Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

Wait.... what's SAHM? lol


And, I know what you mean. When do we get that time?

And, I think, for me, that time will be once the kids are in bed, and FH and I get to spend our time together for the day.

And, that time will be the occasional Saturday night when I go out with my girlfriends and I leave him to watch the kids?

I have a generally different view on life, and, I know a lot of women won't agree with what I said above, but, that will work for me, and I would never expect it to work for everyone, but, I do expect to be respected for that being how I choose to lead my life, you know what I mean?

Does that make sense too? lol

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

---

Posted by EGreene79

I saw a few people mentioned something similar above, but all I could think when reading this, and the first post on this book, is that this is 'positive reinforcement training' that I use on my DOG! I can see how it could work on humans too, but it just made me laugh, particularly the line about (and I think this was in your first post) thanking him profusely when he brings out the garbage, so in the future he'll start to do it on his own. All I kept thinking was next time FH does something good I'll say 'goooooood booooyy!' and give him a treat!

I think it's great that this book works for you. Understandably it's not for all. I just got a kick out of some of her suggestions.

---

I know.... I know. lol.

Some of the things she says are far fetched.

But, let me tell you. I asked him once, after he took it, I thanked him, and told him that I appreciate when he does it, and, I haven't touched it since.

---

Actually, to be completely honest, after reading your first post I have been excessively thanking FH for things like putting the dishes away and cleaning up ... it's not having the same effect in my house ... He's more like 'it's your turn next!' Ah, FH, all about 50-50!!!

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Wait.... what's SAHM? lol

---

stay at home mom

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by EGreene79

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

---

Posted by EGreene79

I saw a few people mentioned something similar above, but all I could think when reading this, and the first post on this book, is that this is 'positive reinforcement training' that I use on my DOG! I can see how it could work on humans too, but it just made me laugh, particularly the line about (and I think this was in your first post) thanking him profusely when he brings out the garbage, so in the future he'll start to do it on his own. All I kept thinking was next time FH does something good I'll say 'goooooood booooyy!' and give him a treat!

I think it's great that this book works for you. Understandably it's not for all. I just got a kick out of some of her suggestions.

---

I know.... I know. lol.

Some of the things she says are far fetched.

But, let me tell you. I asked him once, after he took it, I thanked him, and told him that I appreciate when he does it, and, I haven't touched it since.

---

Actually, to be completely honest, after reading your first post I have been excessively thanking FH for things like putting the dishes away and cleaning up ... it's not having the same effect in my house ... He's more like 'it's your turn next!' Ah, FH, all about 50-50!!!

---

LOL. Well, I am very glad that you gave it a try!! It won't work for everyone! You're DH is onto us!!!

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by nmagel

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Wait.... what's SAHM? lol

---

stay at home mom

---

DUH.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by nmagel

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Wait.... what's SAHM? lol

---

stay at home mom

---

Thanks Nance

(DRINKS SOON!)

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Wait.... what's SAHM? lol


And, I know what you mean. When do we get that time?

And, I think, for me, that time will be once the kids are in bed, and FH and I get to spend our time together for the day.

And, that time will be the occasional Saturday night when I go out with my girlfriends and I leave him to watch the kids?

I have a generally different view on life, and, I know a lot of women won't agree with what I said above, but, that will work for me, and I would never expect it to work for everyone, but, I do expect to be respected for that being how I choose to lead my life, you know what I mean?

Does that make sense too? lol

---

Yep, that makes sense. I think the thing that the book fails to cover (and I'm totally speculating, I haven't read it) is that, yeah, we'll do all of these things for our husband, but we expect our husband to do all of these things for us too.

Marriage is a 2 way road, with 2 people striving for the same goal--- a happy marriage. If we followed, to a tee, what this Dr.-Woman is telling us, we really would be Stepford zombies who live to SERVE our husbands.... that's wrong, plain and simple. We, as women, need to be cared for just as much as our husbands do... they're our PARTNERS.

Someone said it earlier (or maybe it was on LIF because this very topic is being discussed there too).... this whole 'plan' that Dr. Whats-her-face came up with has a Catch-22... it could TOTALLY backfire.... you do all of these thing for your husband expecting to gain a more fulfilling marriage but in the end, he could wind up taking advantage of you and treating you like hired help.... I think there's a fine line there that, for those who plan on living this lifestyle (no judgemnet... promise!) need to be aware of.

I think that when you break down what this Dr is telling us, it's quite simple, but it needs to be altered here and there and in the end, you need to look at where it's coming from... a book written by a former unpaid W H O R E who reverted to a life of husband stealing LOL!

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

---

Posted by Espo22

interesting, thank you very much for the review.

I agree with alot of things, such as not nagging, saying what you mean, etc.

There was only one thing though that i didnt entirely agree with. Not that i dont agree with it but doesn't apply to everyone and what is said if women are not in the situation. Not every woman is a stay at home mom. Heres what im talking about:

'must say that an important point came for me when I was listening to you on the radio, Dr. Laura. You were listening to some woman grouse about picky little things, and you asked her, 'Does your husband provide well for your family? Are your kids all healthy? Do you get to stay at home with them?' and so forth. She answered yes to all of those questions. Then you said, 'So stop whining! You have forgotten to be greatful!' '

what if the woman helps provide with her husband for their family

---

You're absolutely right. And, I think that this whole thing applies completely differently to families where both husband and wife contribute financially. In that case, they both need to be greatful, and help each other out.

I think that is makes sense though, if you are a stay at home mom. In this situation, both husband and wife work really hard, and need to be acknowledged for doing so!

If that makes any sense. lol

---

YES If thats the case then i def do agree

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by AMGBride2008

---

Posted by nmagel

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Wait.... what's SAHM? lol

---

stay at home mom

---

Thanks Nance

(DRINKS SOON!)

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Wait.... what's SAHM? lol


And, I know what you mean. When do we get that time?

And, I think, for me, that time will be once the kids are in bed, and FH and I get to spend our time together for the day.

And, that time will be the occasional Saturday night when I go out with my girlfriends and I leave him to watch the kids?

I have a generally different view on life, and, I know a lot of women won't agree with what I said above, but, that will work for me, and I would never expect it to work for everyone, but, I do expect to be respected for that being how I choose to lead my life, you know what I mean?

Does that make sense too? lol

---

Yep, that makes sense. I think the thing that the book fails to cover (and I'm totally speculating, I haven't read it) is that, yeah, we'll do all of these things for our husband, but we expect our husband to do all of these things for us too.

Marriage is a 2 way road, with 2 people striving for the same goal--- a happy marriage. If we followed, to a tee, what this Dr.-Woman is telling us, we really would be Stepford zombies who live to SERVE our husbands.... that's wrong, plain and simple. We, as women, need to be cared for just as much as our husbands do... they're our PARTNERS.

Someone said it earlier (or maybe it was on LIF because this very topic is being discussed there too).... this whole 'plan' that Dr. Whats-her-face came up with has a Catch-22... it could TOTALLY backfire.... you do all of these thing for your husband expecting to gain a more fulfilling marriage but in the end, he could wind up taking advantage of you and treating you like hired help.... I think there's a fine line there that, for those who plan on living this lifestyle (no judgemnet... promise!) need to be aware of.

I think that when you break down what this Dr is telling us, it's quite simple, but it needs to be altered here and there and in the end, you need to look at where it's coming from... a book written by a former unpaid W H O R E who reverted to a life of husband stealing LOL!

---

Yep, basically, that's it. If you can take the basic idea from it, and leave it at that, you can quite possibly help yourself, a lot.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

---

Posted by AMGBride2008

---

Posted by nmagel

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Wait.... what's SAHM? lol

---

stay at home mom

---

Thanks Nance

(DRINKS SOON!)

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Wait.... what's SAHM? lol


And, I know what you mean. When do we get that time?

And, I think, for me, that time will be once the kids are in bed, and FH and I get to spend our time together for the day.

And, that time will be the occasional Saturday night when I go out with my girlfriends and I leave him to watch the kids?

I have a generally different view on life, and, I know a lot of women won't agree with what I said above, but, that will work for me, and I would never expect it to work for everyone, but, I do expect to be respected for that being how I choose to lead my life, you know what I mean?

Does that make sense too? lol

---

Yep, that makes sense. I think the thing that the book fails to cover (and I'm totally speculating, I haven't read it) is that, yeah, we'll do all of these things for our husband, but we expect our husband to do all of these things for us too.

Marriage is a 2 way road, with 2 people striving for the same goal--- a happy marriage. If we followed, to a tee, what this Dr.-Woman is telling us, we really would be Stepford zombies who live to SERVE our husbands.... that's wrong, plain and simple. We, as women, need to be cared for just as much as our husbands do... they're our PARTNERS.

Someone said it earlier (or maybe it was on LIF because this very topic is being discussed there too).... this whole 'plan' that Dr. Whats-her-face came up with has a Catch-22... it could TOTALLY backfire.... you do all of these thing for your husband expecting to gain a more fulfilling marriage but in the end, he could wind up taking advantage of you and treating you like hired help.... I think there's a fine line there that, for those who plan on living this lifestyle (no judgemnet... promise!) need to be aware of.

I think that when you break down what this Dr is telling us, it's quite simple, but it needs to be altered here and there and in the end, you need to look at where it's coming from... a book written by a former unpaid W H O R E who reverted to a life of husband stealing LOL!

---

Yep, basically, that's it. If you can take the basic idea from it, and leave it at that, you can quite possibly help yourself, a lot.

---

yeah that was the only thing i wanted to say that i was a bit like hmmm about but it doesn't apply to me so not like i was like OH NO NOW WAIT ya know. The rest of the things i agree with. I am sorry but some women are such HUGE nags and dont stop, i even sit there and hear them as they're going on and im like OMG SHUT UP!!!! i would go off if i was your bf lol.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by Meaghan729

---

Posted by nmagel

---

Posted by dancinmyazoff

. This sounds like the class that used to be taught in school during home economics during the 50's 60's that I heard about where you 'learned' how to be a wife.

---

Funnily enough, those women who took those classes had the marriages that lasted the longest!

---

doesnt necesarily mean they were happier, its because since the women didnt work, how would they support themselves??

not saying that divorce is better, im just saying i dont think there are more unhappy relationships today, its just that divorce is more socially accepted today, as is women being able to make enough income on their own to support their children.

---

ditto

just cause Donna Reed looked happy on tv and they taught us that crap in Home Economics doesn't necessarily mean that those 'long' marriages were happy. most often than not A LOT of parents divorce later on in life --- after the children leave --- when they look at their spouse and say 'i don't really like you anymore, i was in it for the kids'. so those 'long marriages' don't always mean perfection

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

I just read the whole thread on LIF. It's cute. And I feel really REALLY bad for a lot of husbands.

ETA: There is a thread on LIF about this, similar to this one, actually, about this one, with the same stuff, well, a lot of bashing, and a random '08er rolling her eyes saying how she couldn't even reply, and rolled her eyes.

.

.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

Me too.

.

.

.

.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by DawnSNY

I thought this was a great review... well thought out, detailed, and informative. I'm curious to read the book, because I'm traditional at heart as well... I should have been a 1950's HW. I hope thats not offensive to anyone.


Hmm... thunder just roared as I typed that... a sign?

---

Thank you, and, I feel the same way.... I'm super traditional. And, I completely respect those who feel differently from me.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

I just read the whole thread on LIF. It's cute. And I feel really REALLY bad for a lot of husbands.

ETA: There is a thread on LIF about this, similar to this one, actually, about this one, with the same stuff, well, a lot of bashing, and a random '08er rolling her eyes saying how she couldn't even reply, and rolled her eyes.

---

im all for a woman knowing how to treat a man. I always do nice things for FH, even if its something little, i always compliment him and like doing things for him. BUT a big problem is that men neglect their wives, and there will be women who bust their a** and they dont even get a thank you or showing some sort of appreciation. I just hope its going both ways. Not disagreeing with what is said in the book but at the same time a woman is trying to be the perfect wife and taking care of her man she needs to make sure he is a man that DESERVES this. i think this is just what im concerned about. Make sure its a man who does things for you too. Amanda not towards you just any woman in general. Of course the book says if you do these things you'll notice the change in your man and hopefully he'll be great too.

But like i said before I know many women who drive their men to act the way they do so its on an individual basis.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

I just read the whole thread on LIF. It's cute. And I feel really REALLY bad for a lot of husbands.

---

And now it is personal.

I so hate that it had to go there. Because really I love a good clean debate. But now it's gone all ugly.

One thing to talk about a book and to say if it suits you or not...that is fine, but now you are overstepping. You know who I feel badly for? I feel badly for those who are so idealized about marriage but are inexperienced. I feel badly for those who think they have it all figured out because when things go wrong - and trust me they will - the book won't help. I feel badly for those who are so unsure of who they are, and what they are in their life, that they have to read some BS manual written by a hypocritical hag. I am so glad that reading one book has made a foundation for you to criticize and feel 'really REALLY bad for a lot of'LIF DHs. Totally uncalled for.

And for the most part the thread on LIF was pretty tame & again disagreeing with the book (although I do understand that the title would suggest otherwise). Most were just amused and joking about a lot of the points made in the post by the author, not the poster.

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04


Thank you, and, I feel the same way.... I'm super traditional. And, I completely respect those who feel differently from me.

---

wow, you respect us enough to feel badly for our husbands. How nice!

Re: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands! (REVIEW) LONGEST POST EVER, BE WARNED!

---

Posted by HearzBellz

---

Posted by AmandaLynn04

I just read the whole thread on LIF. It's cute. And I feel really REALLY bad for a lot of husbands.

---

And now it is personal.

I so hate that it had to go there. Because really I love a good clean debate. But now it's gone all ugly.

One thing to talk about a book and to say if it suits you or not...that is fine, but now you are overstepping. You know who I feel badly for? I feel badly for those who are so idealized about marriage but are inexperienced. I feel badly for those who think they have it all figured out because when things go wrong - and trust me they will - the book won't help. I feel badly for those who are so unsure of who they are, and what they are in their life, that they have to read some BS manual written by a hypocritical hag. I am so glad that reading one book has made a foundation for you to criticize and feel 'really REALLY bad for a lot of'LIF DHs. Totally uncalled for.

And for the most part the thread on LIF was pretty tame & again disagreeing with the book (although I do understand that the title would suggest otherwise). Most were just amused and joking about a lot of the points made in the post by the author, not the poster.

---

You're wrong. There were MANY posts over there that were outright NASTY. Not all, but, there were quite a few. This NEVER became personal here, but, it did over there, and, well, that's just sad.