Help me find a rabbi!

I'm not Jewish. FH is, but he ahsn;t set foot in the synagogue, literally since his bar mitzvah. He was supposed to be called up to the torah the following week and never showed up. Also, that temple is conservative, and therefore out of the Q for our interfaith wedding.

We need a rabbi who will officiate! And who will co-officiate! Who will sit down with us and help us. I'd prefer that it not be a dial-a-rabbi kind of thing, but rather one who is associated witha congregation and does more than weddings for $$$. I think FH's family would be more comfortable with a male rabbi. Any suggestions?

Also...did anyone have thier wedding outside the synagogue? Where'd you have it?

Re: Jewish Brides

We are doing almost all teh traditional stuff. My FH is Israeli (secular) and my family is Israeli. We go to shul a few times a year (maybe once a month on Shabbat), but keep the major holidays, etc... I am walking around him (which he doesn't want). I am still trying to decide if I will do this 7 or 3 times. We are exchanging rings and of course the breaking of the glass. We will have a Yichud after (which is when the bride and groom are alone). I will not be fasting and I don't think he will be. We are meeting with teh rabbi after passover and will discuss anything.

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Okay my fellow yiddish mamas. Can anyone recommend a Rabbi who is near the Nassau/ Queens border.thank you.

ps u can fm me with any names.

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I am so sad right now!

Fh's grandfather just passed away.

That being said, I just learned that Fh's father will be in mourning for a whole year, which means that he will not partake in the wedding (dance etc.) I had wanted him to say the hamotzi over the challah. I didn't realize how many restrictions there are when someone passes away.

Sorry for posting this here, but I figured you ladies would understand the most. Not only am I sad about his grandfather, but now FH is sad about his dad not being able to be happy at our wedding :(

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I'm so sorry. That's really difficult. FH lost his grandfather last year. And his Grandmother is undergoing chemo. I really hope she gets better...

Maybe you can find some way to honor FH's grandfather's memory?

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I am so sorry. It's never easy to deal with a loss, but I think it's even harder when you are in the middle of planning something happy. I understand the part about not dancing, but I was surprised that he won't even be able to make the Motzi over the Challah now. Is your FH's father very observant? I know some people keep the rules of mourning for varying lengths of time, ie, 1 month, 6 months, etc. Even if he does keep it for the full year, I am sure he will still be happy on your wedding day. He may not be able to show it by dancing and actively partaking in the festivities, but I don't think that will change his joy at his son's wedding.

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Jax- I think I know your FH from USY. He looks so familiar- I was in Echud and Rakevet from about 91-95 and went to every encampment!!! Good luck on your wedding

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Grooveypeg, I'm so sorry about your loss

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Posted by June13/04

Jax- I think I know your FH from USY. He looks so familiar- I was in Echud and Rakevet from about 91-95 and went to every encampment!!! Good luck on your wedding

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Actually, FH was never in USY - I was though and I attended Encampment 94-96.

Re: Groovypeg...

I am so sorry for your FH's loss. to both of your families. As jax430 said, even though he may not be able to directly participate in dancing etc., you can be sure he will be very sappy for his son and new daughter (in-law)!

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so sorry for your loss. I am in a similar situation. My cousins from Israel were supposed to come, but his dad died this year (I am related to his wife), so he won't come and I don't think she will come wihtout him. It would have been so special- so have them.


But here is an idea. Pay your FFIL a few dollars and tell him that he is responsible for refilling wine. This way is not a 'guest' at the wedding but a worker. See as Jews we have loopoles for everything.

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Shelly! That's a good one!

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Posted by shelly3950

But here is an idea. Pay your FFIL a few dollars and tell him that he is responsible for refilling wine. This way is not a 'guest' at the wedding but a worker. See as Jews we have loopoles for everything.

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SHELLY! You're BRILLIANT!

I had never thought of that!!!!!! But it makes perfect sense - my VERY orthodox friend (who, incidentally, used to live with my FH as well as Jax430's FH) wanted to come to a recital I gave during college, but was restricted because it was during the Omer (a period of time between Passover and Shavuot when observant Jews can't hear live music, or attend weddings, etc.), so he videotaped the recital so that he could 'work' the concert and not have to miss it!

That was the longest sentence in history. Sorry.

Joanna, I'm SO sorry to hear about your FH's Grandpa. My Dad's Dad died a week before my parents' wedding, and the whole wedding had to be altered (less food, no band, which of course resulted in cranky guests and a very long cold war between the two sides of my family).

Finally, don't feel bad about posting that here - we're here to help each other!!!!!!!!

Oh, and I still owe you a drink - when are we going out?

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Posted by shelly3950

But here is an idea. Pay your FFIL a few dollars and tell him that he is responsible for refilling wine. This way is not a 'guest' at the wedding but a worker. See as Jews we have loopoles for everything.

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Great idea! I forgot about that loophole!

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I have to say, this is not my original idea. This was something my friends did so he could go to his niece's wedding. Glad I could help.

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Hi Ladies!
Can anyone recommend a rabbi that will perform an interfaith ceremony with a minister and charges $500 or less?? The rabbis I have met with so far, including Renee Feller and Ari Fridkis, both wanted $750 and $700, which is too much for half an hour!
Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated...please FM me with names and prices if you know of any.
Thanks!

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hi julesn5- i am having the same dliemma! i cannot believe how much rabbis charge for a half hour ceremony. anyone with a suggestion for julesn5-can you please FM me too? thanks!

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Sorry for your loss, groovypeg!

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groovypeg- I am in a similar situation. My uncle's mother passed away a few months ago so he has to have a 'job' in order to come to our wedding. My cousin (his daughter) had a great suggestion- he will open the doors for me when I enter the chapel- that way, he can be inside the chapel for the ceremony. And then he will open the doors for us when we enter the ballroom so that he can be inside the reception area. He may have to eat his meal outside the ballroom (his choice) and he can;t dance but at least he will have a 'job' that allows him to be with us for the big stuff. Our rabbi thought that was a great idea!

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Will my Fh's father even be able to walk with him down the aisle???? This just gets more depressing. I feel so bad for my FFIL, it is hard enough to lose a parent, and now he won'tbe able to participate at the wedding.

Thanks for all of the ideas and support. It really means a lot!!