Re: Jewish Brides

sounds good
i hate it to be too formal
this mr. & mrs. stuff freaks me out!

Re: Jewish Brides

For those of you having your ceremony in a temple, what is the temple charging you for the ceremony and what is the suggested donation to the rabbi?

Also, has anyone ever been to Shaarei Shalom - East Bay Reform Temple in Bellmore? Is it nice? FH and his mother are familiar with it, and they may be able to accommodate our new date, and I was wondering if anyone had any honest opinions about it.

Thanks! It feels good to be planning again and to be able to consider having our ceremony in a synagogue!

Re: Jewish Brides

I know of that Temple b/c I grew up in Merrick...the only thing besides that it's new (I remember the synagogue being nice but don't know much about the room for a wedding) is that there really isn't any property around it...like grass!

BUT sun86moon who you can find on this board may be more familiar with it...you can try and fm her

Re: Jewish Brides

I am paying $450, but then I am bringing my own rabbi- I still have to pay for thiers. I am not sure what I am paying him. Hope this helps.

Re: Jewish Brides

I am paying $750 for their rabbi and cantor even though I am not using them! I am paying $500 for my own rabbi.

Re: Jewish Brides

We are not using the Rabbi at EMJC, but the temple fee for the sanctuary is $475.

Re: Jewish Brides

yup- that's pretty standard. We're paying JJC's rabbi a fee (I think $500) but we're using our own rabbi. Our rabbi is my fiance's uncle from Israel so obviously we don't have to pay him.

Re: Jewish Brides

Thanks! We're actually using the temple's rabbi, and he gets a 'donation,' but I don't know if the donation goes to him or the temple. The temple requires a fee for use of the sanctuary, but if the rabbi works for the temple, does his fee go to him or to the temple?

I hate all this 'donation' stuff. If it's a fee, call it a fee. We'll understand.

Is $500 standard for the rabbi's services?

Re: Jewish Brides

Hi jannshari,
I can inform you about Shaarei Shalom because my DH's family have been members for years. They do not have weddings there. We had DH's auf ruf there. Any other info you might want please feel free to FM me.

We were married by the rabbi of EMJC, he was wonderful!

Re: Jewish Brides

Thanks! I wish I knew that before we tried to get in touch with the temple president. It was like pulling teeth to even get him to return our phone calls and when FMIL finally spoke with him, he was useless. He didn't even know how much the cost would be to use the sanctuary and when FMIL asked if there was a place for me to get ready, he told her there was a coat check! I apologize if you know this guy, but we were really upset by this.

We are using Rabbi Kushner, though. We're meeting with him tomorrow night.

What questions should I make sure that I ask? I know that I need to ask about the ketubah, but does anyone else have a list of questions they asked the rabbi? Thanks.

Re: Jewish Brides

You might want to find out if he will allow you to wear a strapless dress, if your dress is strapless, you may want to ask who can sign the ketubah, my rabbi wouldn't let a woman sign the ketubah but my SIL, who was married by Rabbi Kushner, I think was allowed to use a woman. Thjose are some of my questions. Good luck, let me know how it goes or went, by the time you read this!

Re: Jewish Brides

We met with him tonight. He's perfect for us! He answered all of our questions and was very informative. He's very laid back about a lot of stuff and told me that as long as I wasn't wearing something that would get me arrested, he didn't care if I had my shoulders covered. He also said any two non-immediate family members or other Jews could sign the ketubah.

He gave a lot of background and information about the meaning of the ceremony and how the majority of it is the betrothal and the little bit at the end is the actually marriage. Things we never knew before and I'm so glad that I will now understand what the hell is going on around me while I'm standing up there!

Re: Jewish Brides

Hey, I posted this a while ago, but what are the hebrew letters that go on the invitation? Does anyone know?

Re: Jewish Brides

I have to check my invites when I get home, but I think it's Bet Hay. It's something like 'Under the eyes of Hashem'. I know that my orthodox friends write Bes Samech Daled on the top of their papers and such, but we used something else on the invites. If the person your order invitations from deals with a lot of Jewish weddings, they will know what to put. I will definitely check for you when I get home later tonight though. If I forget, just FM me.

Re: Jewish Brides

For those of you who are getting your ketubot from somewhere other than your rabbi, has anyone gotten one with both the traditional Aramaic text and the reform English text? Our rabbi told us that it's a good option for those of us who want the traditional aspect of it, but also want the more egalitarian language included as well. If you have this, where did you get it? We're getting married in 37 days and don't have a ketubah yet!

Kosher catering

Pickles:
I have a few tips about this from my 4/4/04 wedding review which you can link to through the bride's review. Essentially, many places charge you twice, once for the catering staff and services you do not use and then again for kosher. Kosher style is frequently cheaper because this is avoided. People tend to do Glatt not for cost but because otherwise certain observant folks will not eat. Please FM me if I can be of help.

Jann Shari -- ketubah question

We got our ketubah custom made by stephanie caplan at www.theketubah.com but she has some much less expensive and still gorgeous ready made ones with all different mixes of aramaic, english, lieberman clause...etc. My dad, an orthodox rabbi, married us, and she was able to meet his exact specs. Highly recommend.

Re: Jewish Brides

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Posted by LJoy

I need help! I can't think of what to get my brides maids.

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what about a gift certificate for afacial and manicure.I am paying for their hair to be done for the wedding and they are getting agift certificate for a manicureand pedicure.

Re: Jannshari Ketubah question

We did exactly that: Traditional Aramaic with more egalitarian English..it may not be reform English text, persay, but it is egalitarian. We got ours at Yussels in Merrick. They have a wonderful selection. Let me know if you need any more help. Good luck!

Re: Jewish Brides

We are doing conservative or orthodox text with the Lieberman clause in Hebrew and English. FH is Israeli so Hebrew is good for him. English is good for me. Not so much into the Aramaeic. I jsut keep thinking of 'the Passion.'