Jewish Brides

Original post by Nora101004

Nov 17, 2003 01:48 PM

Do we need an offical thread. Keep all our questions together? Maybe get a list of Rabbis?

Any thoughts?

Here's my Ketubah from Art Ketubah

cknyc Posted: Apr 12, 2004 09:06 AM

Re: Jewish Brides

So sorry for your loss Groovey Peg....But Shelly's idea is great. I do think he willl he able to walk down the aisle, just can't take part in the celebratory stuff....The ceremony itself should be ok!

MindyL28 Posted: Apr 12, 2004 09:47 AM

Re: Jewish Brides

Groovypeg- it really depends on how your FFIl feels and what his & your rabbi feel is ok for him to do. The more religous he is, the more restrictions he will have. It really is a personal decision. But another thing to consider is that usually, if it's your immediate family, you can participate. For example, my grandfather passed away within a year of my Bat-Mitzvah. My aunt came but did not dance. My father (since I am his daughter) was able to fully participate. My advice is to speak to your rabbi and have your FFIL speak to his rabbi. You will figure it out- I am really sorry for your loss!

sun86moon Posted: Apr 12, 2004 11:37 AM

Re: Jewish Brides

Those were some good ideas ladies for groovypeg! Joanna, speak to yhe rabbi marrying you and see what he says, That will give you the best answer out of everything!

julesn5 Posted: Apr 12, 2004 12:03 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

Sill Question, but what is the difference between a rabbi and a cantor when it comes to the wedding ceremony?
Thank you!

marymoon Posted: Apr 12, 2004 12:08 PM

Rabbi vs. Cantor

I think not much... A cantor doens't make it any less valid. In fact, you don't really need either. The rabbi/cantor doesn't marry you, you marry each other.

That having been said, FH wants a rabbi!

Chloegirl Posted: Apr 12, 2004 12:15 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

Is it tradition to have all the parents stand under the huppah during the ceremony? Is it really bad if we don't have it that way?

Both my parents are passed and I would feel really weird with both my FI's parents next to him and me alone. I also have no siblings. FI's mother is a little annoyed that she may not be standing...am I wrong?

nsgraham Posted: Apr 12, 2004 01:57 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

My FI's grandmother passed last month. She was 96 and her health was a source of concern for me - if she passed too close to the wedding, we might have had to postpone it. His mother is still in sheloshim and although she's reform/conservative she's also doing the full mourning for a year and isn't going to another family member's wedding because of it, but she's doing things for our wedding and going to it because it's her son.

I know that if it's a bride and groom's parent dies and the wedding is scheduled within 30 days of the burial, the wedding is postponed until after sheloshim, at which point the wedding is rescheduled and there are no restrictions on the joy of the day.

The job idea sounds like it might work too though.

Chloegirl, the idea is that both parents walk the bride and the groom down to the chuppah, which represents their new home. Everyone stands underneath the chuppah if they can. Do you have other people who can stand in for your parents, other people who have meant a lot to you? It can be two women, if that helps.

Chloegirl Posted: Apr 12, 2004 02:06 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

Posted by nsgraham

Chloegirl, the idea is that both parents walk the bride and the groom down to the chuppah, which represents their new home. Everyone stands underneath the chuppah if they can. Do you have other people who can stand in for your parents, other people who have meant a lot to you? It can be two women, if that helps.

Thanks for the explanation of the tradition. I really don't have anyone I want to stand with us under the huppah...but I guess I dont want to disrespect my FMIL & FFIL at the same time. It will just be really hard for me to not have my parents with me.

Jax430 Posted: Apr 13, 2004 05:57 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

For those of you who have been keeping Pesach....enjoy breaking it tonight! What's everyone going to eat? Pasta for me!!!

teejoy Posted: Apr 13, 2004 06:10 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

CAnt wait for teh chinese food.

Thats in between seeing the florist and going to see a band tonight.

flower1017 Posted: May 06, 2004 04:12 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

I am catholic and my FI is jewish, we are having an interfaith wedding. He wants to use a different ring than his real wedding ring for the ceremony, because he wants it to be a plain gold band. Those of you that have designs/stones on your bands, are you doing this too? Are you buying a special band or using another family members? Does anyone know the significance of this? I want to make sure we are incorporating both of our faiths. Thanks for the help

jill13bean Posted: May 06, 2004 04:16 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

Posted by flower1017

I am catholic and my FI is jewish, we are having an interfaith wedding. He wants to use a different ring than his real wedding ring for the ceremony, because he wants it to be a plain gold band. Those of you that have designs/stones on your bands, are you doing this too? Are you buying a special band or using another family members? Does anyone know the significance of this? I want to make sure we are incorporating both of our faiths. Thanks for the help

I am using the eternity wedding band with diamonds i am getting not a plain gold band

i don't like plain gold

dkwife Posted: May 06, 2004 04:31 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

Posted by jill13bean

Posted by flower1017

I am catholic and my FI is jewish, we are having an interfaith wedding. He wants to use a different ring than his real wedding ring for the ceremony, because he wants it to be a plain gold band. Those of you that have designs/stones on your bands, are you doing this too? Are you buying a special band or using another family members? Does anyone know the significance of this? I want to make sure we are incorporating both of our faiths. Thanks for the help

I believe they say that you should get married with a plain band b/c it is simple beauty, like your marriage... I am not doing this though : )

mrswask Posted: May 06, 2004 04:49 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

I bought a plain white gold band. I will get married in it and then put on the diamond band that is being made to match my engagement ring. I plan on wearing the plain band on my right hand.

nsgraham Posted: May 06, 2004 04:54 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

Number of different explanations- primarly so that no one is fooled by the value of the ring:

'This type of ring is used because it clearly shows the true value and purity of the ring.'

So that the bride knows exactly what she's getting.

Here's an article:

http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/preview.php?id=10093

Jax430 Posted: May 06, 2004 10:22 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

I am using my mother's original solid gold wedding band for the ceremony, then switching to my eternity band after

MindyL28 Posted: May 06, 2004 10:45 PM

Re: Jewish Brides

I don't even have a solid gold band and neither does my mom. I am going to see if my future MIL has one I can use. I guess I could just buy an inexpensive white gold band- right? My aunt has one but it's brass- I can't use that right?

princess99 Posted: May 07, 2004 07:17 AM

Re: Jewish Brides

We got married a month ago, and our rabbi told us as long as it is a ring with no cuts in it and it is worth more then a penny it is okay to use. We had to show our bands to our rabbi just to make sure it was ok, and it was, it is white and yellow gold sandwiched together, with engraving inside. Hope this helps.

Novembergirl Posted: May 07, 2004 08:18 AM

Re: Jewish Brides

I got married in the solid gold band my mom got married in. My Dad died a few years ago so I wrote in my program that I was getting married in the same gold band my father gave to my mother in honor of their happy marriage. The Cantor told us that my husband had to 'buy' the ring from my Mom and she couldn't just give it to us. He paid her $2.00.
Immediately after the ceremony I put my diamond band on but it was a nice part of my ceremony and I do sometimes wear that ring.