The Essence of Love and Marriage: Knowing What Love is Before You Say "I Do”
Nov 07, 2018 10:51 AM Back
We all want to find Mr. or Ms. Right…but is there really such a thing? According to experts LOVE has less to do with the other person and more to do with each of US.  According to experts, love is a cultivated emotion that requires us to love ourselves first and then project that love onto others including the person we are attracted to and have the most in common with.

1. Love the One You’re With:  Except for definitive “deal breakers” staying in love is as “easy” as showing love to your partner. If we each focus on pleasing rather than receiving it becomes a win-win situation.

2. Develop A “It’s Better to Give than to Receive” Mentality:  True love does not keep records or rights or wrongs. That does not mean we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of or to be walked on. What it does mean that we do not keep tallies of how many times we are right or wrong or how much we do for our family or significant other. We give and do simply because we want to. And, if each establishes this way of living there will be no need to keep score.

3. Familiarity Tends to Breed Contempt: Remember, the more you get to know someone the more there is to like about him/her and the more to dislike about him/her. Make sure you know about all the important potential dislikes before you commit as they WILL crop up and if your fear of being alone is keeping you together, these will only lead to resentment in the future. If however you like more than you dislike and you can live with the dislikes, you are ahead of the game…especially if you are not two halves coming together to make a whole…but two wholes coming together.

4. Opposites Attract…Not Always: We all wear rose colored glasses when in the throes of like…but our relationship can get shady once our blinders are removed. High hopes and high expectations can literally RUIN a relationship….and what we initially found interesting because it was different can be something we find irritating because of the differences.  Does that mean we can’t help each other change and improve? No…in fact that’s what heatlhy relationships are all about…bringing out the best in the other person…provided he or she is a willing participant. You can potentially change a person’s attire even behavior…but not intrinsic attitudes or character.

5. Its You and Me Against the World Baby: YES, YES and YES…once you are “hitched” you are one and a team…again the world. In fact, you are now family. Still, according to experts, being able to continue loving your mate means being able to continue loving yourself and not losing yourself or your identity. Maintaining your independence, autonomy and other happy, healthy relationships is key to keeping your marriage and your love alive. In fact, real love lifts you up and encourages and empowers you to love yourself and others.

Remember, there are no perfect people and no perfect fit…but rather a better or best fit for each one of us….and each relationship, especially marriage means working toward achieving lasting love and respect and not establishing unions based on momentary feelings.  As we practice loving and showing love…the more we will improve our love life.
The Essence of Love and Marriage:  Knowing What Love is Before You Say "I Do”
  • Chat With Local Long Island Brides
  • Mediterranean Manor Caterers
  • Lessings Waterfront Weddings
  • Chat With Local Brides
  • Lessing's Country Clubs-Lessing's Country Clubs
  • Bluestone Tavern-Bluestone Tavern
  • Honeymoons - Travel Agents-
Welcome New Vendors
wedding favors #splurgevssave #weddingdosanddonts #weddingplanning 2019 wedding affordable vacations after hours music armenia armenian wedding ideas autumn autumn wedding bachelor bachelorette bakeries bakery bands beach wedding beach weddings best bands best man advice best wedding bands black tie black tie wedding bridal extravaganza bridal gown bridal gowns bridal hair bridal makeup bridal planner group bridal reflections NYC bridal show bridal showcase bride bride-to-be bridesmaid brunch wedding cakes catering cellists charitable gift chignon classic music code bleu cultural weddings dance dance lessons day of coordinator decorations dessert ideas destination wedding diamond promotion djs doc donation gift double ceremony elegant wedding elopment engaged engagement engagement looks engagement session english wedding traditions entertainment etiquette event decor event planning Eyebrows fade to black ny fall fall bride fall harvest fall wedding fancy wedding fantasia bridal father of the bride father of the groom favors flute players food trucks good behavior gown groom groom pampering groom style grooms hairstyle harvest harvest wedding headpieces honeymoon honeymoon ideas invitation invitations invites irish weddings italian wedding customs jewish wedding traditions latin dance LIBE limos limousine liw liwedding liweddings long island long island bakery long island bridal extravaganza long island bridal gowns long island bridal show long island engagement photographer long island wedding long island wedding dj long island wedding gowns long island wedding photographer long island wedding photography long island wedding rings long island weddings makeup maltese wedding manscaping mansions marriage advice marrriage mehndi menu middle eastern wedding traditions military military wedding mirror beauty ring multicultural entertainment multicultural wedding national bridal sales event new york city wedding dress new york city wedding salon ovation photo booth party favors party planning long island weddings patriot brides Permanent Makeup pianists program Rain reception location rhapsody ring bearer gift roslyn hotel russian bride russian groom sale shuttle buses signature drinks skyline southern wedding ideas spring wedding spring wedding ideas spring weddings st. patricks day string duos string quartets string trios thank you note the black horse event traditions transportation travel trolley trunk show tuxedo updo vegan wedding cake vegan wedding dessert veils vintage music violinists violists wedding wedding advice wedding bands wedding beauty wedding beer selection wedding bow tie wedding budget wedding cake wedding cakes wedding coffee wedding dance wedding dances wedding dancing wedding dessert wedding destinations wedding DJ wedding donation wedding donuts wedding dress wedding drink ideas wedding drinks wedding entertainment wedding food ideas wedding gown wedding ideas wedding invitations wedding invites wedding kids wedding limo wedding makeup wedding music wedding party wedding planner wedding planning wedding seating wedding showcase wedding suit wedding thank you wedding tuxedo wedding wheels wedding wine wedding wines weddings weddings splurge vs. save what to wear who to invite wild west wedding wine suggestions wine types winter wedding winter wedding ideas wooden place settings #weddingbudget Aeki Beki affordable vacation after hours dj entertainment armenian wedding at home bridal shower bachelorette parties backyard weddings bakery beach getaway best man bridal bridal accessories Bridal Expo bridal gown bridal reflections Bridal Show bride children fashion country club wedding couture weddings daytime wedding decor dessert table destination wedding donors unite elope engagement engagement parties engagement rings english wedding escort cards event planners exotic cars fade to black new york Fall Bride fall wedding Fall Weddings favors first dance First Dance Wedding Song florist gentleman groom groom groom gifts groomsmen hair high voltage entertainment honeymoon honeymoon planning hvdj hvdjsny imakeupyou Indian Weddings invitations irish wedding italian wedding jewish wedding letterpress LIBridalExtravaganza live entertainment; liweddings long island long island bridal extravaganza long island mansions long island weddings long island weddings. liweddings Magna Sutra makeup; hair; aesthetic; airbrush; airbrush makeup; makeover; malta wedding ideas married life marryoke Mendi Microblading middle eastern wedding military wedding multicultural Pandit perfume photo booth photogaphy place settings planning form ring bearer russian wedding Saptapadi skyline orchestras south asian weddings southern wedding spring weddings summer wedding summer weddings texas wedding Thank you the lombardi bride the roslyn hotel tropical wedding tuscan wedding tuxedo tuxedos unique wedding vegan viana hotel villa lombardi's vintage weddings waterfront wedding wedding wedding advice wedding bands wedding blog wedding brunch wedding car wedding costs wedding dance wedding date wedding dates wedding drinks wedding favors wedding food wedding games wedding gifts wedding gowns wedding guest wedding ideas wedding music wedding photography wedding planning wedding prep wedding rings wedding signature drinks wedding style wedding tradition wedding traditions wedding transportation wedding trends wedding venues weddings wine winter wedding winter weddings