POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

We have several people that haven't gotten us gifts, although they seem to be trickling in 2 months after the big day. I really am ticked off at the people that didn't give us anything - do you think I should still write them a thank you for attending the wedding, even though they didn't give a gift?

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

I would just send a pleasant thank you card, no picture. Just state that you're glad they could share in your wonderufl day and hope they had as an amazing time as you did. Signed, so and so. That's all and don't include a photo.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

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Posted by ewickens

I would just send a pleasant thank you card, no picture. Just state that you're glad they could share in your wonderufl day and hope they had as an amazing time as you did. Signed, so and so. That's all and don't include a photo.

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Thats not a bad idea, I would do the same if it was me in the same situation.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

This is a sticky situation, and I certainly understand you being upset, but I try to focus on what's important. The reason you invited people to your wedding was because you wanted them to celebrate with you, they seem to have done that. Sure a gift is usally commonplace and is often seen as rude if not given, but remember it's not the reason why you asked them to be there.

So yes, I would send them a 'thanks for sharing in our special day' TY. And then you can save the 'thanks for your generosity and thoughtfulness' for everyone else.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

Of course you should. Some people, lame as this may sound, do not know that a gift is a nice gesture aside from being there sharing in a couple's most special day...and we don't always truly know someone's financial situation either. You shouldn't be expecting a gift and be turned off in the first place...no one is required to give a gift...it's a nice gesture done by our guests to help us prepare a nice home for our future.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

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Posted by cindyandkevin

So yes, I would send them a 'thanks for sharing in our special day' TY. And then you can save the 'thanks for your generosity and thoughtfulness' for everyone else.

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I would do the same.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

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Posted by CLMon7906

Of course you should. Some people, lame as this may sound, do not know that a gift is a nice gesture aside from being there sharing in a couple's most special day...and we don't always truly know someone's financial situation either. You shouldn't be expecting a gift and be turned off in the first place...no one is required to give a gift...it's a nice gesture done by our guests to help us prepare a nice home for our future.

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ok, but I respectfully disagree that 'of course I should' - sorry, but I think a gift is expected.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

we didnt send a TY to a couple that didnt even give us a card.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

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Posted by cindyandkevin

This is a sticky situation, and I certainly understand you being upset, but I try to focus on what's important. The reason you invited people to your wedding was because you wanted them to celebrate with you, they seem to have done that. Sure a gift is usally commonplace and is often seen as rude if not given, but remember it's not the reason why you asked them to be there.

So yes, I would send them a 'thanks for sharing in our special day' TY. And then you can save the 'thanks for your generosity and thoughtfulness' for everyone else.

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I couldn't agree more with Cindy.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

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Posted by cindyandkevin

This is a sticky situation, and I certainly understand you being upset, but I try to focus on what's important. The reason you invited people to your wedding was because you wanted them to celebrate with you, they seem to have done that. Sure a gift is usally commonplace and is often seen as rude if not given, but remember it's not the reason why you asked them to be there.

So yes, I would send them a 'thanks for sharing in our special day' TY. And then you can save the 'thanks for your generosity and thoughtfulness' for everyone else.

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I couldn't agree more with Cindy.

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I agree too...although it would pain me to do so.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

I think you should go with your gut feeling. If someone had not given us a gift, I would not have sent a thank you. I felt that it was like asking for a gift by just saying 'thanks for coming.' I already thanked them for coming when I saw them that day.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

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Posted by cindyandkevin

This is a sticky situation, and I certainly understand you being upset, but I try to focus on what's important. The reason you invited people to your wedding was because you wanted them to celebrate with you, they seem to have done that. Sure a gift is usally commonplace and is often seen as rude if not given, but remember it's not the reason why you asked them to be there.

So yes, I would send them a 'thanks for sharing in our special day' TY. And then you can save the 'thanks for your generosity and thoughtfulness' for everyone else.

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I agree.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

maybe I will have DH decide, since it was mostly his friends that didn't send the gifts

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

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Posted by johnsae

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Posted by CLMon7906

Of course you should. Some people, lame as this may sound, do not know that a gift is a nice gesture aside from being there sharing in a couple's most special day...and we don't always truly know someone's financial situation either. You shouldn't be expecting a gift and be turned off in the first place...no one is required to give a gift...it's a nice gesture done by our guests to help us prepare a nice home for our future.

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ok, but I respectfully disagree that 'of course I should' - sorry, but I think a gift is expected.

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A GIFT IS EXPECTED? That might be the most self-centered thing I've read on this site in a long time. No one should expect a gift...we all get mad that our vendors expect a tip...and here you are expecting a gift? Unbelievable.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

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Posted by CLMon7906

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Posted by johnsae

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Posted by CLMon7906

Of course you should. Some people, lame as this may sound, do not know that a gift is a nice gesture aside from being there sharing in a couple's most special day...and we don't always truly know someone's financial situation either. You shouldn't be expecting a gift and be turned off in the first place...no one is required to give a gift...it's a nice gesture done by our guests to help us prepare a nice home for our future.

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ok, but I respectfully disagree that 'of course I should' - sorry, but I think a gift is expected.

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A GIFT IS EXPECTED? That might be the most self-centered thing I've read on this site in a long time. No one should expect a gift...we all get mad that our vendors expect a tip...and here you are expecting a gift? Unbelievable.

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I don't really think it is unbelievable. Unless, of course, you're the type of person that goes to a wedding without a gift.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

Alicia - if you don't want to send a TY card, don't. There's no reason you should feel 'forced' to send them anything if you felt it was inappropriate.

We had two couples who didn't give us anything. One set came and apologized that they couldn't afford to give us anything (which is true b/c we know their financial situation) and the other set came and didn't mention jack, and haven't.

To the couple that apologized - we're sending them a thank you. To the ones that didn't - we're not.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

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Posted by ChrissynRicky

Alicia - if you don't want to send a TY card, don't. There's no reason you should feel 'forced' to send them anything if you felt it was inappropriate.

We had two couples who didn't give us anything. One set came and apologized that they couldn't afford to give us anything (which is true b/c we know their financial situation) and the other set came and didn't mention jack, and haven't.

To the couple that apologized - we're sending them a thank you. To the ones that didn't - we're not.

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thanks. even a card would be nice, and everyone can afford that. that was nice of the couple that didn't give you a gift to explain themselves. there is one particular person that is friends with DH that never gives gifts at weddings - he feels his presence is his present

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

We had a couple of stiffers too, but I sent a Thank You for sharing in our special day card anyway.

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

send it to shove it in their face that they have no manners!

Re: POLL: If someone attended our wedding but didn't give a gift or even a card, do I write them a thank you anyway?

Alicia,

We had 2 couples come and didn't give gifts. Both traveled from out of state. We are sending them a thank you just for being there on our special day.