How to Handle Plus Ones and Kids at Your Wedding

Apr 30, 2025 04:42 PM Back

Planning your wedding guest list is one of the most delicate tasks in the entire process—and nothing tests your diplomacy skills quite like managing plus ones and whether or not to include children. Every couple wants to keep guests happy while staying true to their vision (and budget). So how do you strike the right balance? Here’s how to gracefully handle plus ones and kids at your wedding.

1. Decide on a Clear Policy Early On
Before you send out your invitations, sit down as a couple and decide on your policy for plus ones and kids. Here are a few common options:

For Plus Ones:
Allow plus ones only for guests who are married or in long-term relationships.
Offer plus ones to everyone to avoid awkwardness.
Limit plus ones to bridal party members or guests who won’t know anyone else.

For Kids:
Host an adults-only wedding.
Allow only children of immediate family.
Welcome all children (and possibly plan kid-friendly activities).
Once you’ve made your decision, stick to it. Consistency is key to avoiding hurt feelings.

2. Make It Clear on the Invitation
Your invitation wording should reflect your decision. For example:
If you’re not allowing kids, consider saying:
“We kindly request an adults-only celebration.”
If you’re only inviting certain children, list their names on the invitation envelope or RSVP card.
For plus ones, address the invitation specifically to the guest and their partner, or just to the guest alone—this signals whether a plus one is included.

3. Prepare for Some Pushback (and How to Respond)
Despite your best efforts, some guests might ask to bring a date or their children. Be polite but firm. Try these responses:
For Plus Ones:
“We’d love to keep the guest list intimate and are only inviting those listed on the invitation.”
For Kids:
“We hope you understand—we’re having an adults-only wedding to keep the day relaxed and focused.”
Most people will understand once they realize the decision isn’t personal, but practical.

4. Offer Helpful Solutions
If you’re not inviting kids, you can go the extra mile by:
Recommending local babysitting services or hotels with childcare.
Scheduling the wedding at a time that makes childcare easier for parents (e.g., not too late at night).
If you are inviting kids, consider:
Creating a “kids’ table” with crafts or games.
Hiring a sitter or entertainer for a designated play area.

5. Remember It’s Your Day
Your wedding should reflect your priorities—not someone else’s expectations. Whether you choose to include kids and plus ones or not, what matters is that your guests feel informed, respected, and excited to celebrate with you.

Handling plus ones and kids at your wedding doesn't have to be stressful. With clear communication, a little empathy, and thoughtful planning, you can keep your guest list under control—and your sanity intact.

Photo Credit: ADA Studio