving.I guess I didn't look at my wedding as a fundraiser. Maybe I just didn't run home and open gifts or maybe I just didn't care about the money I made, because that wasn't what my wedding was about. I expected good music, good food and to marry the love of my life. All that happened. The gifts are just a bonus. And honestly, if I got nothing, I still would have had the wedding of my dreams.
BellaEyes
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:23 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:23 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by CLMon7906
Posted by BellaEyes
Posted by johnsae
ahhhhh - just copied this from emilypost.com....CLMon7906, all I have to say is BOO-YA!:
Wedding Etiquette —You're Invited to a Wedding. Now What?
Send a gift.
If you are invited to the ceremony and/or reception, you should send a gift, whether you are attending or not. Generally, gifts are sent to the bride in advance of the wedding. In some localities, gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. If you hear from family that the couple would prefer a charitable donation—as in the case of an older couple or an encore wedding —please respect their wishes. If you receive an announcement after the wedding has taken place, you may send a gift if you wish, but you have no obligation to do so. It is nice to acknowledge the announcement with a card or a note expressing your best wishes.
She said BOO -YA!..
I expected more out of someone older than me.
You have FM.
kittythestray
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:51 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 08:51 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by diluvchu
I expected good music, good food and to marry the love of my life. All that happened. The gifts are just a bonus. And honestly, if I got nothing, I still would have had the wedding of my dreams.
That's what I'm saying
lauren721
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:02 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:02 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
call me self-centered, call me greedy, whatever-- if someone came to my wedding and did not give us a gift at all, I would be aggravated and so would many of you whether you want to say it or not. It is RUDE, RUDE, RUDE to go to any celebration like a wedding and not bring a gift. Everyone knows this. If you don't, you are retarded. If you can't afford a gift, at least give a card. If you can't buy a card, write a nice little not on your dinner napkin, whatever. If someone came to my wedding and did not give me anything, they would not get a thank you. What am I thanking them for-- eating, drinking, dancing and having a good time on me? Please! I am sorry if I sound obnoxious-- I am not obnoxious in the least, but I honestly don't believe that anyone would be upset if this happened to them.
enjft
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:18 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:18 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by lauren721
call me self-centered, call me greedy, whatever-- if someone came to my wedding and did not give us a gift at all, I would be aggravated and so would many of you whether you want to say it or not. It is RUDE, RUDE, RUDE to go to any celebration like a wedding and not bring a gift. Everyone knows this. If you don't, you are retarded. If you can't afford a gift, at least give a card. If you can't buy a card, write a nice little not on your dinner napkin, whatever. If someone came to my wedding and did not give me anything, they would not get a thank you. What am I thanking them for-- eating, drinking, dancing and having a good time on me? Please! I am sorry if I sound obnoxious-- I am not obnoxious in the least, but I honestly don't believe that anyone would be upset if this happened to them.
I agree. There is nothing wrong to expect a gift or a card as well wishes on ur wedding day.
Alicia that Boo yah was funny as all hell
No offense CLM.
CLMon7906
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:24 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:24 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by lauren721
call me self-centered, call me greedy, whatever-- if someone came to my wedding and did not give us a gift at all, I would be aggravated and so would many of you whether you want to say it or not. It is RUDE, RUDE, RUDE to go to any celebration like a wedding and not bring a gift. Everyone knows this. If you don't, you are retarded. If you can't afford a gift, at least give a card. If you can't buy a card, write a nice little not on your dinner napkin, whatever. If someone came to my wedding and did not give me anything, they would not get a thank you. What am I thanking them for-- eating, drinking, dancing and having a good time on me? Please! I am sorry if I sound obnoxious-- I am not obnoxious in the least, but I honestly don't believe that anyone would be upset if this happened to them.
you can still thank them for celebrating the happiest day of your life.
lauren721
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:31 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:31 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by CLMon7906
Posted by lauren721
call me self-centered, call me greedy, whatever-- if someone came to my wedding and did not give us a gift at all, I would be aggravated and so would many of you whether you want to say it or not. It is RUDE, RUDE, RUDE to go to any celebration like a wedding and not bring a gift. Everyone knows this. If you don't, you are retarded. If you can't afford a gift, at least give a card. If you can't buy a card, write a nice little not on your dinner napkin, whatever. If someone came to my wedding and did not give me anything, they would not get a thank you. What am I thanking them for-- eating, drinking, dancing and having a good time on me? Please! I am sorry if I sound obnoxious-- I am not obnoxious in the least, but I honestly don't believe that anyone would be upset if this happened to them.
I am sorry, but I disagree. I could not find it in myself to thank someone for being rude and having no consideration for us. Thanking that person just allows their poor behavior to continue b/c now they will know that it is okay to attend a lavish affair without so much as a small congratulatory gift.
CLMon7906
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:38 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:38 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
so what many of you are saying is that you'd rather get a gift or money (cause the whole point of a card box is that money is inside the card) than to have just married the man of your dreams and share that moment and day with your friends and family? if so, why get married? just throw a party and ask for gifts. it seems pretty petty to practically demand a gift from someone to view them as worthy guests. by neglecting to thank them at all, are you any better?
johnsae
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:41 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:41 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by CLMon7906
so what many of you are saying is that you'd rather get a gift or money (cause the whole point of a card box is that money is inside the card) than to have just married the man of your dreams and share that moment and day with your friends and family? if so, why get married? just throw a party and ask for gifts. it seems pretty petty to practically demand a gift from someone to view them as worthy guests. by neglecting to thank them at all, are you any better?
oh, definitely. I think that's what we're all saying.
CLMon7906
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:42 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:42 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by johnsae
Posted by CLMon7906
so what many of you are saying is that you'd rather get a gift or money (cause the whole point of a card box is that money is inside the card) than to have just married the man of your dreams and share that moment and day with your friends and family? if so, why get married? just throw a party and ask for gifts. it seems pretty petty to practically demand a gift from someone to view them as worthy guests. by neglecting to thank them at all, are you any better?
oh, definitely. I think that's what we're all saying.
ALL? i think that while you'll don't stand alone, your opinion is not the only one. i really pity you if you really base a person's worth off a gift.
johnsae
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:44 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:44 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by CLMon7906
Posted by johnsae
Posted by CLMon7906
so what many of you are saying is that you'd rather get a gift or money (cause the whole point of a card box is that money is inside the card) than to have just married the man of your dreams and share that moment and day with your friends and family? if so, why get married? just throw a party and ask for gifts. it seems pretty petty to practically demand a gift from someone to view them as worthy guests. by neglecting to thank them at all, are you any better?
oh, definitely. I think that's what we're all saying.
ALL? i think that while you'll don't stand alone, your opinion is not the only one. i really pity you if you really base a person's worth off a gift.
you are getting married in a few days. it is only human to get stressed out, but try not to get your panties in a bunch over a thread on these boards.
best of luck to you
JohnnysGirl350
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:44 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:44 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Personally I would, just becuase its the right thing to do. Wouldn't make me HAPPY mind you, but I would end up doing it...
CLMon7906
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:45 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:45 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by johnsae
you are getting married in a few days. it is only human to get stressed out, but try not to get your panties in a bunch over a thread on these boards.
best of luck to you
i'm not stressed nor are my panties in a bunch...i simply find it appalling that someone would actually admit to expecting a gift...a gift is just that...a gift....you aren't entitled to it. it's what someone deems you worthy of receiving.
kittythestray
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:46 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:46 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Posted by lauren721
I am not obnoxious in the least, but I honestly don't believe that anyone would be upset if this happened to them.
My FH and I are paying for our wedding ourselves 100%, and I would not, in any way, be upset. Unless it was my Mom, she really could go get me a card
I am inviting them as my GUEST to share our day to eat and drink and be merry on me & fh. ....and if it really bothered me I'd SAY something to them because if it DID just get lost you'll feel bad that you didn't say thank you, and if you feel that strongly about it then you should let them know what you think is proper.
MrsMichel07
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:48 PM+
Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:48 PM
Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?
Sorry... I had to jump on this real quick....I think some of you are seriously fooling yourselves..... and I will leave it at!!!!!
Well maybe I won't.....
I wonder why people register for gifts for a shower/wedding- do you not expect a gift? I am sure you do- after all u did register.
Fool yourselves if you want... it is customary to give a gift when you attend a wedding, bridal shower, baby shower and now I find out e-parties too!!!!
I'll say it again... don't fool yourselves.....
O BTW: If you are coming to MY wedding I want you to enjoy yourselves and eat and be merry but I tell you this I EXPECT a gift!!!!
ETA: Let's keep it real!!!!
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