Real Weddings: Cariann and Andrew

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Cariann and Andrew
Caper24

Our romance began when I least expected it, in May of 2007. I met Andrew at my best (male) friend’s party at a bar in Rockville Center. Andrew was my friend’s roommate in college, so he and I had something in common right away…we both had the same best friend! Having the same “BFF”, gave us tons of conversation and an immediate connection. I was 39 and Andrew was 27 when we first met. I never considered dating a man in his 20’s when I was almost 40! The night we met he was complaining about how he couldn’t find a nice girl and he was sick of the games 20 yr old girls were playing with him. So, being the matchmaker that I am, I offered to put Andrew on match.com to help him find someone! (I was dating another doctor who was the same age as me at the time, but I wasn’t happy). I took pictures of him that night for his profile, so we exchanged email addresses so I could email them to him. We started talking more and more online and on the phone, when it dawned on me I would be crazy to put this incredibly gorgeous, sweetheart of man on match.com…I was going to keep him for myself!!! As we grew closer and he finally came out and told me that he would rather date me than anyone on match! He said the moment I walked into the bar that night, he thought I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but realized I was completely out of his league! LOL. So with the approval of our “BFF” we started dating and we have not been apart since.

I think our age difference made our wedding day extra special because Andrew’s friends and family could not wait to meet the “cougar” who was marrying their self proclaimed “bachelor for life.” That made for lots of anticipation and excitement for them…and as for me, a lot of pressure to look good! LOL! All his police officer friends at work were buzzing about wanting to know what I looked like and what made him chose me over the 20-somethings that were in love with him at the precinct! I think they expected me to look like his Mom! LOL. That motivated me to work out intensely everyday so I could look as youthful and as in shape as Andrew! His Mom is only 10 years older than me, and his Grandma is my Mom’s age, so that made for some interesting conversation at the tables, I am sure.

Our age difference also added much variety to our guest list and musical choices. My friends were all the married couples with children, while Andrew’s side was 20-something singles into partying all night long! We picked music from the 70’s and 80’s for me and my friends, while we still played all the top 40 “now” music of today. We all seemed to get along just fine!

Finding the love of my life after my long road of dating was nothing short of a miracle! I spent most of my 20’s in chiropractic school studying hard and working on my career to become a doctor. While my girlfriends were all out partying in their 20’s, meeting men, getting married and having babies, I was curled up alone away at school in Atlanta, Georgia studying to become a doctor. I just didn’t have the time with all my studies to work on my personal life! When I finally graduated and moved back to NY, I was 29 and now my goal was to set up a successful practice for myself….and to pay off all those student loans! I must say, I did create a successful practice and built it up for the last 12 years, but again I gave up personal time and put all my time into my practice and my patients. I can’t tell you how many of my patients would ask me, “Dr. Perretta, why are you not married?” ugh!

After a several years in practice, and an incredibly heart wrenching breakup with an ex, I decided to get another license in Acupuncture, which is where I met Andrew’s college roommate (our mutual “BFF”). He and I really hit it off in Acupuncture school as friends and now I know why…it was meant to be that he was going to introduce me to my future husband! Oh the days commiserating with him on my awful blind dating escapades! When he offered to set me up with one of his friends, I immediately said no, because I was used to dating men my own age and would never consider dating someone 12 years younger. I realized after I met Andrew that age had nothing to do with it, compatibility that was the key to a successful relationship. Andrew and I are compatible in so many ways. I am very active, I like the outdoors, sports and working out. Andrew’s energy is boundless, just like mine, so he can actually keep up with me! No wonder I wasn’t happy, I was dating men in their 40’s who were actually slowing me down. Andrew brought a fresh new dimension to my life, I no longer had to be with a couch potato!

The theme for our wedding was feng shui. As I mentioned, I am a chiropractor and acupuncturist, so I am very interested in eastern medicine and holistic healing. The goal of feng shui is to create balance, luck, happiness, long life, health, peace and harmony to your surroundings. I use the concept of feng shui in decorating my home and my office, so why not my wedding? I asked my florist (Jen from Verbena Designs, another LIW vendor) to create a CP with all 5 elements (wood, earth, fire, metal and water) so there will be positive energy at each table and especially on the floral arrangement that will decorate the arch under which our ceremony would take place. I also had "5 element" candle stands on either side of the aisle, which later were placed in the reception room in the east, west, north and south accordingly. Instead of having table numbers, I named the tables according to elements in nature…wood, earth, fire, metal, water, sand, wind and air. I chose the color “pool” blue and lime green with accents of gold for my color scheme, again going along with colors in nature. I think it allowed for my feng shui theme, but still kept the class and style needed to go with the Garden City Hotel décor

I fell in love with the Garden City hotel because of one word….elegance! The moment I walked into the lobby, I knew I had to have my wedding there. It is so classy and beautiful. The staff treated my guests like royalty and the food is out of this world. The catering manager, Mr. Borbely was so accommodating; he worked with us on every last detail. Andrew’s entire family was traveling from Albany for our wedding, so in consideration for our guests who were driving 4 hours to share in our day, we chose to have the ceremony and reception in the same place and then right upstairs to bed, so no worries about driving home after the party. We could have not asked for better quality accommodations.

To say it was the happiest day of my life seems like such a cliché, but it truly was, by far, the happiest day of my life. Having all my friends and family all in one place celebrating with us was my dream come true. The last time I saw my family all together in the same place, was at the cemetery for my Dad’s funeral. I remember thinking that day, wow, how sad I am getting to see everyone, but I am too overwhelmed with grief to enjoy them. On my wedding day, I DID get to enjoy my friends and family to the fullest. Also, I took a step back during the evening of our wedding and just watched Andrew. He was beaming with a glow of happiness and excitement, I never saw him that full of joy. Seeing him that happy only added to my emotion of pure bliss on my wedding day.

Andrew was in the Army Reserves for 10 years. He was activated for the clean up at the World Trade Center after 9/11, and in 2004 he was deployed to fight in the Iraqi war. He is TRULY a HERO. He is one of the bravest men I have ever met, yet so extremely humble, never wanting to be praised or recognized for his courage. It was no shock that when he came home after a year in Iraq, he decided to join the NYPD to further help people in his courageous way. I wanted to let him know and remind him how proud I am of him and his career choice and how he is my REAL LIFE HERO everyday! I had the groom’s cake made in the shape of his NYPD badge in his favorite flavor--chocolate chip brownie.

The day was full of “magic moments” and great memories…and each and everyone was skillfully and creatively captured for posterity. Amanda Picone, our photographer is talented beyond measure when it comes to capturing emotions through her photography. She took “real” pictures of how the day unfolded as opposed to posed ,or stiff, unnatural shots. Years from now, we will never have to take out a picture and wonder what we were feeling at the time it was taken, it speaks for itself. She caught me through some tears, laughter, nervousness, excitement, appreciation and of course, joy! She took the facial expressions of our guests that are priceless. My favorite is the picture of my Mom during our entrance being announced as the first time as husband and wife. This picture captures the way my Mom has always been my cheerleader in life.

I broke down crying right before I was going to meet Andrew for the photo shoot before our ceremony. Amanda called me out to my balcony to take some last minute pictures. I looked out over the balcony and just started crying to Amanda. It all just hit me at that moment. I said, Amanda I am 41 years old, I NEVER thought this would happen for me, I am so grateful and overwhelmed with emotion right now! She was snapping away as I welled up with tears. These are the pictures that will always help me to remember the sentiment of my day and not the stiff posed shots that do not show what we were feeling at the moment. Amanda is incredibly talented at the art of capturing emotion and still somehow makes you look gorgeous while she is doing it!

I would say the most special and memorable part of our big day would have to be our first dance. Andrew and I took lessons with John from Ballrooom Dance LI (another LIW vendor) At first, Andrew was just “going along with it” for me, but he grew to enjoy it so much, even more than me! It was special time together, no matter what stress happened to us during our busy days, we would have that hour every night to dance together. We chose my Mom and Dad’s wedding song, Earth Angel. My Dad passed away in 2001, and I know my Mom would be touched that we would want to remember my Dad in such a special way. We kept it a surprise from our friends and family, (especially from my Mom) and Andrew’s friends and family were blown away that I got him to take dance lessons and that he was actually a fabulous dancer! Everyone cheered and applauded through our dance, we were so nervous, but we did awesome and it really made our night special.

Given how quickly your wedding day will fly by, I would have to say I would give the advice to other brides and couples to do something that Andrew and I did during the dinner course of our reception… We sat back from our plates, held hands and just looked around the room. We took a minute to “take it all in” and appreciate it. We looked around at our friends and family and said thank you to God and to each other for letting this beautiful evening unfold. It was our love that brought this wonderful day to a reality and we felt incredibly blessed. I think it is important to take a moment sometime during your reception to acknowledge and appreciate that it was your love that got you here to this moment and relish in that feeling amongst your family and friends.