The Real Deal: Shedding Light on Marriage So That It Can Be a Success
Oct 30, 2019 03:06 PM Back
Most of us want to believe that marriage is a fairytale and that “Happily Ever After” is as easy as Prince Charming kissing his one true princess.
Still, while there are definitely elements of unfolding storybook romance, it’s only one small part of the entire story…and how it ends often depends on you and your understanding of the true meaning of your union.
Marriage Is A Completion Of Your Relationship: Your relationship will be exactly what it is before tying the knot….and other than a few tweaks and concessions, you will, for the most part also be you. So, marriage will not always make things better. In fact, it more often than not, makes things more “complicated”.
You’ll both have to start thinking outside the box and outside of yourselves. And, along with marrying your mate, you are also marrying his or her family, issues, problems, etc. so, be prepared for taking on ALL the challenges that that may bring.
Also, if you are not happy with yourself or the relationship prior to your nuptials, adding more responsibility, obligations and “stress” is not going to complete you. You must be happy beforehand in order to continue being happy after the “I Dos”. Your marriage is merely a union (of choice) by two people who are vowing to show love (which entails compassion, understand, support, encouragement and a willingness to talk things out and work things through even when the going gets tough or when you’re not on the same page).
Your Mate Is Your Ultimate BFF: Yes, your mate is your biggest supporter (and so, other than your parents) it should be, but don’t make the mistake of making him or her your new bestie.
While your relationship is ultimately based on like more than love (since love is something we choose to do and to show those we like and sometimes even those we don’t like), your spouse should be your closest friends and the one you confide in on matters you wouldn’t share with someone else. Still, your best friend should be someone outside the bedroom, someone who was there well before your special someone came along and will be there well into the future.
Your Wedding Day Is the most important day of your adult life: Yes, your wedding is important, but there are lots more important decisions you make every day and will have to continue making well after the party and the honeymoon are over. Don’t sweat the small stuff, but instead focus on what’s important such as making sure you are both ready for what’s ahead (after the I Dos) and how to make the moment memorable for you and your guests without making it about stressing out.
Remember, life and marriage are not perfect, so while your wedding day should be your dream come true, it doesn’t have to be entirely perfect either. Leave room for enjoying just getting ready to become Mr. and Mrs. with some imperfections.
Love Is The Glue That Keeps Marriage Together: Hard work and compromise is the glue that keeps marriage together. Remember, once you tie the knot, not everyone will be on their best behavior all the time…and that means you’ll have to make some serious concessions. Yes, you want marriage to be fun and it should be especially in the beginning, but marriage has its trials, tribulations and difficulties and that means consciously choosing to make all the small sacrifices that keep a marriage together. Keep in mind that marriages don’t usually fall apart because of the “big ticket stuff” (typically, though there are some biggie deal breakers), but because of all the daily little irks and irritations that tend to get under our skin.
Marriage Is Something You Only Do Once: Your wedding is something you (hopefully) only do once, but marriage is something you start anew on a daily basis and as time goes on. Because people change and personalities change that often means the dynamic of your relationship also has to change and that may mean that you also have to change (to some degree). Still, while you and your partner adjust that should never compromise your love or your ability to show love and respect and to remain in love and your commitment (to one another and making it work) should (outside of deal breakers) never waver.
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