Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by KitWisdom
To me, that’s what feminism is: being equals and being able to do anything.

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ITA!! or i should say i *wish* that is what feminism meant. i feel that because i choose to cook and clean and take care of my kids while my husband works. . . it is looked down on by society. . .like i am being a slave to my husband etc.

so that was very well said - while i was that was what feminism means i do not believe that it is at that point yet

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Okay, then we are in agreeance! What you said about your male cousins’ wives who just sit around at home all day…that’s not feminism, that’s laziness! It would tick me off something awful if they used feminism as an excuse for that, but I could actually see it happening.

If you are happy staying home and taking care of your FH/DH—more power to you! I know I can’t cook for my life and I have a pretty good job while he’s a grad student, so that’s just the way the cookie crumbled for us. I have to admit I’m looking forward to moving to Sweden where FH has a job and I won’t right away. I like the idea of setting up a new home…who knows, maybe I’ll even learn to cook!

I will add that the very little I heard of Dr. Laura on her radio show made me angry…but she has some valid thoughts, seemingly, in that book.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

But the book isn't about doing everything for him, and making him happy all the time at your expense. It's about understanding what men respond to, and how they perceive things. It's about making him happier, which will make him want to make you happier

but isnt every man different? arent all people different?? she is putting men into this category and saying they will all respond to her ideals of the way a woman should be. how does she know how men will respond, did she used to be one??

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

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Posted by KitWisdom


I will add that the very little I heard of Dr. Laura on her radio show made me angry…but she has some valid thoughts, seemingly, in that book.

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That's exactly my point. You don't have to like her, you don't have to like who she is, but, she has good advice.... and WHO CARES where it comes from, or how lurid her past is?
Let her be a hypocrite as much as she wants. I read her book, and, in a week, by taking some of her advice, my relationship has improved.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

A person doesn't need to have a perfect past to be able to offer advice. Drug counselors are often former addicts, people who made mistakes in the past learn from them... at least they should. So if you still think that someone has to have a perfect past or a completely hypocritally-free life to offer advice, no point in reading any further. We'll never agree. That's fine.

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the difference between a drug counselor and Dr. Laura is that a drug counselor ADMITS and speaks OPENLY about what they've done -- since her scandal and info came out years ago--she avoids the subject like a plague and JUDGES the women who call into he show and calls them whores. that makes a huge difference IMO

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Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

You don't have to like her to take some of her advice, in the book. I'm not saying it again.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

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Posted by AmandaLynn04


The knee-jerk reaction by anyone who believes themselves to be a feminist is going to be to hate this and to hare her advice because it basically is a traditional view of things. If you can never be swayed into thinking that some of those traditional ways of thinking are correct, then again, we will never agree. That's fine too.

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I guess I would consider myself a feminist, and I didn’t have a horrible reaction to your review…more than anything, I felt like some things didn’t apply. My FH is *totally* not the stereotypical big mainly guy—he’s European! Lol So the whole ‘he needs a battle or a war to win’ just didn’t ring true.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

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Posted by cbcf

Thanks Amanda I appreciate the review. I read the whole thing and found it very interesting. I don't think I will read this book but I might buy the one you said you just bought...The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

I mean I feel like I have been living this books ways (not all of the suggestionsin the book however) throughout FH and my whole relationship. I mean since FH and I don't see each other like ever since he was stationed in San Diego and now Japan. I feel we have such great compromising skills and communication as well as not taking each other for granted. I appreciate every min i have on the phone with him and always make time to sit on the webcams on the weekend. Plus I mean I know he is on the other side of the country but hwen he tells me he is going out for the night with some guys- thats where the convo ends- ITS FINE WITH ME. I mean not that I really could do anything with himbeing in Japan but I mean I could be a pain in the @$$ and ***** about it. BUt I dont I realize he needs his time to go out and enjoy himself with the guys...

Thanks again Amanda!!

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the book she was talking about is the proper care and feeding of husbands.

I think most of us do the things she says and like you said - i think this book just brings it to our attention and helps you realize the affects of treating each other in this way

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

i dont not like HER, i just dont like her advice.

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Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

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Posted by KitWisdom

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Posted by AmandaLynn04


The knee-jerk reaction by anyone who believes themselves to be a feminist is going to be to hate this and to hare her advice because it basically is a traditional view of things. If you can never be swayed into thinking that some of those traditional ways of thinking are correct, then again, we will never agree. That's fine too.

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I guess I would consider myself a feminist, and I didn’t have a horrible reaction to your review…more than anything, I felt like some things didn’t apply. My FH is *totally* not the stereotypical big mainly guy—he’s European! Lol So the whole ‘he needs a battle or a war to win’ just didn’t ring true.

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Right, not everything will apply. I purposely picked the sections that I picked to quote for a reason. Because the book isn't for everyone. There are things in it that I don't agree with. And, anyone who bothered to read the whole thing (as you did) saw that, because I clearly stated that.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

You don't have to like her to take some of her advice, in the book. I'm not saying it again.

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exactly i think this is where the problem is.. i dont ever believe ALL of what someone preaches - but some of her advice makes sense and does work.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

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Posted by KitWisdom


I will add that the very little I heard of Dr. Laura on her radio show made me angry…but she has some valid thoughts, seemingly, in that book.

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That's exactly my point. You don't have to like her, you don't have to like who she is, but, she has good advice.... and WHO CARES where it comes from, or how lurid her past is?
Let her be a hypocrite as much as she wants. I read her book, and, in a week, by taking some of her advice, my relationship has improved.

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Then you know what? This book has served you very well. Maybe it wasn’t necessarily Dr. Laura (I’m an editor and a big believer that they change a book more than you would think!), but the actual physical book has made your life a little better and no one can knock that.

I try to ignore the personalities of individual people as much as possible—I’m big into poetry and after working on a book about a ton of alcoholic writers (who were also complete @$$holes) I think it’s better just not to think about the writer, and enjoy the actual written word.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

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Posted by KitWisdom

I think it’s better just not to think about the writer, and enjoy the actual written word.

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I think that is exactly what Amanda and I were saying.

and to take something away from it.. which is what amanda did - she doesnt beleive everything Dr. L preaches but there are things in their that made sense to her, to me - some may not get that from the book - i guess - but one should have an open mind

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by KitWisdom

I think it’s better just not to think about the writer, and enjoy the actual written word.

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I think that is exactly what Amanda and I were saying.

and to take something away from it.. which is what amanda did - she doesnt beleive everything Dr. L preaches but there are things in their that made sense to her, to me - some may not get that from the book - i guess - but one should have an open mind

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Exactly.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

I don't agree with everything she says...but I feel that some of the things are very true.

Plus why bash her for who she WAS. I mean yes people make mistakes. And I don't like when people are hypocritical. BUT...she isn't doing this stuff now she did it when she was younger. And maybe she wishes she had this advice when she was younger to be able to reflect upon and it could have saved her marriage and not get into the situations she put herself into. I mean her advice isnt demanding it is just there for whoever wants to take it accept it and reflect on it.

Like I said I dont agree with everything. Come on now if I am tired and really dont want to have sex FH can understand that and we can do it tomorrow mornign when I am refreshed

But I mean I am willing to make my FH happy- After all I love the man and want to spend the rest of my life with him I dont want him to be miserable. And yes we respect each other and do things eqaully and compromise. But if I am staying at home with children and am lucky enough to do that because FH makes a good amount of $ I am definitely going to be greatful and appreciate that and yes be nice nad greet him and possibly have dinner ready for him or something- unless i have 3 young children and was running around after them all day. but then that goes towards FH. When I respect what he does I know he respects what I do and we are there for each other. I mean no I dont think we need to be at their beck and call but yes I will always be there for FH if he needs me because I know he will be there for me.

Oh and on another note- I know that my FH def doesnt understand me sometimes when I say things..so yes I should make it simple for him. But I also nkow he has emotions that arent the same as mine and I cant get mad at him for that!! hehe

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Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

I just have one question:

Where is the book entitled 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Wives' ???

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by cbcf

Thanks Amanda I appreciate the review. I read the whole thing and found it very interesting. I don't think I will read this book but I might buy the one you said you just bought...The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

I mean I feel like I have been living this books ways (not all of the suggestionsin the book however) throughout FH and my whole relationship. I mean since FH and I don't see each other like ever since he was stationed in San Diego and now Japan. I feel we have such great compromising skills and communication as well as not taking each other for granted. I appreciate every min i have on the phone with him and always make time to sit on the webcams on the weekend. Plus I mean I know he is on the other side of the country but hwen he tells me he is going out for the night with some guys- thats where the convo ends- ITS FINE WITH ME. I mean not that I really could do anything with himbeing in Japan but I mean I could be a pain in the @$$ and ***** about it. BUt I dont I realize he needs his time to go out and enjoy himself with the guys...

Thanks again Amanda!!

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the book she was talking about is the proper care and feeding of husbands.

I think most of us do the things she says and like you said - i think this book just brings it to our attention and helps you realize the affects of treating each other in this way

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opps haha thanks Gina. I meant the one about Marriages that she mentioned haha

and yes I agree...I feel like we probably do do some of these things in our everyday lives. but fter reading amandas review i definitely realized it was brought to my attention more. and yes i agree with you even if you dont like Dr. Laura at least you can use some of this advice just in general. Treat people like you would want to be treated.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

ok so I know I am going to get flamed but let me just give my two cents....I work full time and then some...I am raising two kids...one with a medical condition......I clean I cook ....etc........I am not nor will I ever Kiss Fh *** just because hes a man.....guy time go for it have fun....do I make sure he knows that he is loved respected and appreciated ...I sure do .....day in and day out.....is it gonna kill him to do laundry ..nope he does it all the time.....he helps alot....we are equals in everything we do........