Young Love: Why “Traditional” Weddings Still Hold The Most Promise

Jun 20, 2016 05:03 PM Back

I was recently talking to one of the tellers at my bank; a young man between the ages of 23 and 26 (give or take) and he informed me that besides still living at home, Millennials (for the most part) have little or NO desire to get settle down….and that includes getting married, owning a home or starting a family. Now I can’t say that I was in a rush to get married…but I can say that while I officially tied the knot in my mid thirties, I had stayed “single” until then, not because of lack of desire…but because things before that just didn’t work out. Still, most of my circle of friends got married between the ages of 18 and 25…and most are still together today. So, why is the up and coming generation so despondent about making their relationship official? Well, probably because they grew up in a time where they were rewarded “just” for showing up and in a system that put “failure” on par with success, not wanting to destroy their self-esteem or leave any child behind. Furthermore, settling down, sounds a lot like simply “settling”, which to any generation doesn’t really sound that appealing. And, getting married young is nowadays simply frowned up. Young soon to be weds are considered foolish, old-fashioned, extremely pious and religious, ignorant, inexperienced and destined for divorce….or any and all of the above. Still, people who strolled down the aisle before us (and them) seemed to have stayed together longer and have had less “expectations” and more gratification from marriage. Here are just the of the powerful positives from getting married young

Shared experiences: If you start young (such as H.S. sweethearts) there is less room for being tainted or jaded from too many “experiences”. In fact, the life experiences you make, you’ll likely make together and that, in many cases, is enough to help form a strong bond. In many cases you share each of each other’s firsts. First job, first car, etc…and in many cases you not only forge forward together as a family but with your youthful enthusiasm you learn to compromise and overcome and grow together as you take the world by storm.
There’s Less Weighing You Down: From less baggage to less heartache and “resentment”, young love holds lots of optimistic promise. Sure you may have each have had a prior relationship or two, but it’s likely it wasn’t of adult caliber and fraught with all the adult situations that leave your less open in general. Finding “The One” when you’re young allows you to settle and set in your ways together rather than separately and to leave other lovers and their likes, dislikes and expectations out of it.
You Have More Energy and Endurance and Fewer Expectations: From working things out to starting a family, young husbands and wives seem to have the stamina to do it all. Why, well, because it’s all new and exciting (for one) and because they still have the youthful exuberance of their prime age. Additionally, young love has, or traditionally had fewer expectations. Getting married later in life, and I speak from experience, leaves you looking at not just who the person is but what he or she is and has. When you’re young(er) you are willing to drive around in a jalopy, sleep in a small bed or eat pizza every night. When you’re more mature…not so much. Your tastes have changed (probably because of your own success and experiences) and you want more out of life and that alone may put unnecessary strain on the marriage.
Milestones Are Most Likely Shared: Young love makes it virtually impossible NOT to work together to accomplish your dreams. There is NOT usually one person who has made it and the other one is just along for the ride. So, there is less resentment….and you’re not usually trying to turn the other person into someone else (perhaps a former flame) or someone you want them to be or always dreamed of marrying. Instead you are fulfilling your dreams as a team.
Time Is On Your Side: Getting married sooner than later gives you all the essential and necessary time to grow up and catch up. There is not time clock pressuring young couples to buy the big home (in the suburbs), drive the fancy, prestigious car, vacation at the trendiest hotspots or to have kids on the spot. And, since they are likely more in love (even with the idea of being in love) and have less stress, having kids is usually more easy (so is raising them). Settling down while still growing up can be fun as you learn not only about yourself but each other without feeling the pressure of society or time and couples are likely to accomplish more.
Happier Marriages: Last but not least, those who wed between the ages of 20 and 28, at least according to statistics, were the happiest. They felt free to make mistakes and find ways to overcome them and since the pressure on what they NEEDED to have accomplished by this point was less, proved that less is truly more. Less stress meant longer, happier marriages with lots more fond memories and milestone moments to share.